Category: News from the Dark Side
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REGGIE FAILS
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Bushgate mushrooms back into a pickle for usc, as Judge squashes Cornwell’s motion to settle via confidential (no-leek) arbitration; Instead, someone’s going to spill the beans If Bush is covering up something juicy, it’s about to be exposed, and oralized in Court. Maybe. A San Diego Judge ruled yesterday AGAINST Reggie Bush, DENYING the…
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QUEER EYE FOR THE SKIRT GUY
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Fairy Tale Ending: A 10-year Tommy Trojan’s Gay Wedding is greasing the wheels of the fight against a ban on Same-Sex Marriage Just call him “The Gay Caped Crusader.” Every once in a long while, an ex-trojan does something worthy of strokes, and this time, it’s Tommy the Trojan himself. A guy…
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Ex-trojan Bengal CAN’T change his stripes, CAN eat his young
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Holy Cornhole Carson’s pie-hole makes him sound wholly like an a-hole, to a whole lot of fans in Ohio Former trojan Quarterback Carson Palmer has said his share of dumb things over the years, but he may have just topped himself. Yesterday, the Host of Carson’s Cornhole Classic apparently thought that what he said…
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CHEAT ON!
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6 Weeks Until Football Season: It’s time to turn up the (c)heat on usc and the NCAA — Order now, to get them while they’re hot Another new product that is bound to catch the imagination of the Nation — A Nation that is absolutely sick of usc getting away with…
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SHORT BUS STOPS AT USC AGAIN (ISN’T THAT SPECIAL!)
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New test scores plus graDes of acaDemically-challengeD one-anD-Done canDiDate Demar Derozan are gooD enough for him to be ramroDDeD into floyD’s “cavalcaDe of conDumbs,” as the next hope to Derail the Dramatic Decline, Decimation, and possible Dissolution of the DemonizeD and DemoralizeD usc athletic Department Won’t they ever learn? With the…
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AGE OF CONSENT: Scott Wolf is NOT doing anything wrong
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Just a quick note to those of you who notice one of the classic BeatSC.com UCLA Dance Team photos on Scott Wolf’s usc blog, WITHOUT the BeatSC.com logo: He has express written permission to share BeatSC.com photos with his readers. It is necessary, in order for them to understand the TRUE hierarchy of…
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OLSON IS WAIVED, UTLEY IS CRAVED, BARON’S NOT SAVED, AND TATUPU HAS CAVED
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DREW is shown the Back Door by Faith-less San Francisco; CHASE takes the Front Door to trojan-less All-Star Game; DAVIS sees Brand use the Revolving Door to escape Hope-less Clippurgatory; And LOFA will be the Door Prize for a Freedom-less Cellmate Lord have Mercy! That’s more “Doors” than Jim “Backdoor…
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BRING IT ON!
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Brought on by massive trojan denial: A head-to-head face-off between UCLA and Oregon, for Spirit Supremacy “The Devil Made Me Do It.” Is this REALLY necessary? Has the blinding light of The Rivalry really rendered trojans unable to see what is right in front of them? Is it THAT hard…
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DIGGING ALL THE WAY TO CHINA (and leaving the trojans behind)
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Bruin Great Elaine Youngs is Set to Go to The Promised Sand of Beijing, Blocking and Spiking the Olympic Dreams of TWO Cardinal & Gold Diggers Can you Dig it? Thanks to their strong performance this week in Moscow, the Beach Volleyball team of Elaine “E.Y.” Youngs and Nicole Branagh clinched…
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FIG U SKATERS
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Oh, BOI! — Thanks to another frozen WITTness, Figueroa Tech’s Most KWANted is no longer on thin ice, and will probably go SCOTT free Quick — Someone get a shovel and dig up the 50-yard line in the Coliseum — You just might find the shallow grave of the latest…
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FAILURE TO YIELD TO L.A.’S FINEST
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(Bush-) Gate Crashers: Carroll crashes into a Cop car, while Garrett crashes trojans’ Viewing Party of UCLA Cheerleaders Only Pete Carroll could ram into a Police car, and have it be reported as the Police’s fault. Four days ago, Carroll was tooling down the Pacific Coast Highway in the fast…
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RAIN, SNOW, AND ALE
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Storm-addled Seattle will Ride the Westbrook Lightning; Frigid Minnesota doesn’t find Love Abominable; and Lager-wacky Milwaukee uses Draft to Tap Mbah a Moute to put the “oom pa pa” back into America’s Polka & Pilsner Town YouTube is one hell of an Agent. A few years ago, Russell Westbrook was a virtual unknown. Then…