Month: June 2008

  • OLD-TIMERS SCOLD TIMES’ SIMERS

    With support of “Scully,” “Wooden” teaches T.J. Simers a thing or two about disrespect Even when T.J. Simers is doing something nice for charity, he still can make people hate him. Last night at the Nokia Theater in Downtown L.A., the L.A. Times Columnist T.J. Simers “moderated” a discussion with…

  • FRIG-O-RAMA ON FIGUEROA

    Mayo/Fig. Tech probe deepens, like hole Lakers are in after blowing 24-point lead in Game 4 to go down to Celtics 1-3 in Finals (Virgin Territory for an eventual NBA Champ) Figueroa Constrictor — And the noose tightens…  Usc and the Lakers have both just screwed themselves, because of complacency. Southern Cal is embroiled in a multi-agency…

  • BLOCK HISTORY MONTH

    It’s a Block thing:  To Immovable Object Jonathan Ogden, Retirement is an Irresistible Force, after personally pancaking “Left Tackle” into a big-money NFL glamour position The sun will come out, tomorrow… …because the guy who has been blocking out the Sun — and everything under the Sun — for the last…

  • FLYING SASHA CONTAINS BELITTLED GREEN MEN

    The breathtaking Vu is out of this World:  (Legal) Alien Sasha Vujacic floats in 20 and takes One Giant Shot for Laker-kind, Celtic Stars are Marooned, and Phil Jackson Phones Home to get NINE points from Bruins to win SIX-point Close Encounter of the Third Game with Brittle Green Men from…

  • POWE SMOKERS

    Paulie & the Powe-boys lay down 31 dimes to take Credence from the Lakers’ Record Revival, and take a 2-0 choke-hold on Finals Too LA-git to quit. Sure, the Lakers lost Game 2 in Boston 108-102 to fall behind 0-2 in the Series… but it is the Lakers who carry momentum back to Los…

  • FLY-BY OVER THE ‘HOOD

    It’s not ALWAYS about beautiful girls;  Sometimes it’s about cool cars Despite what you’ve learned from years of Whitesnake videos, nice cars can look pretty good even WITHOUT a leggy supermodel stretched across the hood.  And stretching across our ‘hood on Sunday was the GM Car Show, so we trucked…

  • DA’ TARA’D AND FEATHERED

    Clowns bet down Big Brown in Triple Crown, but drown with frowns when Da’ Tara goes to town A horse walks into a Bar, and the Bartender says, “Why the long face?” Usually, that would be the whole joke, but today, there’s more — The long-faced horse is named Big…

  • IRON MAN HAS FREEZING PROBLEM

    BRY ICE:  After leading by 5 at Halftime, Kobe and Lakers freeze up like Iron Man and go Down(ey) in Series, 0-1 The Los Angeles Lakers went into BRYogenic Deep Freeze on Thursday night, losing a Road game that was up for grabs as the NBA Finals got under way…

  • LET’S GET IT ON

    Boston Lethal:  It’s Showtime again, but if the Lakers are dead to you, you’re Crossing Jordan Coronation or Coroner — Which will be called for after Jordan Farmar and the Los Angeles Lakers renew their long-lost-but-not-deceased Rivalry with the Boston Celtics?   Die-hard Bruin fans should be hoping that the Finals Exams done by…

  • “All we need is one P.I.N., Rodney!”

    O.J. Mayo will NOT be charged, even if he cashed in on Rodney Guillory’s Sickle Cell Credit Card Another day, another skating trOJan. The California Attorney General announced this week that ex-trojan O.J. Mayo is not a target of their investigation into the fraudulent use of a bogus charity credit…