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Recent News from the Dark Side

  • IT’S NOT NICE TO HAVE MET-U

    The Nutcracker (Right in the Sugar Plums) — On a day when Pete Carroll’s Seahawks are eliminated before the Playoffs, Jack Del Rio is fired by the Raiders, and UCLA comes back from 14 down to beat the Huskies by 21, the most dramatic Rivalry news comes when trojan Chimezie Metu punches a Cougar in […]

  • SC SUCKS, 24-7 (…365)

    Cotton Bawl — Trojan fans are crying as their team totally chokes in the Cotton Bowl to Ohio State 24-7; SC managed to score only once, after a muff gifted them the ball at the Buckeye 15-yard line, otherwise, over-rated QB Sam Darnold committed 3 Turnovers including a Pick 6, and allowed himself to be […]

  • THE CHEAT GOES ON

    They will NOT turn this cheat around — Ex-trojan Football player Owen Hanson gets sentenced to 21 years in Federal Prison, after he laundered money, ran an illegal gambling ring, and sold millions of dollars of cocaine, heroin, meth and other drugs, including steroids and human growth hormones TO HIS TROJAN TEAMMATES; Meanwhile, Pete Carroll’s […]

  • “SICKENING” SCUMBAG SMITH-SCHUSTER SUSPENDED

    Bad Mojo for JuJu —  Ex-trojan JuJu Smith-Schuster shows his true colors when he illegally blindsides and concusses an opponent, then stands over him taunting him, right before the paramedics rush on the field to immobilize and cart off the seriously-injured victim, as TV announcer Jon Gruden calls the act “sickening” Trojans play dirty.  U$c […]

  • JUST SAY NO TO NORTON, AND GO FISH TO FISHER

    Traitor No’s — Rumors have UCLA considering turncoat Ken Norton, Jr. and trojan Jeff Fisher as potential Head Football Coaches.  If either of these repulsive choices is selected, I will immediately shut down this website and renounce my support of the UCLA Football Program Ken Norton, Jr. was an amazing Bruin Linebacker, and an even […]

  • CHIP FOR THE OLD BLOCK?

    Mora Tyranny — The Reign of Jim Mora is over, after an auspicious start and subsequent collapse, and his mid-November firing indicates the Bruins may be going after Chip Kelly, who may or may not meet the standards of UCLA Chancellor Gene Block In a shocking move in the aftermath of a tough loss to […]

  • INJUSTICE LEAGUE

    Holy Bat, man — Led by the Dynamic Duo of Rosen and Lasley (204 yards and 3 TD’s), UCLA out-plays, out-gains, and out-converts u$c, but gets a fumble recovery overturned, and a Touchdown and crucial 3rd down stop nullified, plus several passes BAT-ted down, so they end up caving 28-23 UCLA finally played a decent […]

  • REARRANGING KECK CHAIRS ON THE TITANIC

    (Tro-) Jan overboard! — New Dean (or Chairman, if you will) of u$c’s Keck Medical School, who replaced METH HEAD Dean Carmen Puliafito, resigns in shame after it is revealed that he has a history of sexual harassment (for which sc REWARDED him?) They sure can pick ’em, can’t they?  The institution with no integrity […]

  • USC HAS NO-FALK INSURANCE

    The Falk Is Our Star — What the Falk happened to the vaunted trojans??  #5 (not for long) u$c gets upset by Washington State 30-27, as Cougar QB Luke Falk totally outshines troy QB Sam Darnold, who fumbles the game away on the final drive For 3 hours, TV viewers had to listen to two […]

  • U$C: “OUR BLAND IS CRISIS”

    Bland on the Run — U$C Assistant Basketball Coach and “Elite Recruiter” Tony Bland is ARRESTED by the FBI for bribery, wire fraud, and paying players “Welcome to the party, pal!”  For all of you deniers and skeptics who have scoffed at me for the last 40 years as I have repeatedly insisted that USC […]

  • PIN CUSHING

    The bigger the Cushing the better the (drug) pushing — Ex-trojan and repeat offender Brian Cushing of the Houston Texans has been suspended from the NFL for the second time — this time for TEN games — for taking performance-enhancing drugs again [Note:  For legal reasons — This article is based on reported facts, but […]

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