Author: ucladavid
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FLOYD’S NOT MELLOW, MAYO’S NOT ‘MELO
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TIMMY GETS TOSSED, AND O.J. GETS LOST: Ejected Coach/Joker and Dejected Roach-Smoker are humiliated in 74-50 laugher, especially by a blown Mayo lay-up that was a selfish attempt to get on Sportscenter No pass, no play? Then O.J. Mayo shouldn’t play. The usc trOJans went into Pullman to face a…
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THE PRINCESS PRIDE
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TRUE LOVE: No need to Have Fun Storming the Castle, as it would be INCONCEIVABLE for us to say anything to this pictorial request other than “As… You…W-i-i-i-i-sshh!!” Andre the Giant may “dream of large women,” but now it’s time for you to “dream large,” for a sweet, young woman who has…
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D.C. FAB
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Hard-Driving Darren Collison and the Bruins get Hacked but Fare well, Running over the Cougars 67-59, and will Taxi into Seattle alone in First Place, with the Meter running but with Stanford in Hot Pursuit The Bruins are not Addicted to Love. That’s because they have other ways to beat you…
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NEU BLUE CREW KNOX IT OUT OF THE PARK
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Bruins come up with a Homer in the bottom of the 9th, signing LA’s Best Player away from Notre Dame at the last minute to complete a stellar Recruiting Class Star Running Back Milton Knox waited until the last minute, but now it’s Official: Milton is tiltin’ the scales of Football Power back to UCLA’s…
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LAST SEC’S APPEAL
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Today is Signing Day for Football Recruits, and anyone who defects on UCLA is missing the Big Picture With all due respect to Karl Dorrell and Jay Norvell, could there really be a Bruin commit out there who thinks that due to the Coaching changes, UCLA is no longer their best option? Well, a…
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PRETTY PERFECT
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THE PERFECT CRIME: Ex-trOJan Junior Seau’s latest Senior Moment proves him Guilty — Of AIDING & ABETTING the Giants (in New York’s 17-14 Super Bowl Mugging of the Patriots); Of ROBBING New England (of Perfection); and of STRANGLING Boston’s hopes for a (Sox/Pats/Celts) Perfect Storm. How can you achieve Perfection when you…
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LOVESTRUCK ZONA ‘CATS
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RUSS NEVER SLEEPS: Westy (21 pts) smokes Budinger and U of A with Love (26, 11), sparking an 82-60 stoning on a night of highs and highs including the introduction of Norm Chow (and of NEW SPIRIT UNI’S that made for at least ONE Lovestruck Puppy Dog) What is this, “The…
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HERE’S YOUR SIGN
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If you blow off this blue & golden opportunity to come “backstage” and Schmooze with the Stars, Bill Engvall has a sign for you What do you MEAN, “Who the Hell is Bill Engvall?” Bill Engvall is the comedian from the Jeff Foxworthy stable who borrowed a gag from Mad Magazine and turned…
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CALLING DR. LOVE
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Just What the Doctor Ordered: Sun Devils don’t shine in Pauley, as Love and Shipp dissect ASU, 84-51, but it’s already time to start prepping for U of A, who just Kevorkianed usc 80-69 “You better call up the ambulance, I’m — deep in shock; Overloaded, Baby, I can hardly walk… Somebody get me…
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TWO TICKETS TO PARADISE
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Got your (front row center) tickets yet? Instead of getting blitzed in the parking lot before the ASU game, come meet the Cheerleaders in the Student Store, for a Natural High that will last through the whole game Yeah, yeah, we know what you’re thinking: “Why can’t we do both?” Okay, sure — We aren’t advocating…
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CORVALLIS DOESN’T LIVE HERE ANY MORE
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Rejuvenated Beavers keep it tight for 20 minutes, but DC Power and Big Love turn on and stretch the lead in 2nd half in 85-62 pelting; And this just in: O.J. Mayo’s Dad busted for Dealing Weed (Do you still think the Pot in O.J.’s car belonged to his friend?) On a night where Freshman…
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O.J. PAYO
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Another guilty trojan O.J. gets off: Mayo bends over, but avoids spanking, despite blatantly defying NCAA Rules, and will only have to donate $460 to his favorite charity (The Floyd Foundation for Lying SCumbags?) Does “O.J.” stand for “Obliterate Justice?” First, trOJan Hero O.J. Simpson commits the most serious of all violations and…