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Recent News from the Dark Side

  • MO MAS! NO MAS!

    Osa Double Dose-a — Due to two (count ’em, TWO) separate investigations of SEXUAL ASSAULT [rape, forcible sodomy, fondling and “exploitation by telecom.”] in two different states, trojan Linebacker Osa Masina has been suspended for sc’s season opener against Alabama Innocent until proven guilty.  That’s what I always say.  But it may be reasonable to […]

  • MARIJUANAVICH EM-BARE-ASSED AGAIN

    The Nude Bomb — Ex-trojan hero, NFL bust, and Chronic offender Todd Marinovich gets busted yet again, this time for being NAKED, with pot, in someone else’s backyard [UPDATE:  It is now being reported that they found METH on him too!] All that talent.  All that money.  Pissed away by a total loser trojan.  Once […]

  • A-MAYS-ING (DIS)GRACE

    How Sweet the Sound — Former trojan Defensive Back Taylor Mays gets released by the Bengals due to his impending SECOND suspension for violating the NFL’s Substance Abuse Policy Another NON-shocker:  Another Pete Carroll trojan is busted for illegal drugs.  Coincidence this is NOT.  A blatant pattern of drug abuse and performance-enhancment has been clearly […]

  • (SOUTH) CENTRAL “INTELLIGENCE” AGENCY: SC’S LANGLEY BUSTED AT UCLA PARTY

    More proof that trojans wish they were Bruins:  u$c Cornerback Isaiah Langley gets suspended for 1 game for getting arrested at a UCLA frat party, for suspicion of intoxication, resisting arrest, and trespassing — for refusing to leave! UCLA is the most applied-to school in the World.  It’s hard to get in, and thousands of […]

  • Re-FUSE to Lose

    The Young and The Brainless — The Clown Prince of Stupidity Nick Young does it again, this time picking up a firework with A LIT FUSE, and holding it in his hands as it explodes, nearly blinding, maiming, and/or killing the ex-trojan They say you don’t have to be old to be wise, but apparently, […]

  • NBA HOLDS THE MAYO… OUT FOR TWO YEARS

    The dreck is in the Mayo — Ex-trojan O.J. Mayo is suspended from the NBA for two years, after he violates the League’s Substance Abuse Policy, again MAYO THE HORSE BE WITH YOU.  Well, we don’t know if he was using horse (i.e. heroin), cocaine, PCP, LSD, or amphetamines, but ex-trojan screw-up O.J. Mayo was […]

  • PAT-ENTLY DIRTY

    Haden Out to the Highway (Robbery)– The Los Angeles Times has just exposed trojan-for-life Pat Haden, for ripping off a charity and funneling millions of dollars to himself, his relatives, and his alma mater Southern Cal On June 30th, Pat Haden will step down as u$c’s Athletic Director… and not a moment too soon.  With […]

  • FOR WHOM THE NEL POLES

    Philly (mi)stake — Ex-Trojan may not have been a gentleman in the gentleman’s club, as a Philadelphia Pole Dancer accuses the Eagles’ Nelson Agholor of Rape It’s only June, so despite ESPN rolling them out already, it’s WAY too early to discuss preseason Football polls. Meanwhile, ex-trojan Nelson Agholor MAY have whipped out HIS pole […]

  • TO MAKE A WRONG STORY SHOT

    Ex-trojan Bryce Dejean-Jones dies tragically, when he mistakenly goes to the incorrect story of his estranged girlfriend’s apartment complex, and kicks down the door of the unit directly under hers, where the occupant legally shoots and kills him This a a dark day for the Dark Side.  There is tragedy in Troy, as 23-year old […]

  • EX-TROJAN McDONALD’S DUI KEEPS THE “CLOWN” IN “CLOWN COLLEGE”

    I’m Lovin’ It… because he didn’t kill anyone — Former u$c Football player T.J. McDonald is arrested for Driving Under the Influence, of something other than alcohol How long has it been since a trojan has made the Police Blotter?  Not that long, actually.  Not exactly a “drought.”  It was just a few weeks ago […]

  • SLIP OF THE YOUNG

    “Reble” without a clue — Just when you thought ex-trojan Nick Young couldn’t be any stupider, he tries to get a giant back tattoo that reads “BORN REBLE” When a Rap Star has to correct your spelling, you know you’re a trojan. Current Los Angeles Laker and former trojan Nick Young has been a laughingstock […]

  • A MILLION WAY$ TO DIVE IN THE WE$T

    Geronimo-ney! —Swim with Mike 2016 at USC raises over a million dollars for physically-challenged athletes, thanks in part to the bighearted USC Song Girls, who dived into the pool for this praiseworthy charity Welcome to the annual bury-the-rivalry-hatchet week, as I put aside my allegiances to praise the efforts of the Swim with Mike charity, […]

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