Author: ucladavid
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BANANA CREAM PYRO
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Flinging these’ll Foster the Appeal of Fireworks for Bunches (and only a Monkey’s Uncle would Split before Dessert is Doled out) First comes “Blue & Gold.” But coming in a close Second is “Red, White, and Blue.” Sometimes you have to ask yourself: Are you a Bruin who just happens…
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AMERICA THE BEAUTIFUL — FROM SHE TO SHINING SHE
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What a Country! Happy 4th of July to Bruin-Americans Usually, when the word “Banner” appears on these pages, it’s referring to the imminent NCAA Championship Banner that Ben Howland is about to deliver to Westwood. But today, it also refers to Old Glory, as in the Star-Spangled variety of Banner. Today…
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FROM SOAK-Y TO OKIE: JUST CALL HIM “RUSTLE” WESTBROOK
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Westbrook Goin’ South: The Sonics are ‘bucking rain-soaked Seattle for booming Oklahoma City, where the fans (who tote shotguns, not shots of espresso) will really get a blast out of Westy’s thunderous and dust-clearing Sonic Booms Could you imagine if Jerry Buss moved the Lakers from Los Angeles? I don’t…
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FIG U SKATERS
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Oh, BOI! — Thanks to another frozen WITTness, Figueroa Tech’s Most KWANted is no longer on thin ice, and will probably go SCOTT free Quick — Someone get a shovel and dig up the 50-yard line in the Coliseum — You just might find the shallow grave of the latest…
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AREA 51 — ACCESS DENIED
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The Secret is Out: #51 Reggie Carter’s Restricted Zone will be the site of many more crash landings, so say The Watchers It’s no conspiracy: Area 51 is for real. UCLA fans already know that Linebacker Reggie Carter is the real deal, but now, the rest of the Country is…
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Attn: UCLA Football Fans — The Battle of L.A. CAN be Won without an Offense
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Dodgers are scared hit-less, but still win 1-0, on consecutive Errors by the Angels of Mercy It’s hard to win Baseball games when you go 19 straight innings without scoring, like the Los Angeles Angels currently have. It’s even harder to win a game without getting a base hit, but that’s…
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FAILURE TO YIELD TO L.A.’S FINEST
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(Bush-) Gate Crashers: Carroll crashes into a Cop car, while Garrett crashes trojans’ Viewing Party of UCLA Cheerleaders Only Pete Carroll could ram into a Police car, and have it be reported as the Police’s fault. Four days ago, Carroll was tooling down the Pacific Coast Highway in the fast…
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RAIN, SNOW, AND ALE
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Storm-addled Seattle will Ride the Westbrook Lightning; Frigid Minnesota doesn’t find Love Abominable; and Lager-wacky Milwaukee uses Draft to Tap Mbah a Moute to put the “oom pa pa” back into America’s Polka & Pilsner Town YouTube is one hell of an Agent. A few years ago, Russell Westbrook was a virtual unknown. Then…
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SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION
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Oooooh! Aaaaah! — There will be Fireworks on Opening Night, in the sky as well as on the sidelines, if not on the field, as Shell-shocked UCLA gets the bombshell that Sheller could be shelved. Are the Bruins being Punk’d? Just as they decide to light the punk — to set off…
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WILT, CHEER BERLIN
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Thousands conquer triple-digit heat to score free “Sex” in park performed live by really hot Nunn She can STILL “take your breath away.” Terri Nunn, for those of you who weren’t teenagers in the 80’s, was one of the hottest New Wave ROCKER chicks of the time, as the lead singer for “Berlin.” Like…
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OLSON’S SHINING MOMENT
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It’s been a Horror Story for Ben, up until this Omen: Olson Rings up spot on prestigious QB Watchlist, because Exorcists Neuheisel and Chow can Saw a Johnny Unitas out of “Johnny Bench” Chalk this one up to Norm Chow…. and save the chalk outline. UCLA’s hard-luck QB Ben Olson…
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ELISE UNLEASHED
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S.I. proves that they still have an eye for break-out talent, with their jinx-proof selection of UCLA’s Elise as their Cheerleader of the Week Cheryl Tiegs, Christie Brinkley, Paulina Porizkova, UCLA’s Brianna, and now UCLA’s Elise — Just a few of the legends in the Pantheon of Godesses immortalized by Sports Illustrated. As…