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Recent News from the Dark Side

  • BALL THREE’S MAUL TREES

    “Hey you kids:  Get offa my Lonzo!”  — The sound of people criticizing Lonzo Ball’s unconventional shooting mechanics continues to fade, as he goes 4-for-5 from downtown and scores a team-high 21 points in UCLA’s 89-75 rout of Stanford Once again, UCLA blows out a Pac-12 opponent in the first half behind Lonzo Ball, T.J. […]

  • BENCH WARRANTED

    Full Nelson, Half Nelson, NO Nelson – Many ex-trojans have bench warrants issued for their arrests, but for former u$c Wide Receiver and current NFL Bust Nelson Agholor, his benching was warranted, because he has sucked so hard lately Can you say “over-rated?”  Ex-trojan Wide Receiver Nelson Agholor was selected by Philadelphia in the First […]

  • KENNEDY SHOT DOWN (L.A. 1PM)

    That didn’t take long — Less than 24 hours after the season dies, UCLA Offensive Coordinator (and ex-trojan) Kennedy Polamalu gets the ax (thank god) I guess I don’t have to boycott.  Ding dong, the witch is dead.  The worst Offensive Coordinator in UCLA history, who happens to be a former u$c trojan football player, […]

  • LONZO: FLOOR FUNKY; LEINART: CHORE MONKEY

    Me: Poor Junkie — I’m addicted to the Bruins and the Simpsons, so tonight I had split-screen simultaneous smiles, as Lonzo Ball led UCLA to a rout of Long Beach State while Matt Leinart appeared on The Simpsons as a “Chore Monkey,” poking fun at his own failure and at u$c “academics” It’s simply amazing […]

  • BLUE STATE

    Blue and Fold — Like most Blue-Staters, fans in Blue are feeling blue, as UCLA gets up 14-7 on two Fafaul-to-Lasley TD passes, then gives up 29 straight points while Polamalu’s Offense gets shut out for the final 42 minutes in a 36-14 landslide It looked good for 17 minutes.  The Bruins were up 14-7 […]

  • WINNER WINNER, CHICKEN SANDWICH

    A little chicken before next week — Randall Goforth’s game-clinching 40-yard Pick Six with 2:14 left breaks UCLA’s depressing 4-game losing streak, as the Bruins escape the Beaver trap 38-24, but 60,000+ fans were more excited by winning free Chick Fil-A (because UCLA blocked a kick), and by the Veterans Day parachute spectacle, while some […]

  • THE ANGRY DOTH PROTEST TOO MUCH, METHINKS

    Quiet the Riot in Hamlets across the Nation — While I totally understand the anger and respect the legitimate fear, I suspect that there may be more productive ways to express these feelings, and channel them against specific policies that may change Americans’ way of life  To protest, or not to protest – that is […]

  • SILVER LINING (NON-EXISTENT) PLAYBOOK

    Buff-plugged — Despite #15 Colorado TRYING to give the game away, this Rosen-less Bruin SUCKFEST keeps SUC out of first place in the Pac-12 South, thanks to a dozen (mostly stupid) penalties, a dropped TD pass, a dropped Interception, three botched Field Goals, two allowed massive Punt Returns (one for a game-turning 4th quarter TD), […]

  • “AMANDA AMBROSE TAUGHT ILLITERATE USC FOOTBALL PLAYERS HOW TO READ”

    Amanda Hug-n-kiss — Los Angeles Magazine reveals that U$C Football was recruiting and signing players that couldn’t read, as far back as the 70’s — more evidence that the trojans have never cared about NCAA rules Pick up a copy of the current (November 2016) issue of Los Angeles Magazine.  Assuming you are not a U$C […]

  • VIKINGS, WITH FOUR BRUINS, IN MINNIE DRIVER SEAT

    Speechless — Hard to believe, but without Adrian Peterson and Teddy Bridgewater, the Minnesota Vikings and their 4 Bruins are 5-and-0 — the ONLY undefeated team in the NFL The Minnesota Vikings, or “Minnie” as my gambling friends always call them (as in “I have Minnie minus seven”), now find themselves alone at the top […]

  • FOUR OF OURS ARE 4-AND-0

    Viking Trail — Almost every NFL team trails the 4-0 Vikings, the team with 4 Bruins including Linebackers Anthony Barr and Eric Kendricks, while the League’s ONLY winless team is Quarterbacked by ex-trojan Cody Kessler, whose 4th Quarter Interception on Sunday kept the Browns from finally winning a game The Minnesota Vikings have been ravaged […]

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