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Recent News from the Dark Side

  • ROSEN IMPLOSION

    UCLA’s True Freshman Quarterback finally plays like a True Freshman, committing three straight critical Turnovers, one returned for a game-changing TD, as UCLA blows a second-half 21-20 lead to lose 40-21, ending the Bruins’ three-game winning streak against the trojans Josh Rosen is a great Quarterback.  Even as a True Freshman, he set the UCLA […]

  • THE REPLACEMENT KILLERS

    Fool’s Gold? — UCLA’s Defense (still missing its 3 best players) holds Utah’s Offense to ZERO Touchdowns — IN Utah — and Bruin “replacement player” Jayon Brown recovers a fumble with 1:09 to go to preserve a 17-9 victory, but the Utes’ Offense was missing ITS two best players, so keep things in perspective as the Rivalry […]

  • CAUGHT REDD-HANDED

    Sigh-less — Yet ANOTHER ex-trojan gets busted for cheating, as Redskin Running Back Silas Redd receives a 4-game suspension for SUBSTANCE ABUSE The beat goes on, and on, and on.  Stop me if you’ve heard this before, but the word “trojan” and the word “cheater” are synonymous.  For the umpteenth time, a trojan player gets […]

  • (CHO)KING OF THE CASSEL

    Dallas Clownboy — Matt Cassel is just one of three ex-trojan QB’s to drop the ball… into their opponents’ hands on Sunday;  Two of them cost their teams the game, while the other one was bailed out, against an ex-trojan Coach, who was just one of three ex-trojan Coaches to go down in defeat The […]

  • PARIS PAIN PUTS PAULEY, PASADENA PITFALLS INTO PERSPECTIVE

    SacreBlue –UCLA loses in Overtime to lowly Monmouth in Basketball, then loses in the last 3 seconds to underdog Washington State in Football, while u$c Football barely escapes Colorado with a win after trailing by 11 in the second half; Ordinarily I would call this triple-whammy a “tragedy,” but not this weekend This is a […]

  • SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS ARE BLUE-ISH (AMERICAN PRINCESSES)

    Feeling Blue? — For Halloween, the UCLA Dance Team donned blue hair (NOT a reference to the legendary senior citizen season ticket holders in Pauley Pavilion who never stand up and cheer) to root on the Blue and Gold Five years ago for Halloween, the UCLA Cheer Squad girls dressed up as Disney Princesses.  This […]

  • THE DUDA BITES

    Mark it zero — Ex-trojan Lucas Duda’s wild throw home in the 9th frame costs the Mets the World Series, as the Royals tie it up on Duda’s non-strike, and go on to win Game 5 in 12 innings 7-2, bowling over New York into the gutter 4-1, to become World Champs Never before has […]

  • TROJAN’S “JEM” FLOPS, BUT BRUIN GEMS ARE TOPS

    Trojan Completes a Bomb — Highly-decorated u$c film school graduate Jon Chu delivers the biggest box office flop in the history of Universal Pictures, as his live-action movie version of the beloved 80’s cartoon Jem & the Holograms gets “Universally” panned by critics and fans, and finishes FIFTEENTH on its opening weekend, making only $1.32 […]

  • PRO BRUINS PROS, ANTI TROJANS CONS

    A League That We Own — Two UCLA players are instrumental in their NFL Teams’ victories this weekend, while several ex-trojan heroes are goats in their teams’ unexpected losses It’s probably just a coincidence, but after a week where trojan pride was at an all time low, a bunch of ex-trojans sabotaged their respective Pro […]

  • TROJANS CAN GO TO HEL…TON

    Clay Nation — After u$c chokes away a 4th quarter lead against Notre Dame due to bad play calling and poor game management, Bruin fans should start a campaign to get woozy Haden to lift Head Coach Clay Helton’s “interim” tag What a fortnight for the trojans.  First they lose to unranked Washington to fall […]

  • ALL-AMERICAN HORROR STORY

    Involuntary Stan-slaughter — With UCLA missing 3 All-American level Defenders, Stanford beats the Bruins to a bloody pulp, behind an All-American assault by Running Back Christian McCaffrey, who amasses 369 Total Yards and 4 Touchdowns in a 56-35 massacre It was no contest.  For the 8th straight time, Stanford has defeated UCLA, and like in […]

  • ONLY YOU CAN PREVENT FORCED FIRES (BUT NOT IF YOU GO 3-2)

    Build a better souse trap — Trojans show no sympathy to disease-ridden Sarkisian, firing him on the very day he enters rehab for his alcoholism Sympathy from the Devils?  Not quite.  Just one day after expressing sorrow and concern for Head trojan Football Coach Steve Sarkisian, U$C Athletic Director Pat Haden has axed him.  Yesterday, […]

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