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Recent News from the Dark Side

  • THE ANGRY DOTH PROTEST TOO MUCH, METHINKS

    Quiet the Riot in Hamlets across the Nation — While I totally understand the anger and respect the legitimate fear, I suspect that there may be more productive ways to express these feelings, and channel them against specific policies that may change Americans’ way of life  To protest, or not to protest – that is […]

  • SILVER LINING (NON-EXISTENT) PLAYBOOK

    Buff-plugged — Despite #15 Colorado TRYING to give the game away, this Rosen-less Bruin SUCKFEST keeps SUC out of first place in the Pac-12 South, thanks to a dozen (mostly stupid) penalties, a dropped TD pass, a dropped Interception, three botched Field Goals, two allowed massive Punt Returns (one for a game-turning 4th quarter TD), […]

  • “AMANDA AMBROSE TAUGHT ILLITERATE USC FOOTBALL PLAYERS HOW TO READ”

    Amanda Hug-n-kiss — Los Angeles Magazine reveals that U$C Football was recruiting and signing players that couldn’t read, as far back as the 70’s — more evidence that the trojans have never cared about NCAA rules Pick up a copy of the current (November 2016) issue of Los Angeles Magazine.  Assuming you are not a U$C […]

  • VIKINGS, WITH FOUR BRUINS, IN MINNIE DRIVER SEAT

    Speechless — Hard to believe, but without Adrian Peterson and Teddy Bridgewater, the Minnesota Vikings and their 4 Bruins are 5-and-0 — the ONLY undefeated team in the NFL The Minnesota Vikings, or “Minnie” as my gambling friends always call them (as in “I have Minnie minus seven”), now find themselves alone at the top […]

  • FOUR OF OURS ARE 4-AND-0

    Viking Trail — Almost every NFL team trails the 4-0 Vikings, the team with 4 Bruins including Linebackers Anthony Barr and Eric Kendricks, while the League’s ONLY winless team is Quarterbacked by ex-trojan Cody Kessler, whose 4th Quarter Interception on Sunday kept the Browns from finally winning a game The Minnesota Vikings have been ravaged […]

  • TROJANS FLEECE THE POLICE

    Swann Stiffs Boys in Blue — A Los Angeles Police organization is threatening to take action because the on-duty Cops that keep the Coliseum slightly safer than the surrounding South Central environment on trojan game days are NOT GETTING PAID For years the trojans have been claiming that they own the Police.  As so many […]

  • KESSLER’S A MESS, PALMER’S APPALLING

    Bad start, worse ending — Ex-trojan QB’s Cody Kessler and Carson Palmer both lead their teams to losses on Sunday, as Kessler chokes comically in his very first series as a Pro, and Palmer throws FOUR straight Interceptions in the 4th Quarter Rookie QB from u$c Cody Kessler started this season as the THIRD STRING […]

  • THE CLOWN SHOE WHEELS FALL OFF THE CLOWN CAR CART

    Finding Adoree — U$c blows a 14-point Second Half lead, as Utah scores with 16 seconds left on a TD pass that beats former Heisman candidate Adoree Jackson, who loses a shoe and blows the coverage;  The trojans are now 1-and-3, after this 31-27 heartbreaking, backbreaking and hilarious loss Until tonight, u$c had won 84 […]

  • IF YOU AREN’T CHEATING, YOU AREN’T PETE CARROLL

    Once a SCumbag… — Pete Carroll gets busted by the NFL for cheating, AGAIN, as the Seahawks will lose a draft pick, a week of practice, and pay a $400,000 fine, and Carroll himself will have to cough up another $200,000 personally, after he tried to gain a competitive advantage while risking the health of […]

  • UCLA BUILDS DE-FENSE AND MAKES BYU PAY FOR IT

    Great Again –Bruins cross the borders into Utah and torture BYU 17-14, as their surprisingly stifling Defense led by Jayon Brown and Adarius Pickett comes up yuuuge and trumps Hill and the Cougars’ Offense in a landslide September Surprise:  The Bruins have a Defense.  With many key components back from injury, and with a solid […]

  • EX-TROJAN POLICE BLOTTER FEED BLOWING UP

    T.J. = To Jail? — Former trojan Defensive Back T.J. McDonald, who was arrested in May for crashing into a parked car, was formally charged yesterday, for driving under the influence of drugs, and faces up to 6 months of incarceration McDonald, Clown College… If you’re wondering why I didn’t incorporate that “name irony” into […]

  • LOGGIN’ MASINA

    Highway to the Danger Zone — Trojan Linebacker Osa Masina was arrested yesterday on THREE FELONY charges:  One count of RAPE, and two counts of FORCIBLE SODOMY;  He now faces life imprisonment, where he may just develop some serious empathy for his alleged victim [WARNING – WARNING – WARNING:  This article contains graphic, disgusting details […]

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