JUICE BOXED

This time, concentrating on the Race Card doesn’t hold water, as fruity Appeal gets tossed, and O. J. gets tossed back into the Deep Freeze, for at least another 7 years

After the Bruins got beaten to a pulp on Thursday night, my fellow trojan-haters and I really needed a pick-me-up… and who better than the ultimate trojan O.J. Simpson to supply a sweet one?

On Friday, O.J. “The King of Denial” Simpson and his ridiculous Appeal of his Armed Robbery and Kidnapping Convictions were laughed out of Court, when the Nevada Supreme Court Judges called the Appeal totally without merit.  O.J.’s legal Dream Team II was trying to get the 2008 decision overturned for eight different reasons, including Judicial Misconduct, and the Racial make-up of the jury.  However, they failed on all eight issues.  The Court issued a 24-page decision that shot down O.J.’s entire set of excuses.

Apparently, usc does NOT own the Nevada Supreme Court the way they own the LAPD.  Even the deep-pocketed trojan alumni couldn’t buy O.J.’s way out of the slammer.  Now Simpson is looking at seven more years before he is eligible for parole.  Of course, he’s almost certain to get parole on his first try, since the authorities involved in THAT decision WILL be susceptible to the influence of the trojan machine.

I hope I’m wrong, but it will probably be just like Junior Seau’s case.  It looks like the usc machine couldn’t get to Seau’s bruised and battered Domestic Abuse victim, but they WERE able to own the Oceanside PD just like it was L.A.  AS I PREDICTED, despite all the bruises and the original call from the complaining girlfriend, the Oceanside authorities will NOT be pursuing the case against Seau.  And I’m sure it’s NOT because they felt sorry for him after his apparent failed suicide attempt just hours after his arrest.  Watch for the Oceanside Police to roll out their new fleet of Mercedes Squad Cars some time next Summer, and for their District Attorneys to get a Sky Box at the Coliseum.  Do you think any of them will feel guilty when he beats her up again?

And speaking of total scumbags who don’t know how to treat their women, Mel Gibson’s comeback was derailed yesterday, when the Cast and Crew of “The Hangover 2” came together to block Gibson from getting his bit part in the new movie.  Gibson was supposed to play a Thailand Tattoo Artist in the highly-anticipated sequel to the recent Comedy blockbuster, until uproar from the film’s participants forced the Producers to cancel their plans.  What was considered to be the perfect comeback vehicle for the Jew-hating, Holocaust-denying, drunkard fell apart thanks to an overwhelming backlash, allegedly led by co-star Zach Galifianakis.  Galifianakis had been complaining vehemently about “something,” but he said that no one would listen to him.  Then he got a tidal wave of support from his co-workers, and suddenly, Gibson was out.

Gibson’s “people” are furious, saying that the hypocritical crew was fine with convicted Rapist Mike Tyson appearing in the original film, but they couldn’t stomach Gibson.  Moral of the story?  When you’re in Hollywood, don’t mess with the Jews!

And speaking of Jews, the City of New York learned tonight that when you’re in Texas, don’t mess with Texas (unless you’re UCLA).  The State of Texas just got news good enough to make them forget that the Bruins ruined the Longhorns’ 2010 season:  The Texas Rangers just beat the Yankees in Game 6, 6-1, to earn their FIRST TRIP EVER to the World Series.

For you Angel fans, you might be a little pleased, as the Rangers are full of former Angels.  Nolan Ryan is their President, and their team includes Bengie Molina and Vladimir Guerrero (as well as lesser-beloved ex-Angels Darren Oliver and Darren O’Day).  Bengie was a huge part of the Series, hitting a crucial 3-run Homer and just plain killing the Yankees at every opportunity, like he and his Angel teammates were KNOWN forin seasons past.  Guerrero also contributed, with a 4-hit game, and tonight, with a line-shot, 2-run Double, giving him the first 3 Texas RBI’s of the decisive Game 6.  And the Rangers wouldn’t have even made the Postseason without their Hall of Fame ex-Angel Vladdy, who LED THE LEAGUE during the regular season with FIFTY-TWO, TWO-OUT RBI’s. [By the way, I refuse to go with the new (and technically correct), singular “RBI” to describe “RunS Batted In.”]

Besides being an Angel fan who totally appreciates everything that Vlad did for the Anaheim franchise, there is another reason why I am regaling in his success:  Last year, “some” people here suggested that he was washed up, and that the Angels shouldn’t keep him on their roster.  I disagreed, and this time, for once, I believe that I was correct.  I love it most when my teams win, but next to that, I love being proven right… especially since it’s such a rare occurrence!

Now it’s up to the Phillies — and their TWO Bruins Chase Utley and Ben Francisco — to come back and beat San Francisco, to make the World Series a win-win situation for me — At least someone I like will get to celebrate.  But with Utley struggling, it doesn’t look good for Philly.  Unlike die-hard Dodger fans, I have nothing against San Francisco, except that they still have ex-trojan Barry Zito on their 40-man roster.  However, due to his 2010 collapse, he has not been on the Playoff roster.  Hopefully, they will keep him out of uniform in the Fall Classic as well, if they make it, so that even if Vladdy and company go down, it won’t be as bad as what happened in Oregon on Thursday night.