FAILURE TO YIELD TO L.A.’S FINEST

(Bush-) Gate Crashers:  Carroll crashes into a Cop car, while Garrett crashes trojans’ Viewing Party of UCLA Cheerleaders

Only Pete Carroll could ram into a Police car, and have it be reported as the Police’s fault.

Four days ago, Carroll was tooling down the Pacific Coast Highway in the fast lane, when a Sheriff’s car apparently got an urgent call, and had to reverse directions.  As the Sheriff went to make his U-turn, he was allegedly t-boned by an oblivious Carroll.  

Naturally, the Media Reports do NOT include any of the pertinent details, so HERE is what MIGHT take place in an America’s Most Wanted-style hokey re-enactment:  Not only was Carroll using his cell phone, but he was TEXTING a Recruit with it.  While trying to spell-check the words “tutor,” “escort,” and “fellatio,” he didn’t notice the Sheriff’s bubble-lights start flashing,  the siren start blaring, nor every other car on PCH start pulling over to the right. 

Or maybe he DID notice, but decided that those dusty, old Rules of the Road don’t apply to HIM.  After all, he’s Pete Carroll — What kind of Police Emergency could possibly be more important than whatever Pete is up to?

Or maybe Pete was playing the law of averages, and figured that by impeding a Police Pursuit in L.A., he’s probably helping a trojan evade capture.  Either that, or the Malibu Sheriff was the same one that Pete’s probable Drinking Buddy Mel Gibson had an issue with a while back, and Pom Pom wanted to get even for his White Nation brother.

No matter HOW it happened, it’s a miracle that the Deputy isn’t standing up for himself.  Never before has a Cop admitted total fault in a collision.  Well, not without being paid off.  The trojan spin doctors were probably helicoptered to the scene, and started immediately debriefing the Sheriff, who will now probably enjoy 50-yard line seats at the Coliseum, for life.   That’s because only someone with a weapon can feel safe enough there to “enjoy” anything.

And speaking of not being able to enjoy something, the Jeerleader situation over at Scott Wolf’s Daily News usc blog has deteriorated into such a sh*tstorm that the usc Athletic Department has become involved.  Someone from usc had already been putting pressure on Wolf to stop bashing the current and recent usc Song Girls, but even when he mellowed, the trojan FANS didn’t.  So now, Mike Garrett is taking over, and there’s a new Sheriff in town.

Not only has his staff told Wolf to CENSOR all the negative language (i.e. no more “…so fat and ugly!”) about the Girls, but — and THIS is where it gets interesting — the usc Athletic Department has instructed Wolf (a Daily News-employed, NOT usc-employed, blogger) to STOP POSTING PHOTOS OF UCLA CHEERLEADERS!!!!!

Apparently, Garrett and the powers that be over in Heritage Hall are so humiliated by the discrepancy between their Song Girls and the UCLA Spirit Squad, that they can no longer stomach having their fans be exposed to the Bruin Girls.  Just the simple posting of a photo of a UCLA Cheerleader is deemed to be an insulting put-down of the sc Song Girls, by TACIT comparison.

To be fair (which we NEVER, EVER claimed to be), the edict included the Cheerleaders from the University of Oregon as well.  So they are not saying that UCLA is the only group that is far and away superior to sc — they are saying that the Bruins are one of TWO groups that are far and away superior to sc.  The fact that the Ducks are included proves that this ban is not Rivalry-related, and is purely a reaction to the feedback of trojan fans, who are obsessed with the perceived decline of trojan song girl civilization, and who envy the Bruins and Ducks most of all.

We don’t want to INVITE all those arrogant, immature, and nearly-illiterate trojan fans HERE, because they would just stink up the place, and infest the incoming comments with their childish garbage, but we wish that someone would show them all the recent photos that we have posted, of the Bruin AND Duck Cheer Squads, so that they would stop claiming that the Ducks are in the same league with the Bruins.  They get so excited when Wolf posts a single LITTLE photo of an opposing hottie, while if they came HERE, they would see a hundred times more photos that were each a hundred times better. 

And here are a few more cases in point…