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Recent News from the Dark Side

  • DON’T HAVE A COWLINGS, MAN!

    Ay CAR-amaba!  And that car is a White Ford Bronco — Thanks to a $15 Million “anonymous” donation, u$c has named a residential building on campus after the trojan who was charged with a felony for aiding fugitive O.J. Simpson after the infamous double murders [I know this is an older story, which was first […]

  • U$C’S JOKE OF A MARCHING BAN

    The Meth Head and the Murderer — U$C finally bars double-murderer O.J. Simpson and (alleged) Hooker-loving Meth Addict Carmen Puliafito from official events, after decades of overlooking all their criminal acts, but, O.J.’s giant ceremonial jersey and Heisman will continue to be glorified The hypocrisy and denial of the so-called “University” of Southern Cal knows […]

  • (cardinal and) GOLD McDONALD HAD A PHARM–

    8-game suspension?  E-I-E-Oh-no! — Former trojan T.J. McDonald is suspended by the NFL for the first half of the 2017 season, due to his driving while wasted on drugs and crashing into another car It’s been a while since a former trojan has made headlines with criminal behavior — quite a rare cold spell.  But […]

  • BALL SAYS NO CINCHY NATTY FOR CINCINNATI

    Ball is MVP of Sac. — At halftime in Sacramento, up by 3 over trendy Final Four pick UCLA, Cincinnati might have been having visions of an easy “Natty” (National Championship); Then came Lonzo Ball-bearing down on the Bearcats, as the Bruins rolled a ‘nati on a roll to a Natty of their own, 79-67 […]

  • THE CHOKERS AND THE LEAF

    It’s NOT Cardinal Sin City — The Cardinal & Gold choke away several chances to catch the Blue & Gold at the end, as Hamilton shoots down the trojans with his 22, with Leaf’s 10 in the second half helping the Bruins win the duel in Las Vegas, 76-74  The UCLA Bruins came THIS close […]

  • ALFORD ONE AND ONE FOR ALL

    White Chuck-a-lot — The 8 Bruin Musketeers slice up the Mickey Mousc-keteers 102-70, as ALL the Bruins play well, led by Bryce Alford finding his sweet spot for 26 Points, Thomas Welsh pouring it on with 16 and 16, and T.J. Leaf stirring in 19 and 8; Of course the Willy Wonka of it all […]

  • SHOULDA NEVER GIVEN THE KEYS TO SARKISIAN

    Don’t take the car, you’ll kill yourself! — Alabama Offensive Coordinator, Play-caller, and former alcoholic u$c Head Coach Steve Sarkisian blows Alabama’s 14-point lead by failing to convert the Crimson Tide’s LAST TWELVE 3rd Down attempts, as Clemson overcomes a late double-digit deficit to win the National Championship on a Touchdown with 1 second left, […]

  • BALL THREE’S MAUL TREES

    “Hey you kids:  Get offa my Lonzo!”  — The sound of people criticizing Lonzo Ball’s unconventional shooting mechanics continues to fade, as he goes 4-for-5 from downtown and scores a team-high 21 points in UCLA’s 89-75 rout of Stanford Once again, UCLA blows out a Pac-12 opponent in the first half behind Lonzo Ball, T.J. […]

  • BENCH WARRANTED

    Full Nelson, Half Nelson, NO Nelson – Many ex-trojans have bench warrants issued for their arrests, but for former u$c Wide Receiver and current NFL Bust Nelson Agholor, his benching was warranted, because he has sucked so hard lately Can you say “over-rated?”  Ex-trojan Wide Receiver Nelson Agholor was selected by Philadelphia in the First […]

  • KENNEDY SHOT DOWN (L.A. 1PM)

    That didn’t take long — Less than 24 hours after the season dies, UCLA Offensive Coordinator (and ex-trojan) Kennedy Polamalu gets the ax (thank god) I guess I don’t have to boycott.  Ding dong, the witch is dead.  The worst Offensive Coordinator in UCLA history, who happens to be a former u$c trojan football player, […]

  • LONZO: FLOOR FUNKY; LEINART: CHORE MONKEY

    Me: Poor Junkie — I’m addicted to the Bruins and the Simpsons, so tonight I had split-screen simultaneous smiles, as Lonzo Ball led UCLA to a rout of Long Beach State while Matt Leinart appeared on The Simpsons as a “Chore Monkey,” poking fun at his own failure and at u$c “academics” It’s simply amazing […]

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