THREE FLAGS, with hair of gold, like their mother: This season, Pom Pom Pete has seen more laundry than Ann B. Davis

Desperate Peter pulls a Siegfried & Roy, turning Zebras into (SCape)goats, but fails to WISK away Stain-ford, or SHOUT out ALL his rivals’ CHEERs over the turning TIDE

It takes unmitigated gall to blame the fall of troy on bad officiating.

Enter Pete Carroll.

Carroll has apparently filed a formal complaint with the Pac-10 Officials, officially whining about the number and ratio of penalties his team receives.  After all these years of usc OWNING the Refs, with names like Dickinson, Affholter, and Bush getting Nationally-famous horrible calls in their favor, Pom Pom Pete has the nerve of accusing them of a conspiracy to hold down usc.

The guy loses THREE freaking games, and he immediately resorts to blaming the Referees?  Maybe he should look inward.  He has instilled an Old Raider-like attitude in sc, and the Old Raiders perenially led the NFL in penalty yardage.  When players TAKE GLORY in the Media for delivering late hits, like Shareece Wright did when he leveled Washington QB Jake Locker out of bounds, to “send a message” that he shouldn’t try to run on sc, your team is GOING to incur more penalties than their opponent. 

Maybe the reason why sc has dropped like a rock in the Rankings and has failed miserably to achieve their expectations this year is that it is the first year where the Head of Officials for the Pac-10 WASN’T a trojan alum.  Verne Sorgen just left his post amidst a cloud of impropriety last year, after his staff couldn’t even pass the sniff test with the aid of Instant Replay.

What a coincidence that as soon as he got replaced, sc went down the tubes, and Carroll started moaning about unfair flags.  When you don’t own the Refs, you have to teach your Players to stop playing dirty, grabbing facemasks, delivering late hits, and somersaulting into the end zone, if you want to see less yellow laundry on the field.

Whiny Pete isn’t the only trojan playing The Crying Game with the Media right now.  Sam Baker is mad at an unnamed teammate, who took a shot at Carroll and the offensive Coordinator by saying that the trojan Playbook can be bought on the Internet for $9.95.  When was the last time there was so much mutinous talk on the U.S.S. Figueroa?  Several players are bitching about Playing Time, and now another Player is outwardly criticizing the play-calling and Coaching?   Where have all the Chow-ers gone?  Was Norm Chow the glue that held the squad together?  And you thought that Traveler was the glue.

Below are four more pics that feature trojans and Refs coming together, WITH MOUSE-OVER CAPTIONS FROM DON HENLEY’S “DIRTY LAUNDRY.”  But first, congratulations to Darren Collison and Josh Shipp, who were named to the Wooden Award watch list.  The Basketball Bruins start their exhibition season tonight in Pauley.  And if you like the Old Bruin Glory Days, another local-area WOODENSTOCK get-together is planned for Saturday, November 17.  Watch for an upcoming article, detailing the FREE fun and festivities, or write in to get the info direct, now.

Well, I coulda been an actor, but I wound up here  I just have to look good, I dont have to be clear  Come and whisper in my ear  Give us dirty laundry  [Kick em when theyre up  Kick em when theyre down…]

Dirty little secrets Dirty little lies  We got our dirty little fingers in everybodys pie  We love to cut you down to size  We love dirty laundry

We got the bubble-headed-bleach-blonde who comes on at five  She can tell you bout the plane crash with a gleam in her eye  Its interesting when people die  Give us dirty laundry

We can do the innuendo  We can dance and sing  When it’s said and done we haven’t told you a thing  We all know that crap is king  Give us dirty laundry!


4 responses to “DIRTY LAUNDRY”

  1. BobTheBruin Avatar

    Doesn’t usc only have 2 losses?

  2. admin Avatar

    C’mon, Bob…

    You of all people should know that we’re including the 13-9 loss in there!!!!! That’s THREE devastating losses for sc, and enough for Pom Pom to start bawling like a typical trojan.

  3. BleedingBlueandGold Avatar

    Don’t get me wrong, first and foremost i am a Bruin, and would love any attempt to bring down the trojans. Now i have no problem with laughing at the Trojans for blaming the Refs for their downfall… i know its strange Trojan fans, YOUR TEAMS NOT PERFECT… but i can’t sit here and let you guys sully the name of the Pac-10 officials. The insinuation that the officials are being paid, or have any bias to any team while they are on the field is ridiculous. If you have ever taken the time to acctually meet a ref, they are the most straight forward and profesional guys out there. You all think that you can do their jobs so perfectly, but trust me it aint that easy.

    I love your website, and think you guys are doing a great thing… but try to be a least a little professional when you write stuff, and try to reseach something before you write stuff.

  4. admin Avatar

    Dear Bleeding —

    Cool. We’ve never gotten a letter from a Ref before. Unfortunately, it is YOU that needs to do a little “research” before you “write stuff.” Because…

    This site is SATIRE!!!!! As we keep trying to tell everyone, these articles are purely for entertainment value. Don’t you ever watch Letterman or Leno? In their monologues, they make fun of EVERY profession, including Referees, ESPECIALLY LATELY, AFTER THE DONAGHY incident. And let’s not forget that he said he could name 20 other scumbag Refs. We’ll see if that turns out to be true or not.

    But the point is, that a HYPOTHETICAL, OVERZEALOUS FAN, which is what this JOKE site is supposed to represent, thinks that every ref who makes a call against him is ON THE TAKE. As a REGULAR READER, don’t you get it? We are not really accusing Refs of malfeasance, with the exception of Sorgen, and only because he’s a trojan who’s been at the helm for some of the worst calls in decades, even with Replay. But we don’t think that ALL Refs are owned by trojans and mob affiliates, any more than we think that ALL Clergymen are Gay Pedophiles.

    Please, please, please, don’t take this crapola seriously!! We did not INTEND to insult Referees — They were just collateral damage in another trojan-hating moment. When you’re trying like Hell to make people laugh, you can’t stay ” a little professional” all the time.

    And as a final thought, but not meant as an insult: After all the money we’ve lost on pointspreads, on bs NBA calls at the end of already-decided games, with one of the Refs saying that there are 20 guys manipulating those very pointspread outcomes, you and the world of Referees aren’t going to get any sympathy here.