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Recent News from the Dark Side

  • SWAGGY P – BRAIN

    The Mustard Falls Off the Hotdog — Current L.A. Laker and ex-trojan Nick “Swaggy P” Young gets accused of lewd behavior and sexually harassing a woman — and her mother — at an intersection in Hollywood What a Swagoff.  You can take the player out of u$c, but you can’t take the u$c out of […]

  • NEVER MIND THE BULLOCK!!

    Anarchy in the NCAA –u$c punks choke in March Madness 70-69, blowing a 5-point lead in the final 2:21, with 2 consecutive turnovers, then 3 missed Free Throws in the final minute, and finally, a blown defense, on an inbounds play with 3 seconds left, allowing Providence’s Rodney Bullock to get the Rock, wide open […]

  • TROJAN ANCHOR SINKS CAROLINA IN SUPER BOWL SHIPWRECK

    Ka-lil, Ker-plunk:  Friendly fire torpedoes Panthers, as their own Offensive Line — anchored by ex-trojan Center Ryan Kalil — is like a screen door on a submarine, allowing Denver’s Defense to get 7 Sacks, cause 4 Turnovers, and score a Touchdown in the Broncos’ 24-10 Super Bowl 50 Victory Peyton Manning, despite an entirely lackluster […]

  • THE TROJAN WART

    Choker’s Wild — Ex-trojan Carson Palmer blunders through the NFC Championship game, personally committing SIX Turnovers:  TWO lost fumbles, and FOUR Interceptions, including TWO in the End Zone, and a Pick-6, dragging Arizona to a season-terminating 49-15 loss The Carolina Panthers are going to the Super Bowl.  Most people will say that their MVP in […]

  • SEE USC’S DIXON. SEE DIXON GET BUSTED FOR CARJACKING. DON’T BE A DIXON

    Driving it into the end zone — Ex-trojan Tight End Bryce Dixon, who had previously gotten in trouble for sexual misconduct, is now in jail for suspicion of carjacking and/or a series of robberies All’s well that ends well?  Bryce Dixon was a hotshot trojan Tight End, when he got embroiled in a campus sex […]

  • DeMar DeRozan DeFrocks da trojans’ academics

    3+1 = 3 — Ex-trojan’s “duh” moment and admission that he didn’t attend college discloses u$c’s despicable academic deception Some people think that after 50 years, u$c is finally starting to close the academic gap by which it has always trailed UCLA.  They claim that by using their vast financial resources, they have been hiring […]

  • TWO CHOKE GIRLS

    Choking a gift horse in the mouth — Trojan “stars” Kessler and Smith-Schuster both totally choke in the final 30 seconds of the Holiday Bowl, allowing Wisconsin to salvage a 23-21 victory, DESPITE a Badgers’ game-winning Touchdown being disallowed on a blatantly BLOWN CALL For a while, it looked like it was going to happen […]

  • ROSEN IMPLOSION

    UCLA’s True Freshman Quarterback finally plays like a True Freshman, committing three straight critical Turnovers, one returned for a game-changing TD, as UCLA blows a second-half 21-20 lead to lose 40-21, ending the Bruins’ three-game winning streak against the trojans Josh Rosen is a great Quarterback.  Even as a True Freshman, he set the UCLA […]

  • THE REPLACEMENT KILLERS

    Fool’s Gold? — UCLA’s Defense (still missing its 3 best players) holds Utah’s Offense to ZERO Touchdowns — IN Utah — and Bruin “replacement player” Jayon Brown recovers a fumble with 1:09 to go to preserve a 17-9 victory, but the Utes’ Offense was missing ITS two best players, so keep things in perspective as the Rivalry […]

  • CAUGHT REDD-HANDED

    Sigh-less — Yet ANOTHER ex-trojan gets busted for cheating, as Redskin Running Back Silas Redd receives a 4-game suspension for SUBSTANCE ABUSE The beat goes on, and on, and on.  Stop me if you’ve heard this before, but the word “trojan” and the word “cheater” are synonymous.  For the umpteenth time, a trojan player gets […]

  • (CHO)KING OF THE CASSEL

    Dallas Clownboy — Matt Cassel is just one of three ex-trojan QB’s to drop the ball… into their opponents’ hands on Sunday;  Two of them cost their teams the game, while the other one was bailed out, against an ex-trojan Coach, who was just one of three ex-trojan Coaches to go down in defeat The […]

  • PARIS PAIN PUTS PAULEY, PASADENA PITFALLS INTO PERSPECTIVE

    SacreBlue –UCLA loses in Overtime to lowly Monmouth in Basketball, then loses in the last 3 seconds to underdog Washington State in Football, while u$c Football barely escapes Colorado with a win after trailing by 11 in the second half; Ordinarily I would call this triple-whammy a “tragedy,” but not this weekend This is a […]

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