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Recent News from the Dark Side

  • TROJANS FLEECE THE POLICE

    Swann Stiffs Boys in Blue — A Los Angeles Police organization is threatening to take action because the on-duty Cops that keep the Coliseum slightly safer than the surrounding South Central environment on trojan game days are NOT GETTING PAID For years the trojans have been claiming that they own the Police.  As so many […]

  • KESSLER’S A MESS, PALMER’S APPALLING

    Bad start, worse ending — Ex-trojan QB’s Cody Kessler and Carson Palmer both lead their teams to losses on Sunday, as Kessler chokes comically in his very first series as a Pro, and Palmer throws FOUR straight Interceptions in the 4th Quarter Rookie QB from u$c Cody Kessler started this season as the THIRD STRING […]

  • THE CLOWN SHOE WHEELS FALL OFF THE CLOWN CAR CART

    Finding Adoree — U$c blows a 14-point Second Half lead, as Utah scores with 16 seconds left on a TD pass that beats former Heisman candidate Adoree Jackson, who loses a shoe and blows the coverage;  The trojans are now 1-and-3, after this 31-27 heartbreaking, backbreaking and hilarious loss Until tonight, u$c had won 84 […]

  • IF YOU AREN’T CHEATING, YOU AREN’T PETE CARROLL

    Once a SCumbag… — Pete Carroll gets busted by the NFL for cheating, AGAIN, as the Seahawks will lose a draft pick, a week of practice, and pay a $400,000 fine, and Carroll himself will have to cough up another $200,000 personally, after he tried to gain a competitive advantage while risking the health of […]

  • UCLA BUILDS DE-FENSE AND MAKES BYU PAY FOR IT

    Great Again –Bruins cross the borders into Utah and torture BYU 17-14, as their surprisingly stifling Defense led by Jayon Brown and Adarius Pickett comes up yuuuge and trumps Hill and the Cougars’ Offense in a landslide September Surprise:  The Bruins have a Defense.  With many key components back from injury, and with a solid […]

  • EX-TROJAN POLICE BLOTTER FEED BLOWING UP

    T.J. = To Jail? — Former trojan Defensive Back T.J. McDonald, who was arrested in May for crashing into a parked car, was formally charged yesterday, for driving under the influence of drugs, and faces up to 6 months of incarceration McDonald, Clown College… If you’re wondering why I didn’t incorporate that “name irony” into […]

  • LOGGIN’ MASINA

    Highway to the Danger Zone — Trojan Linebacker Osa Masina was arrested yesterday on THREE FELONY charges:  One count of RAPE, and two counts of FORCIBLE SODOMY;  He now faces life imprisonment, where he may just develop some serious empathy for his alleged victim [WARNING – WARNING – WARNING:  This article contains graphic, disgusting details […]

  • VEGAS OY-VEY-CATION

      No such thing as a sure thing — In a game that was supposed to be easy, 26-point favorite UCLA is taken to the limit by Vegas, who had the ball in the 4th quarter with a chance to tie, before two late Bruin Touchdowns make them fold For the second week in a […]

  • “ALLEGED” RAPISTS AND “CONVICTED” CROTCH-STOMPER BARELY DISCIPLINED BY U$C

    U.S.C = University of Sexual Culprits… OR… University of Scrotum Crushers? Either way, u$c has been recruiting and cultivating reprehensible thugs for decades, and this week provides proof of that assertion.  Three of their current Football players are in trouble for sexual assaults, and virtually nothing is being done about it.  The trojan machine is […]

  • HURTS DONUT

    Love Hurts — After a hairy start that saw u$c up 3-0 on Alabama after one quarter, the Tide, behind Freshman QB Jalen Hurts and a stiffening defense, started to roll, and after a trojan got ejected for purposely stomping on a Bama player’s dingus, the Crimson Tide became the REAL ballbusters, erecting a 38-point run, […]

  • RUFFIN THE DICK

    Scumbag Trojan Linebacker Jabari Ruffin gets ejected for intentionally stomping on an opponent’s penis It’s still the first half of the u$c-Alabama game, and the trojans are now missing THREE players.  Two of them were suspended due to accusations that they drugged, raped, and sodomized a girl, and then sent video of the incident to […]

  • MO MAS! NO MAS!

    Osa Double Dose-a — Due to two (count ’em, TWO) separate investigations of SEXUAL ASSAULT [rape, forcible sodomy, fondling and “exploitation by telecom.”] in two different states, trojan Linebacker Osa Masina has been suspended for sc’s season opener against Alabama Innocent until proven guilty.  That’s what I always say.  But it may be reasonable to […]

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