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Recent News from the Dark Side

  • CLAY IT AGAIN, SHAM!

    Here’s looking at U($c), kid — I’m shocked, SHOCKED, that Lynn Swann, a sham of an Athletic Director, announced that u$c, a sham of a University, will bogart Clay Helton, a sham of a Football Coach, for another year, instead of rounding up the usual suspects I hope this is the beginning of a beautiful […]

  • ELEVENTH SOUR

    Turn it up to 11 — UCLA comes back from 14 down to take a 4th quarter lead but can’t hold on as they lose to Stanford for the 11th straight time, 49-42.  Meanwhile, u$c blows a double-digit lead against Notre Dame, gives up 24 straight points, and goes down 24-17, to end their season […]

  • A ‘BOWL FULL OF KELLEY

    Ho, ho, ho — Chip Kelly unwraps Joshua Kelley against the trojans at the Rose Bowl, gifting him 40 carries, and Kelley tears into it like a kid on Christmas, gaining a career-high 289 yards including a career-best 61-yard run, and scoring 2 TD’s including the game-winning 55-yarder, as UCLA celebrates an upset over u$c […]

  • CONTENTIOUS TROJANS KNOCK THEMSELVES OUT OF CONTENTION

    Marshall Illin’ — u$c chokes away a 14-0 second half lead, losing to Cal for the first time in 15 years, thanks to Iman Marshall’s penalty for jawing at the Bear sidelines, costing troy the ball with 3:28 left in a 15-14 game Trojans just don’t know when to keep their mouths shut.  Or maybe […]

  • ROSEN MAKES NINERS FLATLINERS

    Bruin QB Josh Rosen leads Arizona back from a 12-point 4th Quarter deficit against San Francisco, with 2 TD passes, including the game-winner with 34 seconds left, to lift the Cardinals to an 18-15 victory Usually, on a weekend when u$c loses a football game, THAT would be the news I publicize.  But this year, […]

  • DIS-GUSTIN

    Trojans escape justice — A vicious helmet-to-helmet targeting by Porter Gustin goes uncalled, allowing u$c to block a Field Goal and eke out a 39-36 win over WSU Trojan Linebacker Porter Gustin is just coming off a suspension for spearing someone last week.  An hour later, he’s at it again, leading with his helmet, right […]

  • CHIPWRECKED

    A three- hour horror, a three-hour horror — UCLA’s new Skipper Chip Kelly should forfeit his salary, because his first three games — all horrible losses — mark the worst start for the Bruins in recent memory, after Saturday night’s 38-14 Bulldog drubbing Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, a tale of […]

  • THINGS GET STORMY FOR DANIELS

    Happy ending trumps loss — Hours after the Bruins get spanked in Norman, Stormin’ Stanford dominates u$c, molesting trojan QB J.T. Daniels into a Fumble and 2 Interceptions while holding sc to only 3 points in a 17-3 pounding There’s no better way to get over a Bruin loss than with a trojan loss that […]

  • COHEN GOT THE JUICE

    Celebrated murderer celebrates murder — Sacha Baron Cohen takes a stab at O.J. Simpson on Showtime’s “Who is America?” TV show, duping him into actually GIVING A HIGH FIVE over the idea of wife-killing With everything going on in Washington D.C. right now, you may think this headline has to do with former Trump Fixer […]

  • JUST IN THE NICK OF CRIME

    Swaggering to jail – Ex-trojan Nick “Swaggy P” Young gets arrested for Obstruction of Justice after defying Police during a traffic stop You already knew that former trojan Basketball hero Nick Young, aka “Swaggy P,” wasn’t playing with a full deck, after lighting a firework and letting it go off while still holding it in […]

  • PASSIONS EVOKED, LICENSE REVOKED

    Just ‘Cause — Today starts a tidal wave of Cheer photos from the 11/24/17 Cal game, as we celebrate the disgraced former u$c Dean of Medicine being stripped of his license to practice medicine The medical patients of California just caught a huge break:  In 30 days, Dr. Carmen Puliafito will no longer be allowed […]

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