Category: UCLA/usc/Cheerleader Photos
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CALLING DR. LOVE
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Just What the Doctor Ordered: Sun Devils don’t shine in Pauley, as Love and Shipp dissect ASU, 84-51, but it’s already time to start prepping for U of A, who just Kevorkianed usc 80-69 “You better call up the ambulance, I’m — deep in shock; Overloaded, Baby, I can hardly walk… Somebody get me…
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DON’T MONKEY WITH THE OREGON GRINDER
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Duck Calls to Love’s cel inspire him to score 26 and get 18 Rebounds, as Bruins make throbbing Oregon go limp in Love’s Homecoming, 80-75 Like the Incredible Hulk, you don’t want to get Kevin Love mad. Love’s Father welcomed the obscene taunts from the Oregon Student Section at The Pit, because he knew…
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MOO GOO GAI PANACEA: BRUIN STAFF GETS CHOWED
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Neuheisel delivers Mein Man to cure Pu-Pu Offense, leaving Egg F.U. Young on Carroll’s face, and Thai-massaging a Happy Ending out of a long, hard quest that seemed to DRAG-ON forever; And how will the Neu Golden Triad BeatSC? Ancient Chinese Secret! Forget it Pete — It’s Chinatown. Okay, before the letters…
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WRITE IT OFF TO A MAYOJUANA CONTACT HIGH
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Bruins play as if THEY were the ones with a Weed-stained past, watching their late lead go up in smoke on the way to getting stoned, 72-63 (wasting the euphoric, natural high created by the Spirit Squad’s pre-game meet ‘n greet, and the noticeable absence of the sc Band and Song Girls) We SHOULD start by…
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LOCK UP YOUR DAUGHTERS (AND YOUR MEMORABILIA) — JUDGE JACKIE RELEASES JUICE PREMATURELY
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Instead of DENYING bail, O.J.’s Judge just doubles it, while complaining about his “arrogance and ignorance” (“Everyone please rise for Judge Obvious”) Did you know that the the World-reknowned Captian Obvious was married, and that his wife was a District Court Judge in Nevada? Judge Jackie Glass just announced to…
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SWEEP: LOVE IS LIKE OX AGAIN
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You get too much, and you get high; Not enough and you’re gonna die, Love gets you high! The Cougars are not happy (Mellen)campers today, after finding out that sometimes, it’s NOT better to have LOVED than to have never Loved at all. Especially if it’s “Man Love.” While the #5 UCLA Bruins…
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THINGS ARE STARTING TO LOOK UP
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The “heis” the limit for UCLA Football with Neuheisel’s landing, even if Pete Carroll doesn’t fly off with the Falcons, who apparently, without Vick, are way below their sleaze quota Before we start with the so-called comedy, we first send out our best wishes to Bruin Point Guard Darren Collison, who is dealing…
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(BUCK)EYES OF THE TIGERS
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Survivors of Rocky start, LSU pummels Ohio State like side of beef in 38-24 Title Bout TKO: OSU goes ahead 10-0 but can’t dot Tigers’ “i,” leaving #1 LSU BCS Undisputed Champion (but that won’t stop trojans’ Raging Bull) DATELINE: January 8th, 2058 — The u$c trOJans celebrated the 50th Anniversary of…
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LEGALLY BLONDE
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Neuheisel takes the oath to follow the rules, and will try to keep Walker and add Chow; If he does, he’ll go from Legally Blonde to Regally Blonde. New Bruin Football Coach Rick Neuheisel is scheduled to be introduced today at a Press Conference on campus. The New Ruler will start…
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BRUINS HIRE ‘HEIS FOR HIGHER HIGHS
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Historic Day… for UCLA: In a bad omen for sc, Rick Neuheisel becomes Bruin Head Coach on same day that New England completes a perfect season WANTED: Experienced Compliance Officer. The UCLA Football Bruins filled their Head Coaching vacancy yesterday, selecting Bruin grad and Rose Bowl MVP Rick Neuheisel. Athletic Director Dan Guerrero wisely…
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ANOTHER NAILED CARPENTER FAILS TO RESURRECT FOR HOLIDAY COMEBACK
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No Rudy Awakening: Texas overcomes screw-up by Coach’s stepson, by hammering Carpenter and keeping him from becoming the Devils’ Savior in 52-34 Holiday Bowl Crucifixion The Texas Longhorns are no strangers to beating a Pac-10 team in a Bowl Game that contains a one-in-a-million lost-lateral play. A couple of years ago,…
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IMMACULATE DEFLECTION
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BYU’s prayers are answered in Sin City when Forbath’s would-be Game-Winning Field Goal is partially blocked, preserving a 17-16 Las Vegas Bowl win and preventing a UCLA Miracle-Comeback-Doubleheader-Sweep Saturday VH-1 aired a 7-part Rockumentary this week, and the Heavy Metal section was titled “Never Say Die,” after the Black Sabbath…