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Recent News from the Dark Side

  • REARRANGING KECK CHAIRS ON THE TITANIC

    (Tro-) Jan overboard! — New Dean (or Chairman, if you will) of u$c’s Keck Medical School, who replaced METH HEAD Dean Carmen Puliafito, resigns in shame after it is revealed that he has a history of sexual harassment (for which sc REWARDED him?) They sure can pick ’em, can’t they?  The institution with no integrity […]

  • USC HAS NO-FALK INSURANCE

    The Falk Is Our Star — What the Falk happened to the vaunted trojans??  #5 (not for long) u$c gets upset by Washington State 30-27, as Cougar QB Luke Falk totally outshines troy QB Sam Darnold, who fumbles the game away on the final drive For 3 hours, TV viewers had to listen to two […]

  • U$C: “OUR BLAND IS CRISIS”

    Bland on the Run — U$C Assistant Basketball Coach and “Elite Recruiter” Tony Bland is ARRESTED by the FBI for bribery, wire fraud, and paying players “Welcome to the party, pal!”  For all of you deniers and skeptics who have scoffed at me for the last 40 years as I have repeatedly insisted that USC […]

  • PIN CUSHING

    The bigger the Cushing the better the (drug) pushing — Ex-trojan and repeat offender Brian Cushing of the Houston Texans has been suspended from the NFL for the second time — this time for TEN games — for taking performance-enhancing drugs again [Note:  For legal reasons — This article is based on reported facts, but […]

  • IN THE HEAT OF DENY

    We’ve got Spear-it — u$c will ADMIT any millionaire, but can’t ADMIT any mistakes, denying that the statue of Shakespeare they commissioned and unveiled has his name spelled incorrectly, while also denying that their mascot Traveler is named after the horse of Confederate degenerate General Robert E. Lee When President-for-now Trump commended people who marched […]

  • DON’T HAVE A COWLINGS, MAN!

    Ay CAR-amaba!  And that car is a White Ford Bronco — Thanks to a $15 Million “anonymous” donation, u$c has named a residential building on campus after the trojan who was charged with a felony for aiding fugitive O.J. Simpson after the infamous double murders [I know this is an older story, which was first […]

  • U$C’S JOKE OF A MARCHING BAN

    The Meth Head and the Murderer — U$C finally bars double-murderer O.J. Simpson and (alleged) Hooker-loving Meth Addict Carmen Puliafito from official events, after decades of overlooking all their criminal acts, but, O.J.’s giant ceremonial jersey and Heisman will continue to be glorified The hypocrisy and denial of the so-called “University” of Southern Cal knows […]

  • (cardinal and) GOLD McDONALD HAD A PHARM–

    8-game suspension?  E-I-E-Oh-no! — Former trojan T.J. McDonald is suspended by the NFL for the first half of the 2017 season, due to his driving while wasted on drugs and crashing into another car It’s been a while since a former trojan has made headlines with criminal behavior — quite a rare cold spell.  But […]

  • BALL SAYS NO CINCHY NATTY FOR CINCINNATI

    Ball is MVP of Sac. — At halftime in Sacramento, up by 3 over trendy Final Four pick UCLA, Cincinnati might have been having visions of an easy “Natty” (National Championship); Then came Lonzo Ball-bearing down on the Bearcats, as the Bruins rolled a ‘nati on a roll to a Natty of their own, 79-67 […]

  • THE CHOKERS AND THE LEAF

    It’s NOT Cardinal Sin City — The Cardinal & Gold choke away several chances to catch the Blue & Gold at the end, as Hamilton shoots down the trojans with his 22, with Leaf’s 10 in the second half helping the Bruins win the duel in Las Vegas, 76-74  The UCLA Bruins came THIS close […]

  • ALFORD ONE AND ONE FOR ALL

    White Chuck-a-lot — The 8 Bruin Musketeers slice up the Mickey Mousc-keteers 102-70, as ALL the Bruins play well, led by Bryce Alford finding his sweet spot for 26 Points, Thomas Welsh pouring it on with 16 and 16, and T.J. Leaf stirring in 19 and 8; Of course the Willy Wonka of it all […]

  • SHOULDA NEVER GIVEN THE KEYS TO SARKISIAN

    Don’t take the car, you’ll kill yourself! — Alabama Offensive Coordinator, Play-caller, and former alcoholic u$c Head Coach Steve Sarkisian blows Alabama’s 14-point lead by failing to convert the Crimson Tide’s LAST TWELVE 3rd Down attempts, as Clemson overcomes a late double-digit deficit to win the National Championship on a Touchdown with 1 second left, […]

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