Pom Pom Pete and Prettyboy Pink — P’s on Earth, bad will to men

Father Christmas, give us some money, don’t mess around with those silly toys — Wanna hear another Christmas CARROLL?

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all non-trojans.  On the occasion  of SC (Santa Claus) Day, we thought you would like to be serenaded by Figueroa Trade Tech’s Leaders of the Naughty List.  So, here are the lyrics to “The 12 Days of Christmas,” and then a NEW rendition as should be sung by Pom Pom Pete, and then, a different one for Prettyboy Pink.  And, if you won’t read these TO THE RHYTHM OF THE TUNE, then don’t read them at all.

Here’s the original —

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me
Twelve drummers drumming,
Eleven pipers piping,
Ten lords a-leaping,
Nine ladies dancing,
Eight maids a-milking,
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.  

And Pom Pom’s Pigskin Version —

On the 12th Day of Christmas, Mike Garrett sent to me:
12 Drums of Steroids
11 Pipes for Crackheads
10 Lawyers Lying
9  Strippers Dancing
8 Maids for Milking
7 Swann-sperms Swimming
6 Leases Paid For
5 Gold Bent-leys
4 Call-In Girls
3 French Whores
2 Bloody Gloves
And a Partygirl, with a pair, free.

And Prettyboy Pink’s Hoops Version —

On the 12th Day of Christmas, My Garrett sent to me:
12 Drummers tone-deaf
11 Pipes for Mayo
Traci Lords a leaping
9 Lays Lapdancing
8 Maids (sc grads)
7 Kwanzaa Greetings
6 Lisa’s Spraying…
5 Golden Showers
4 Larry Birds
3 Frenched Men
2 Kevin Loves
And a car-tridge, of hol-low points.

No wonder Rudolf doesn’t fly low over their campus.



And if you ever wanted to know what HELL looked like…A good game, RUINED!!!!!  (They should be quarantined)



  1. Gary Willis Avatar
    Gary Willis

    During this time of “peace on earth and good will towards men”, you decied to post this. Very classy…
    Well, may God bless you and yours despite of your poor taste.

  2. t-h Avatar

    Dear GARY,

    We don’t want to be blessed by your God, or by Santa Claus, or by the Easter Bunny. Today is Tuesday, nothing more, nothing less. And if you have a problem with “poor taste,” why in the World would you come here? We have been exhibiting poor taste for four years — Why is this NEWS to you?

    Now shouldn’t you be in Church or something?

    Bah humbug,


    P.S. And may Hannukah Harry bless you, despite your poor spelling and grammar. SC grad?

  3. Father Mahoney Avatar
    Father Mahoney

    Dear t-h —

    I think George Carlin said it best:

    “When it comes to bullsh!t, big-time, major league bullsh!t, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. No contest. No contest. Religion. Religion easily has the greatest bullsh!t story ever told. Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there’s an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever ’til the end of time!

    But He loves you.

    He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He’s all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can’t handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, you talk about a good bullsh!t story. Holy Sh!t!”

    Merry Christmas,

    Father Mahoney