Shipp Exhumed From Sands: Hotter-than-Hell Darren, Shipp and the Bruins torch and burn Jerren Shipp and the Sun Devils, by hitting the Progressive Megabucks Jackpot Downtown, and then finding Love on The Strip Josh Shipp’s shot is no longer lost at Sea. Just like in the movie “Sahara,” THE Shipp turned up in the Desert, […]
Ex-trojan who allegedly showed photos of his “little trojan” to unwilling female co-workers, finally gets the shaft, but claims that he pulled out Looks like The Flasher’s career could be petering out. Or coming to be more in-your-face. After suffering through a SCandal at ESPN last year involving the unwanted sharing of his penis, ex-usc Quarterback […]
Phil Jackson’s switch in time saves Nine: In for Fish, Farmar seeds Cloud Nine, and Nine-fingered Kobe rains whole Nine yards on Portland, as Lakers’ Gathering Storm has now left Nine straight thunderstruck foes strewn in its path of destruction, and could soon cause a Title Wave in L.A. As the Drug Counselors in Dusseldorf often […]
No Country For Sold Men: No-Show Bush could have used a Seat-Filler in Court for his Atonement, as he knows as well as Ju-no, when he Rats out sc, There Will Be Blood Reggie Bush: The Man Who Knew Too Much? What we have here… is a failure… to communicate. Ex-trojan Reggie Bush has just […]
HOORAY FOR MOLLIE-WOOD! — Hollywood’s Elite give Coen Brothers multiple Big O’s; Mollie-wood’s Elite give Bruin Brothers multiple Big “Whoa’s” in bang-up pre-game rituals that make the Basketball games almost anticlimactic (and we aren’t faking) Easy, basketball purists, we said “almost.” But if anything could ever steal the thunder of a UCLA Basketball Game, it’s […]
Oregon blows second straight Second Half double-digit lead, as Bruins turn up the heat just in time to cook the Ducks, 75-65 The Oregon Ducks sure look great… in stretches. On Thursday night, they were in the process of dismantling usc – going up 40-25 – before crumbling to defeat. On Saturday Afternoon, they gave […]
Pattie Rolls a Fattie: Philadelphia Eagle ex-trojan Mike “Potterson” and his doobie Brother get busted, for resisting arrest but not resisting temptation of a bonghit in a disabled vehicle on the side of the road at 6am THE EAGLE HAS LANDED… on the trOJan Blotter. Philadelphia Eagle Defensive Tackle and former trojan Mike Patterson and his […]
After STEPPEN out to an early lead, Bruins WOLF down Born-to-be-Mild Beavers, who can’t Ward off Wand-Wielding Westbrook’s Wicked Wizardry, 84-49 Thanks to KAY-Love and the UCLA Starting Guards, the Bruins got their Mata running on Thursday night, and the result was heavy metal thunder for stil-winless-in-the-Pac-10 Oregon State. The Beavers’ Hunt for Conference Win […]
Shaq-Suns not GERMANE after L.A.’s 130-124 VICTORY makes Phoenix gNash their teeth like OSMONDS; Kobe MOONWALKS on the Suns for 41 (26 more than O’Neal), but this momenTITO belongs to Gasol, the THRILLER who’s a Man among Boys, as Lakers get ’em by Six, in the end Just wait until Bynum and Ariza come back! […]
Now that we’re BACH, MAN, we TURNER attention towards fulfulling your requests, in OVERDRIVE (And B-B-B-B-Baby, you just ain’t seen n-n-n-n-nothin’ yet) The UCLA Basketball team took care of business on Sunday night, when they dispatched the trojans by double-digits; Marie Callendar’s is trying to take care of business by crushing Papadakis Tavern; And WE are […]
Black Sabbath: SC coming Back in Black uni’s on Sunday can’t Blackout Mayo’s most Rancid game ever, as Bruins’ TENacious D throws out the old, moldy Mayo’s streak of TEN-point games, separates Mayo from the ball TEN times, leads to a TEN-point avenging victory that calms our Suicidal TENdencies, exTENds UCLA’s Mettalic(a) command of the Pac-TEN, and might eliminate […]
Why won’t they let us work (or sleep)? O.J. Simpson’s woman goes to the hospital with severe head injuries consistent with a brutal beating (O.J. says “she fell down”), and O.J.’s longtime friend says O.J. confessed to the murders, and he can PROVE O.J.’s guilt. Give us a break, Juice!! We work for 27 of the […]