Month: June 2008
-
Attn: UCLA Football Fans — The Battle of L.A. CAN be Won without an Offense
•
Dodgers are scared hit-less, but still win 1-0, on consecutive Errors by the Angels of Mercy It’s hard to win Baseball games when you go 19 straight innings without scoring, like the Los Angeles Angels currently have. It’s even harder to win a game without getting a base hit, but that’s…
-
FAILURE TO YIELD TO L.A.’S FINEST
•
(Bush-) Gate Crashers: Carroll crashes into a Cop car, while Garrett crashes trojans’ Viewing Party of UCLA Cheerleaders Only Pete Carroll could ram into a Police car, and have it be reported as the Police’s fault. Four days ago, Carroll was tooling down the Pacific Coast Highway in the fast…
-
RAIN, SNOW, AND ALE
•
Storm-addled Seattle will Ride the Westbrook Lightning; Frigid Minnesota doesn’t find Love Abominable; and Lager-wacky Milwaukee uses Draft to Tap Mbah a Moute to put the “oom pa pa” back into America’s Polka & Pilsner Town YouTube is one hell of an Agent. A few years ago, Russell Westbrook was a virtual unknown. Then…
-
SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION
•
Oooooh! Aaaaah! — There will be Fireworks on Opening Night, in the sky as well as on the sidelines, if not on the field, as Shell-shocked UCLA gets the bombshell that Sheller could be shelved. Are the Bruins being Punk’d? Just as they decide to light the punk — to set off…
-
WILT, CHEER BERLIN
•
Thousands conquer triple-digit heat to score free “Sex” in park performed live by really hot Nunn She can STILL “take your breath away.” Terri Nunn, for those of you who weren’t teenagers in the 80’s, was one of the hottest New Wave ROCKER chicks of the time, as the lead singer for “Berlin.” Like…
-
OLSON’S SHINING MOMENT
•
It’s been a Horror Story for Ben, up until this Omen: Olson Rings up spot on prestigious QB Watchlist, because Exorcists Neuheisel and Chow can Saw a Johnny Unitas out of “Johnny Bench” Chalk this one up to Norm Chow…. and save the chalk outline. UCLA’s hard-luck QB Ben Olson…
-
ELISE UNLEASHED
•
S.I. proves that they still have an eye for break-out talent, with their jinx-proof selection of UCLA’s Elise as their Cheerleader of the Week Cheryl Tiegs, Christie Brinkley, Paulina Porizkova, UCLA’s Brianna, and now UCLA’s Elise — Just a few of the legends in the Pantheon of Godesses immortalized by Sports Illustrated. As…
-
AFLACking for Nothing…
•
… except #1 Billing (but they’re still pretty Duckin’ hot) Sometimes finishing second can be depressing. Just ask the Lakers. Before the season, the Lakers were expected to barely make the Playoffs, and then peter out again with an early exit. And that’s IF Kobe stayed and played. Then came the…
-
BOSTON SUCKS (CHAMPAGNE)
•
L.A. Phil-anthropists: Lakers generously donate Game 6 to un-taxed Celtics with 19 Turnovers (and it was written off at Halftime) De-cay on the Parquet. Just like Rocco Mediate, the Lakers missed the fairway on the most important shot. L.A. suddenly forgot how to take care of the ball, and how to…
-
MBAH HUMBUG!
•
Luc’s a Ghost (of Final Fours Past): Why in the Dickens would Mbah a Moute make his NBA Future his Present, when, without a guarantee, he could get Scrooged? Luc-haters got an early Christmas gift yesterday, when the player that they think is an instant turnover left his name in…
-
CAPTAIN CRUNCHTIME
•
With Farmar at the helm for the entire 4th Quarter, L.A. avoids another Titanic shipwreck and drydocks Boston’s parade floats Pierce and Posey’s Posse Party was pre-emptively put on hold for at least a couple of days, as the Lakers overcame another huge collapse to take Game 5 103-98, and send…
-
CAPTAINS CRUNCH
•
The Totals are in: Chex in the boxes of Paulsen and Harwell will have the two Life-time Wheaties-eaters milking the serial killer instinct out of the Bruins, to make opponents snap, crackle, & pop, and to turn trojan Fruit Loops into Shredded Wheat The 2008 UCLA Football team is off to a Smart Start, because…