Category: News from the Dark Side
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MORA STANDS PAT…HADEN UP
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You can’t spell “schadenfreude” without “Haden” — Defying the wishes of every trojan (and Husky) including Pat Haden, Jim Mora decides to stay at UCLA, signing a 6-year extension with the Bruins, while the trojans are still stuck with Steve Sarkisian If it was REALLY Pat Haden’s plan to get…
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SARKNADO
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Trojans gobble up leftover turkey — In a move smacking of desperation and an ulterior motive, u$c settles for Steve Sarkisian, hoping to re-capture the “success” of the Pete Carroll Cheating Era and also hoping to induce Jim Mora to bail on UCLA; The dubious move has created a Sharknado-like…
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THE HUNDLEY GAMES II — CATCHING FIRE (AGAIN)
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Hungry Hundley Bruin — In the annual Fight to the Death between UCLA and u$c, Brett Hundley executes the trojans for the second year in a row, running the Bruin Offense with Kat(niss)-like efficiency, throwing for 208 yards and running for 80 yards and 2 TD’s, while the UCLA Defense…
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SPLAT BARKLEY — ILL-EAGLE ENTRY
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Ex-trojan Matt Barkley has possibly the worst Pro Football debut in history, playing only 3 drives and throwing 4 Interceptions (1 called back on a Defensive penalty); It appears the thrid-string Philadelphia Eagle QB is still smarting from the hit he took from Anthony Barr that ended his college career.…
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Dirty Rotten SCoundrels
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Trojan cheap shot to the neck of Notre Dame’s QB knocks him out of the game, but despite the back-up’s disgracefully bad performance, the Irish still manage to Beat SC 14-10, by shutting them out in the Second Half For the first month of their dismal season, u$c fans were…
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DESIRE TO GO HIGHER? FIRE LIAR MCGWIRE!
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Roid Sage — Dodgers are eliminated from the Postseason as Batting Coach (and lying ex-trojan) Mark McGwire’s Offense totally chokes, mustering just 2 hits, and getting shut out again, in 9-0 Game 6 loss to St. Louis Bad karma, or bad Coaching? Either way you look at it, a SCumbag…
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PRETTY AND PINK
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The UCLA Spirit Squad sports pink pom poms to support Breast Cancer Awareness — color me aware Many comedians and comedy writers say that anything can be joked about. Even sickness, death, murder, rape, disabilities, genocide, The Holocaust, assassinations — ANYTHING. Some people will be offended, but humor is a…
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EXIT LANE
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Lane Kiffin gets pulled off the team bus at LAX and is fired Lane Kiffin was so bad, he couldn’t even outlast the sanctions. Everyone thought that Lane Kiffin was just a placeholder, until u$c’s sanctions expired and a real coach could be hired. Athletic Director Pat Haden said after…
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TROJANS TOSS THEIR COOKIES
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Cookie D’oh! — u$c gets dunked by Arizona State 62-41, their wafer-thin Defense gets chipped away for 611 yards of Total Offense, their only good player crumbles to the ground with an injury, they lose their “crying-over-spilled-milk” appeal to the NCAA for sanction reductions, and trojan hero O.J. Simpson gets…
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CLAY AND REY PLAY TROJAN WAY (… AND THEY PAY)
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Ex-trojans Clay Matthews and Rey Maualuga each cost their teams Week 1 victories with stupid, classless bush league penalties Not only did the u$c trojans lose in embarrassing fashion this weekend, but two NFL teams also lost thanks to unforgivable mistakes made by two brain-dead ex-trojans. Just one day after…
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HORRIBLE TOSSES
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Kessler throws a Pick 6 (to Damante Horton) and Wittek hurls the game-sealing Interception (also to Damante Horton) as Washington State’s Offense never finds the end zone, but the Cougars still Beat SC and Spacey horrible boss Kiffin 10-7 SC Sucks. Always has, always will. But now, everyone on the…
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IT’S BEEN A HARD DAY FOR McKNIGHT
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Sleepin’ like a log — Ex-trojan Joe McKnight will have plenty of time to sleep, as he gets cut from the Jets, after announcing “they’re going to have to kill me to take away my spot.” Former u$c Running Back Joe McKnight is a Free Agent today, after being unceremoniously…