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The UCLA Spirit Squad sports pink pom poms to support Breast Cancer Awareness — color me aware

Many comedians and comedy writers say that anything can be joked about.  Even sickness, death, murder, rape, disabilities, genocide, The Holocaust, assassinations — ANYTHING.  Some people will be offended, but humor is a coping device that can actually help people deal with tragedy, psychologically and emotionally.  Laughter is the best medicine.  And at this web site, I try to make fun of everything I write about, so I generally try to avoid any subject that doesn’t lend itself to irreverent send-ups.  Case in point:  USC has been in trouble over the last few months for TRYING TO TALK CO-EDS OUT OF REPORTING SEXUAL ASSAULTS, and more recently, for the sleazy institutional practice of UNDER-REPORTING RAPES.  This is all disgusting behavior, that I would love for the whole World to know about.  To me, it epitomizes the lack of integrity that characterizes that University and the people who worship it.

However, I haven’t been able to bring myself to write an article about it, because I can’t figure out any way to make it funny… because there is nothing even remotely funny about it.  I certainly don’t want to trivialize Rape, or offend anyone who has been victimized.  Unlike jokes about the shooting of Abraham Lincoln, there is no “too soon?” rejoinder that can smooth it over.  So in all seriousness, if you know any females that are thinking about matriculating at the University of Southern California, make sure they know the apparently campus-wide “POLICY” of trying to coerce sexual assault victims to recant or drop the charges, and the widespread practice of NOT telling the Federal watchdogs about these crimes the way they are supposed to.  If that doesn’t make these girls think twice about attending usc, I don’t know what else we can do to help them.

Another subject I don’t care to joke about is Cancer, including Breast Cancer.  When I was a little kid, I heard someone on TV insult someone by saying they had “the personality of Cancer.”  Well, I thought that was a pretty good insult.  And I repeated the joke to a female friend of my Parents, while sharing my distaste for some guy whom I knew she didn’t like either.  What I DIDN’T know was that this woman had JUST lost her Mother to Cancer.  It was by far the most Offensive thing I have ever said, to anyone.  The experience has scarred me for life.  It happened 35 years ago, but I will never forget it.  I have never felt this bad about anything, ever.  So obviously, I don’t plan on making light of this disease ever again.

And that’s not all.  Soon after this incident, in an eerie and heinous case of karmic retribution, a close family member of mine was afflicted with Breast Cancer, and required surgery to keep her from dying, as the Cancer was spreading quickly beyond her breasts.  The surgery was successful, and she remains in remission to this day, but please believe that I take this condition very seriously, and support the pink pom pom crusade with all of my heart.

On a much, much, much lighter note, I want to congratulate Bruin Joe Fauria, for his remarkable THREE-TOUCHDOWN performance for the Detroit Lions on Sunday.  Fauria was not even selected in the NFL Draft, but signed afterwards with the Lions as a Free Agent.  And on Sunday, the back-up Tight End caught three passes, and ALL OF THEM WENT FOR TOUCHDOWNS.  Fauria helped the Lions erase a 10-point deficit on the road at Cleveland, to beat the Browns, who had won three straight games before Detroit and Fauria pulled off the 31-17 victory.  Fauria started the Lions’ scoring with his first catch, and clinched the victory with his third, which came with about two minutes left in the game.  Unfortunately, the Lions also have ex-trojan and disgraced cheater Reggie Bush on their roster, but Reggie scored only 6 points, while Fauria scored 18.

Fauria now has 5 TD’s this year, which is even one more than teammate Calvin “Megatron” Johnson, who is considered to be the best Receiver in the entire League.  And Johnson helped Fauria get the first of his 3 TD’s on Sunday, because on the previous play, Johnson dropped a 1-yard, SURE TD pass in the end zone, that hit him right in the hands.

Also, a shout-out to a few more Bruins in the NFL:  Maurice Jones-Drew is back from a serious injury, and actually scored a Touchdown on Sunday for Jacksonville.  The winless Jaguars shocked the Football world, by keeping the game close against undefeated Denver, before finally getting beaten.  But they did easily beat the 27-point spread, which is the largest pointspread in the modern era of the League.  On the other side of this battle was the Broncos’ Rahim Moore, who is playing well and is a big part of Denver’s success.   Not as big as Peyton Manning, but big nonetheless.  And another Bruin Defensive Back making an impact is Alterraun Verner, who a couple of weeks ago was the AFC’s Defensive Player of the Week, with two Interceptions and a Fumble Recovery in the Titans’ win over the Jets.  In 6 games this year, he has 4 INT’s and 2 Fumble Recoveries.  Finally, and most unexpectedly, Bruin Tight End Cory Harkey caught a Touchdown pass for the Rams on Sunday.  St. Louis killed the floundering Texans and ex-trojan Brian Cushing 38-13.  Harkey, who seemingly dropped more passes than he caught at UCLA, is the 4th string Tight End for the Rams, and he made a catch coming out of the backfield to start the Rams’ surprising scoring onslaught.

Cushing wasn’t the only trojan to lead his team to defeat on Sunday — QB’s Carson Palmer and Matt Cassell also made Coaches look for QB alternatives, as the Cards and Vikings lost again, while Robert Woods and Buffalo lost in Overtime to the Bengals.  If that karmic retribution was for real, every trojan would lose every game.

Now, back to pom poms.  Here are 40 more UCLA Cheerleader photos from the Cal game.  And don’t forget to be aware of Breast Cancer.