Month: August 2010
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WRITE BETWEEN THE EYES
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Write On! Football Writers right a wrong by erasing from History usc’s ’04 Grantland Rice Trophy, and Matt Leinart may BE History, after getting written off as the Starter in Arizona (for this week, at least) Call it “Writer’s Block.” The Football Writers Association of America is blocking usc from…
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CROCK U. LIKES A HURRICANE
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There’s No One Like U.S.C.: Trojans Can’t Get Enough of ‘Cane reject WR, despite his alleged SERIES of rule violations, including repeatedly blowing off classes, and Pat Haden Can’t Explain what happened to the Winds of Change at his Zoo Where do you go when you are too squirrely for the…
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CATCHMAKER, CATCHMAKER, CATCH ME A CATCH
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SOME RISE, SOME SIT: Despite Prince and Fauria being out injured and Kai Maiava breaking his ankle on the third play, the Bruins catch 4 Touchdown Passes and the attention of 5,500, as a new Tradition of Big Plays is about to raise the Roof at UCLA Playmakers. It takes Playmakers…
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POUNDED, GROUNDED, AND ASTOUNDED
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The NFL crushes Brian Cushing’s Appeal, Lane Kiffin puts Dillon Baxter on the No-Fly List for Hawaii, and Pete Carroll stuns Lawrence Jackson by shipping him off… to Detroit De-NIED… x 3. This week, three different football trojans got bad news, like three slaps in the face: Two because of…
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YOU CAN TAKE THE DOG OUT OF THE FIGHT, BUT YOU CAN’T TAKE THE FIGHT OUT OF THE DOG-FIGHTER
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Heel! — Disgraced ex-trojan Asst. Coach Todd McNair, who once got busted for dog-fighting, refuses to roll over and play dead, as he appeals the NCAA ruling against him The NCAA should reconsider the TV Ban for usc, just because the trojans are showing absolutely NO REMORSE. Yesterday, yet another trojan refused to accept…
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Bush would give back his Heisman IF HE COULD??
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Attention Reggie: YOU CAN!! Just call a Press Conference, admit that you are Guilty, and lateral the trophy to Vince Young According to Pat Haden, a “contrite” Reggie Bush called Haden and said that he feels bad, he wishes he could turn the clock back, and he’d give the Heisman back…
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TROJAN PRETTY-BOYS ARE NOT VIABLE FANTASY OPTIONS
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Put ’em on a calendar, but not on your Fantasy Football team: The experts agree — While Bruin Jones-Drew is a Universal Top 3 pick, ex-trojans Sanchez, Leinart, Bush and the rest are hardly worth drafting Quantity, yes. Quality, no. usc has a ton of players in the NFL right…
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EVERY TROJAN MUST GET STONED
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Tangled up in green: DILLON Baxter gets Suspended by usc Football, allegedly for getting stoned, while another suspected Stoner, Taylor King, gets revived from Suspended Animation by usc Basketball The times, they aren’t a-changin’ — usc still stands for University of Substances, Controlled. And this whole SCandal may be gone…
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A (MARV)RAY OF SUNSHINE, AND AN OPEN BARR, TOO
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After some gloomy years that could drive you to drinking, a few brights stars emerge who can really light it up, and quench your thirst for big plays Cheers! And Bottoms Up. But instead of drinking to drown your sorrows, we are now toasting in celebration — Because the Bruins may just score some…
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LANE-DROPS KEEP FALLING ON MY HEAD
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Un-suspended Animation: Kiffin lifts Havili’s suspension after just ONE DAY (because it’s not raining Fullbacks at usc) Another trOJan thug gets away scot free after an attack of physical violence. Describing this as “lenient” would be an understatement — so let’s call it “Laneient.” All ALLEGEDLY>>> Last week, 5th-year Senior…
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HOSTESS-GATE SNO-BALLS!
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Ho, Ho: The next Ding Dong you hear may be the NCAA coming for Lane Kiffin, who should use the Twinkie Defense to avoid letting the Tennessee Hostess Scandal be the icing on his Cupcake Lane Kiffin is not a Twinkie. The shelf-life of a Twinkie is 1000 years, but…
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STEELY STAN HAVILI GETS TOO TOUCHY-FEELY
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Trojan Freak Breaks Teammate’s Cheek: SC Fullback Stanley Havili has a 5th-year Senior Moment, when he gets in a fight with Cornerback T.J. Bryant, and breaks his face Could it be ‘Roid Rage? Could it be Depression due to Sanctions? Could it be Sheer Stupidity? Or was it a Perfect…