Month: December 2007

  • LEGALLY BLONDE

    Neuheisel takes the oath to follow the rules, and will try to keep Walker and add Chow;  If he does, he’ll go from Legally Blonde to Regally Blonde. New Bruin Football Coach Rick Neuheisel is scheduled to be introduced today at a Press Conference on campus.  The New Ruler will start…

  • BRUINS HIRE ‘HEIS FOR HIGHER HIGHS

    Historic Day… for UCLA:  In a bad omen for sc, Rick Neuheisel becomes Bruin Head Coach on same day that New England completes a perfect season WANTED:  Experienced Compliance Officer. The UCLA Football Bruins filled their Head Coaching vacancy yesterday, selecting Bruin grad and Rose Bowl MVP Rick Neuheisel.  Athletic Director Dan Guerrero wisely…

  • ANOTHER NAILED CARPENTER FAILS TO RESURRECT FOR HOLIDAY COMEBACK

    No Rudy Awakening:  Texas overcomes screw-up by Coach’s stepson, by hammering Carpenter and keeping him from becoming the Devils’ Savior in 52-34 Holiday Bowl Crucifixion The Texas Longhorns are no strangers to beating a Pac-10 team in a Bowl Game that contains a one-in-a-million lost-lateral play.  A couple of years ago,…

  • BE PATIENT

    Bruins fans have less “patients” than Mel Gibson Dream Gynecologist’s clinic in Tel Aviv Where’s the fire?  Why is everyone so up in arms about the duration of the search for the new UCLA Football Coach?  UCLA Athletic Director Dan Guerrero is taking a lot of heat for his handling…

  • PETE’S ON EARTH (WOULD KILL TO WIN); FLOYD TO THE WORLD (O.J. IS KING)

    Father Christmas, give us some money, don’t mess around with those silly toys — Wanna hear another Christmas CARROLL? Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all non-trojans.  On the occasion  of SC (Santa Claus) Day, we thought you would like to be serenaded by Figueroa Trade Tech’s Leaders of the…

  • IMMACULATE DEFLECTION

    BYU’s prayers are answered in Sin City when Forbath’s would-be Game-Winning Field Goal is partially blocked, preserving a 17-16 Las Vegas Bowl win and preventing a UCLA Miracle-Comeback-Doubleheader-Sweep Saturday VH-1 aired a 7-part Rockumentary this week, and the Heavy Metal section was titled “Never Say Die,” after the Black Sabbath…

  • NAUGHTY BELLOTTI DUCKS THE BRUINS, HARD

    Duck Coach decoys Oregon; Isn’t interested in UCLA job (He doesn’t know what he’s missing) Bellotti?  We think not-ty. We’re not calling out Mike Bellotti for screwing over UCLA and creating a new Pac-10 Rivalry, but it looks like Bellotti’s interest in coming to UCLA was greatly exaggerated.  Bellotti took…

  • UTAH LAYS WASTE TO NAVY

    1st Bowl is all that and a bag of chips, as Utes slip past chippy Shippies, 35-32 When it comes to Lay’s and Bowls, you can’t stop with just one.  And after last night’s nerve-assaulting thriller in San Diego, fans are hungering for more.   The Midshipmen of Navy felt at…

  • RICK-TEASER

    Is Rick Neuheisel about to start a “Neu” era at UCLA, or will Chancellor Block block his chance? Rick Neuheisel got a callback. According to several mainstream reports, Neuheisel became the first Bruin Head Coaching candidate to advance to the “Meet the Chancellor” stage of the process.  Last night, Neuheisel…

  • MAGICAL REINDEER

    Rain got you down?  Fawn over a dear or two (or eight) to sleigh your gloom and fly you away to a Winter Wonderland of White Dreams and Wet Snow Doe!   On the day that “The Simpsons Movie” is released on DVD, the rain is going to fall, making that…

  • BENGALS, SC “ACADEMICS,” AND BENGALS ARE LICKING THEIR WOUNDS THANKS TO COLLISON, FLAKE, AND PALMER

    Idaho St.’s lowly-touted Bengals can’t SLOW UP Darren Collison, who leads Bruins to 40-point win;  Troy can’t SHUT UP John David Booty, who flakes on practice to go to the L.B. Aquarium for “30% of his grade;” and Cinci can’t PUT UP with Carson Palmer, who loses to the lowly Niners,…