Neuheisel delivers Mein Man to cure Pu-Pu Offense, leaving Egg F.U. Young on Carroll’s face, and Thai-massaging a Happy Ending out of a long, hard quest that seemed to DRAG-ON forever; And how will the Neu Golden Triad BeatSC? Ancient Chinese Secret!
Forget it Pete — It’s Chinatown.
Okay, before the letters start pouring in, we are well aware that Norm Chow is a full-blooded American, born in Honolulu, Hawaii, so we are not mistakenly implying that he is Chinese. Not that there would be anything wrong with that. All we know (because of Wikipidia) is that his name is of Chinese derivation, hence today’s Asian-themed (attempts at) humor and (almost) All-Asian PICTORIAL. No Racism should be inferred.
Now, on to the Celebration, which should be akin to the Parade Extravaganza that they have for the Chinese New Year (as if everyone didn’t just jump down to the pictorial). According to ESPN, Norm Chow is going to be announced today as the new Offensive Coordinator for the UCLA Bruins. This will complete a three-headed monster of Coaches that the entire Country will envy: Head Coach Rick Neuheisel, O.C. Chow, and D.C. DeWayne Walker. All three of them were considered for the Bruin Head Coaching job, and now they will all be working together.
Ironically, the Mighty Bruin Triumvirate that is going to topple Troy from their precarious perch, is made up of three people with strong trojan ties. Neuheisel went to sc law school, while Walker and Chow were both Assistant Coaches there for Carroll. Fig Tech fans would have LOVED to have Chow come BACK to usc to take over his old post as Offensive Coordinator, but that possibility was nixed by Pete, who supposedly had a falling out with Chow. Carroll’s ego was reportedly offended by Chow getting all the credit for the Bush Years Offense.
After Chow was fired by ex-trOJan Jeff Fisher earlier this month, he could have gone to other teams in the NFL, and he also could have gotten a Head Coaching job at a smaller school. Either way, he probably would have gotten a bigger salary, although with his Termination deal from the Titans, it wasn’t much of an issue. What was important to Chow was coming back to his House and family in Southern California, and allegedly, his desire to compete and beat Pete Carroll, and Pete Carroll’s ego.
Wouldn’t that be funny if Carroll bolted NOW? Would it look like he was scared of the Bruins’ three-pronged attack, Chow’s prong especially? Would Chow regret his decision? Would he take a Head Coaching gig at sc? Would Norton? THAT would be great, because if the Bruins’ staff stays intact, whoever is running usc will be run out of town. The only problem is, it’s not going to stay intact. Chow is older, and while we would LOVE to see him stick around for at least a decade, it would be surprising. DeWayne Walker, who is coveted as a Head Coach and would like to make the jump, will be even harder to retain with each passing year.
But for NOW, while they are all here, the best instant ramification is: What Bruin Recruit in his right mind would even consider breaking his commitment NOW? With this Coaching Staff as evidence, Neuheisel is going to bring in an elite Recruiting Class next year too, so both Coordinators should have an interest in sticking around for a while, just to see how good it can get. Wouldn’t it be special to build UCLA’s first Football Dynasty?
The Bruins have had a few other Dynasties, including thier Spirit Squad, and THAT is a Dynasty that is still going strong. Below are seven examples of ONE of the reasons why, when some idiotic trOJan breaks out the hackneyed, old “UC Lotsa Asians” joke, WE SAY “Thank you.” These photos don’t have funny captions, but if you click on them, they enlarge like that crunchy white glass-noodle stuff in a Chinese Chicken Salad does when it hits the oil in the wok.