Month: October 2010
-
TACKLE-ME ELMO
•
Bruins aren’t tacklish at all in un-funny 29-21 loss to Wildcats, then big Birds toy with trojans before saying “Open Sesame” to floodgates, and teaching a lesson to (non-) tackling dummies in 53-32 laugher Usc is 2-3 in the Pac-10. That WOULD have been good for a chuckle, if the…
-
NO BITTER AFTERTASTE
•
Pour Some Sugar On Me: As a follow-up to the previous, honey-rific pictorial, here are 35 more ungranulated UCLA Cheerleader photos to hit you right in the Sweet Spot Bruin Football fans have a sour taste in their mouths after consecutive blowouts, so it’s time to ask: One lump or two? It’s…
-
HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN CHEER-UP
•
Splenda in the Grass: There is no sugar-coating the last two games for the decaying Bruins, but the syrupy-sweet UCLA Spirit Squad can still satisfy your sweet tooth, and fill up your emotional cavity The Bruins have gotten pancaked two weeks in a row, but for some of us, our…
-
JUICE BOXED
•
This time, concentrating on the Race Card doesn’t hold water, as fruity Appeal gets tossed, and O. J. gets tossed back into the Deep Freeze, for at least another 7 years After the Bruins got beaten to a pulp on Thursday night, my fellow trojan-haters and I really needed a pick-me-up… and…
-
PLOTZIN’ IN AUTZEN
•
Verklempt, blue-ish Bruins lay an egg against the #1 Ducks, who easily live up to their billing with a 60-13 slaughter Some of my best friends are blue-ish. UCLA finally played the way they were expected to — Horribly. The Bruins got absolutely destroyed by Oregon in noisy Autzen Stadium,…
-
UNASSISTED SEAU-CIDE
•
Ex-trojan Junior Seau gets arrested for battering his girlfriend, then batters himself by driving off a cliff; He claims that he fell asleep at the wheel, but wouldn’t most people be amped up and UNABLE to sleep after getting busted for spousal abuse? What is it with trojans and denial? …
-
LOVE AT FIRST BYE
•
Best Bye: As the Bruins bye time before probably bye-ing the farm in Niketown, put on your bye-focals and enjoy this bye-nary tribute to some UCLA beauties, many of whom you said good-bye to last year The hurting UCLA Bruin Football Team gets to take this week off, enabling them…
-
THE NUMBER OF THE FLEECED
•
Unlucky #7 John Elway is bedeviled by a hellish Ponzi scheme, to the tune of $15 Million — Aren’t Stanford grads supposed to be smart? On a day that was celebrated for being the ultra-Wise John Wooden’s 100th Birthday, another John was exposed as being a little less wise. Apparently,…
-
GIMME RED UNTIL I’M DEAD
•
Get the RED out: Don’t rub your eyes — It’s not Tommy Trojan’s — It’s just the pride and joy of a normal guy who likes to go Redding Out To The Highway I don’t like red. I almost never WEAR red, and I don’t buy red cars. In fact, when the Angels switched their…
-
LUCK YOU (AND THE HORSE YOU RODE IN ON)
•
The trojans are Lucked Up Beyond All Recognition, after Stanford’s Andrew Luck saddles them with their second straight last-second photo-finish loss Yeah, I know: UCLA sucks much worse than usc does, and usc is going to kill the Bruins in December. UCLA got absolutely destroyed by Cal on Saturday, 35-7…
-
GIANTS VETO ZITO
•
San Francisco burns used trojan: Bedeviled ex-trojan Barry Zito is banished from Playoff Roster, thanks to hellish 6.66 ERA of late The 2010 Major League Baseball Playoffs got underway yesterday, as Bruin Chase Utley knocked in the first run of the Postseason, and the Giants knocked out the first trojan. The Phillies…
-
PANTHERS JUNK DRUNK TROJAN PUNK
•
Who woulda thunk it? Unless the reports are bunk, ex-trojan hunk Dwayne Jarrett is in a funk, and his career could be sunk, after his SECOND D.W.I., and his release by Carolina Has Dwayne Jarrett ever NOT been impaired? As a trojan, Jarrett stupidly and selfishly violated rules by accepting the…