Why won’t they let us work (or sleep)?  O.J. Simpson’s woman goes to the hospital with severe head injuries consistent with a brutal beating (O.J. says “she fell down”), and O.J.’s longtime friend says O.J. confessed to the murders, and he can PROVE O.J.’s guilt.

Give us a break, Juice!!  We work for 27 of the last 34 hours, and come home to THIS??  We could have just ignored the story about trojan QB John David Booty’s brother going nuts on a bunch of Cops and getting tasered in lockup.  After all, JOSH Booty is only a trojan by relation.

But when the King of All trOJans is involved in another mysterious incident that ends with a busty bloody blonde, and then finds out that he is about to be exposed in the ultimate way, well, we can sleep when we’re dead.  

You can use Google for the details, but a tabloid has obtained evidence that O.J.’s woman was beaten upside the head, and that she could NOT have suffered those exact injuries from a slip and fall at a gas station as Simpson claims. “She’s a Drunk,” he said lovingly.   And even worse for The Juice, Simpson’s ex-agent and confidant for almost twenty years, is about to publish EVIDENCE of O.J.’s midnight murder confession, the manner in which they FIXED THE TRIAL, and the reason why he waited all these years to come forward.

Which Heisman winner will go down first, Reggie Bush or O.J. Simpson?  If you guessed O.J.’s girlfriend, you’re right.   And you know what?  Any freaking idiot that would date a SCumbag double-murderer DESERVES to get beaten up by those very hands.  This might be the BEST thing O.J. ever does for society (until he offs himself on the 50-yard line of the Mausoleum on Live National TV.  Now THAT we would Pay-Per-Veiw.)