They say “Nobody’s Perfect,” but THEY never met THESE Girls.

THE PERFECT CRIME:  Ex-trOJan Junior Seau’s latest Senior Moment proves him Guilty —  Of AIDING & ABETTING the Giants (in New York’s 17-14 Super Bowl Mugging of the Patriots); Of ROBBING New England (of Perfection); and of STRANGLING Boston’s hopes for a (Sox/Pats/Celts) Perfect Storm.

How can you achieve Perfection when you rely on an alleged Homophobic Racist?  One early play does not make a game, but when New England’s still-Ringless Linebacker Junior Seau got fooled by an Eli Manning fake hand-off, the Giant QB whizzed the ball right by Seau’s slow-to-react outstretched hand – to David Tyree, right in the area that Junior had just vacated – for THE GIANTS’ FIRST TOUCHDOWN OF THE SUPER BOWL, and  a 10-7 lead in the Fourth Quarter. 

Sure, the Pats came back and regained the lead with 2:42 left, but because of Seau’s screw-up, the Giants KNEW that they could get BACK in the End Zone.  It was that new-found confidence that allowed Manning to drive the team to the game-winning score, a pass to NOT DOUBLE-COVERED Plaxico Burress, on which the Defender seemed to lose his footing.

Burress is the Player who PREDICTED a low-scoring Giant victory, and he hadn’t done anything for the whole game, until he struck the fatal blow in Seau’s long-running and now almost comical, Karl Malone-style quest for an NFL Title.  But Burress – TO US – will always be the guy who once caught a pass, THOUGHT he was down, and then SPIKED A LIVE BALL in the middle of a play.  Of course, knocking off the Patriots can go a long way to easing the pain of being a staple on so many Sports Blooper DVD’s.

The Patriots hadn’t scored under 20 all season long, a season in which they went 16-0 and became the Highest Scoring Team in History, but on Sunday, they were pathetic.  Last year’s Bruin Offense could have done better — At least they would have called more Screens, Draws, and Roll Outs to counteract the Giants’ Devastating Pass Rush.  Bill Belichick was thoroughly outcoached by Tom Coughlin, who used superior schemes and strategies to balance out a severe discrepancy in talent.  If they played again next week, the Pats would still be big favorites, so it’s not like the best team won, it’s more like the best team on that ONE day won, thanks to better planning and motivation.

So Belichick, the arrogant Coach who unfairly attacked Bruin Freddie Mitchell with a very public barrage of unwarranted words, was completely shown up by Coughlin, the Coach who cites John Wooden as one of his Role Models, and a main source of Inspiration.  He even quoted Wooden to his Players, as they successfully climbed the NFL version of a Pyramid of Success.  Since 1 second remained when the game was really “decided,” classless poor loser Belichick left the field before the last play was run.

Eli Manning won the MVP Award, but David Tyree grabbed a lot of the spotlight, with the TD catch behind Seau, and a miraculous circus catch later in the 4th to keep the crucial drive alive.  The Giants’ Defense deserves the rest of the credit — for virtually shutting down the highest-powered Offense in History.  The Giants had another Offensive Player play a key role in sustaining drives, and that is their ex-trOJan, Rookie Steve Smith.  Smith caught 5 passes for 50 yards and no TD’s, but moved the chains several times, including on a late 3rd and 11.  Of course Smith was almost the Goat instead of Seau, because it was Smith’s DROP that turned into Manning’s only Interception of the game, when the tipped ball was picked off in the 2nd Quarter.

So even though it sucks that Smith – the CLASSY guy who broke his teammate’s jaw over a video game bet while at usc – gets to call himself a World Champion for a year (despite missing 11 games this season), at least over-hyped Tom Brady, convicted cheater Bill Belichick,  unconvicted Woman-basher Randy Moss, ex-trOJan Matt Cassell, and especially Junior “I ain’t no Homo” Seau, don’t.  Hey Seau — Why didn’t you tell your teammates to use Fried Chicken and Watermelon to stop David Tyree, like you told guys about LaDainian Tomlinson?

As for Super Bowl commercials, we loved the Jockey slapping Shaq in the Balls, and we liked some animals:  The Clydesdale/Dalmatian team, the Giant Carrier Pigeons, and the freaky Squirrel.  Possibly the favorite image was Richard Simmons about to be the victim of vehicular “man”-slaughter.  And speaking of things that aren’t sexual, don’t bother with the Danica Patrick GoDaddy thing online.

And re Halftime:  Hey Tom Petty –  David Spade of the Future called from 2028, and he wants his face back.  However, Tom ROCKED… for an old guy.  “Runnin’ Down a Dream” sounded great for a performance like that.  Hopefully, it wasn’t a Hannah Montana lypsynch thing going on, because, from a non-musician “layfan’s” point of view, they sounded pretty tight.

And speaking of tight… Early in the morning, before you woke up, Jordan Farmar’s Lakers, without the aid of Andrew Bynum or Pau Gasol, kicked the collective ass of ex-trOJan Nick Young’s Washington Wizards, in Washington, indicating that there is a good chance that Nick will be – once again – watching Jordan on Television when the NBA reaches their version of the Final Four.  That Farmar always did run a tight ship.


And now, three personal notes: 

1) We just received an e-mail from an address that we didn’t recognize, but the address contained the first name AND (Top 12) University name, of someone that we were actually hoping to receive a response/photo from.  We thought it was too much of a coincidence, so we risked it and clicked the link.  We won’t reveal what the site was for, but we will say that we got the identical e-mail at a different e-mail address, one that the person in question doesn’t have.  Therefore, it was just run of the mill spam, not a covert communique from a secret admirer, recommending that we join a certain online community, or even just a convenient way of sharing some photos.  Of course it wasn’t, but, what a trip to even contemplate it for a minute!

2) Never before have “The Overs” been so completely TOAST at halftime of a Super Bowl.  We mailed in the payment before Tom Petty finished singing.  The Game’s Opening Drive took a whopping 10 minutes off the clock, and of course netted only 3 points.  And from there, it was an uphill battle that never saw the light of day.  Thanks a lot, Belichick, for failing to adjust.  Kevin Faulk should have had 200 combined yards from scrimmage, with the way the Giants were bringing the heat.

3) And most importantly:  “We” want to re-emphasize our “love” (but not “Man-Love”) for the Men (and Women, if they have ’em — Just shows how ignorant we are) of 29 Palms.  Last year, we spoke to the UCLA Spirit Squad at their “Boot Camp” (which is a term of RESPECT for the real thing), and we mentioned how just the sight of them in their Bruin Cheer outfits was  “larger than life.”  We MEANT it.  Especially to someone from L.A., those uniforms are ICONIC, like the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders are to everyone in Texas and many parts beyond.  It’s not just “some attractive co-ed in cool clothes;”  When they don those uni’s, they become indestructible Superheroes. 

Well… We think you KNOW what we’re going to say, but — When it comes to Uniforms, there is ONE that is unparalleled, and the 29-Palmers probably agree.  Even if their TV commercials WEREN’T so cool, and even if their slogans WEREN’T the best, their well-earned reputation would still earn those Uniforms – and the people in them – the Respect and yes, the Love, that they deserve.

Now to get to the point — If you 29ers scour this site’s archives, you might find some comments that you wouldn’t appreciate.  So we just wanted to be clear:  We are personally afraid of Death, and most of our thoughts are guided by NOT WANTING ANY Young Americans to die, including Military personnel.  So if you see a comment that appears to be anti-war, or even more embarassingly, anti-Military, please don’t take it personally.  The only motivation is that we can’t control our emotions, and when we hear tragic News concerning young men and women, we just lose it, and want to either pull up stakes completely, or maybe wipe large areas off the map entirely.  We just don’t like the concept of “necessary sacrifice.”  Regardless, it could be seen by you as disrepectful, so if you do feel that way, we apologize.  We started out FOR the War, when we thought we were gonna win the way UCLA was beating Arizona, but when Luc sprained his ankle… well, you already know how we feel about casualties.   Obviously, we are clueless about the REAL WORLD (i.e. the Non-Sports World) and mean no harm. 

And if you’re still reading, we have one really stupid question for you:  Would you say it’s really lame if we cherish a photo of our Old Man from his COAST GUARD days (which were during or real close to a big war), where he’s manning this huge artillery/gun?  We understand that it isn’t The Few or The Proud, but is it even “part of the Military Brotherhood” for us to be proud of?  Do you guys hate them like we hate trojans, or maybe it’s a FRIENDLY Rivalry?  He says he once saved Noah Beery jr (Rockford’s TV Dad) from drowning (by not throwing him overboard?), but that might be the most life-threatening experience he had (as if it’s true at all!).

So — Should we just take down the photo and shut up about it?

See?  We told you it was a stupid question, and that we’re clueless.  We’ve just never had the ear of anyone whose opinion mattered to us before on this subject.  Thanks.


 Now, back to bidness… The business of Perfection.  Here are 14 more Spirit Photos from Saturday night.  Almost all of the feedback that we’ve seen about the new outfits has been positive.  Mantis, the resident Mr. Blackwell at BruinZone, is the dissenting opinion, as usual, and he makes some good points, but we agree with the majority, who seem to love the new threads.  Scroll down to further form your own opinion, and then let your fingers do the commenting.

Mantis complained that we liked the new Uniforms’ “wholesome” look - He needs to see the team in action.

Which is cooler — For a Girl to get to say her Man is a Marine, or for a Guy to get to say that his Girl is a UCLA Cheerleader?  It’s so close that, in honor of the Giants’ David, we’ll call it a a “Ty-ree.”

Maybe this one will win Mantis over  (God only knows why we care so much)

This is the wholesome ANTITHESIS of the Mustang Ranch “Procession.”  And don’t ask US who the VIP is — As usual we are clueless.  A former Cheerleader, perhaps?  A sideline announcer?  No idea.  Maybe someone will fill us in.

You know how a girl can seem cuter once you know how nice she is?  Well, what happens if she was already a 10 before you knew?

Surprisingly to us, one poster on BZ expressed his love for this bare-midriff Sweatpants ensemble.  Sure, they’re still hot, but, as you might have guessed, WE prefer other outfits, that are a little less fabric-intensive.

Were we the only ones expecting them to do a Laker Girl-style, sudden removal of the sweats?  And, can someone explain for another BZ poster, WHY, originally, and WHY, still, #21 jerseys?

When we were told (for real) that WE actually helped the Squad get new Dance Team and Mascot uniforms, it made us tear up, like we were watching the “We Are…  Marshall!” boardroom scene.

Attn: 29 Palms:  Please avert your eyes for a moment — [Okay, everone else:  Is this just the SWEETEST thing you ever saw?] — Okay guys, it’s safe again.

Does anyone really think that plastic yellow chain’s gonna stop us from breaking the Temporary Restraining Order?  (Just Kidding — They declined to press charges)

We could just gaze at this shot for hours.  “COULD?”  Who are we kidding now?

These girls could sell us used 2005 IRREGULAR calendars, in which 30 Days have September, April, June, and November… and January, and February, and March… oh, and December is missing completely.

Would you believe that they put on that “tablecloth” so we would stop taking pictures of their legs?  We just made that up, and we sincerely hope that it isn’t true.

And we leave you with one last Power Trio.  What a TRIUMPH!  And what a RUSH!


6 responses to “PRETTY PERFECT”

  1. Robert Carrillo Avatar
    Robert Carrillo

    Oh yes!! thank you for featuring Katie and Michelle in 12 of your shots. They are simply stunning, and how I thank God that they have 2 more years left. Thank God for these beauties!!! and thank you Mr Editor for finally taking notice of these God-gifts.

  2. JP Avatar

    LOOOOOOOOVE THESE GIRLS! They dominate any cheer/dance team in the nation.

  3. Josh Avatar

    Now that’s Perfection right there…. These are true beauties.

  4. UCLADal Avatar

    I sure like those white uniforms. I sure like our cheerleaders.

  5. Chuck Findley Avatar
    Chuck Findley

    Trojan Hater,
    If you are really the driving force behind the new white uniforms,then you are a true demigod, worthy of our adoration. As the thugs from SC slur, ” U de man dogg! ” You’ve earned your bust in the UCLA Hall of Fame! I’ll start a fund raising drive to have a hall or an edifice named after you. Trojan Hater Hall. TH Pavilion. Who in the Hell is Mantis?


    [Editor’s Note: “Mantis” is a long-time Bruin fan with detailed knowledge that goes back to the 40’s, but who is notorious for overemphasizing the importance of Uniforms in the grand scheme of Bruin Athletics. He is a frequent poster on the Bruin Zone Internet Message Boards, who has quite the wit, but too many complaints about which particular shade of blue was used for the shoulder piping on the Drill Team Uniforms in 1957. We showed him photos of the New Cheer Uni’s, just to impress him, and he still managed to find fault. We understand his complaints, but we don’t agree, so we were very disappointed. That’s why Lawyers are taught NOT to ask questions that they don’t already know the answers to.]

  6. Man i love reading your blog, interesting posts !…