…and btw, these girls are NOT “things.”  But if they were, then this would be “a few of our favorite things.”

The “heis” the limit for UCLA Football with Neuheisel’s landing, even if Pete Carroll doesn’t fly off with the Falcons, who apparently, without Vick, are way below their sleaze quota

Before we start with the so-called comedy, we first send out our best wishes to Bruin Point Guard Darren Collison, who is dealing with a case of food poisoning.

Now, back to our regularly-scheduled programming…

Don’t get your hopes up about Pete Carroll leaving Figueroa Tech for Atlanta.  Yes, they are trying to lure him, but it is doubtful (reportedly) that the Falcons are willing to turn over Total Control to Carroll, so he probably won’t be interested.  It’s hard to believe that Atlanta would be interested in another college Coach (who has already tried and failed in the Pro’s), after getting shafted by Bobby Petrino just a few short weeks ago.  But with Falcon Star Quarterback Michael Vick in jail for Dog Fighting and Animal Abuse, the Falcons need to up their street cred with that ever-so-important demographic:  Criminals.  If you don’t believe that, guess which team sells the most merchandise, PER WIN?  That’s right, the Raiders.  Who says crime doesn’t pay?  No other team could lose so badly for so long and still sell so many truck decals to gangbangers Nationwide.

So the Falcons need someone that “lives” in the inner city, who isn’t afraid of Johnny Law, and who already HAS EXPERIENCE bossing around a Dog Fighting guy.  After all, Vick could be coming back to the Falcons in 18-24 months, with good behavior, so they’ll need someone who isn’t all bark and no bite to train him and whip him back into shape.  And Carroll is just the man for the job.  Carroll currently employs – and defends – admitted Dog Abuser Todd McNair.  McNair is the Assistant Coach who supposedly KNEW about Bushgate and Jarrettgate to the point that sc should get the NCAA Death Penalty, and he is also the guy who pled out on multiple counts of Dog Fighting-related charges.  When these facts all came to light – after Vick was busted – Carroll passionately DEFENDED McNair, and said that he would have hired him even if he KNEW about the charges at the time.

Did the Falcons really not know this?  Are they really trying to hire a guy who DEFENDS DOG FIGHTING?  No wonder that franchise is like the Clippers of the NFL… soon to be the Raiders of the NFC.

Another NFL job opening is in Washington, where Joe Gibbs just quit on the Redskins.  The NASCAR Owner has apparently made his final pit stop on the Gridiron, announcing his re-retirement this week.  Mega-rich Owner Daniel Snyder could afford Carroll, but he already went that route and failed, with Steve Spurrier.  So even though all of Pete Carroll’s red and gold clown suits would still be appropriate, don’t expect to see Pete in D.C. any time soon.

It would come as a shock if Pete left now, just as Rick Neuheisel has made The Rivalry interesting again.  It would look like he’s running away from the challenge, with his tail between his legs.  Of course looks can be deceiving, and in this case, the decision to bail might have less to do with UCLA, and more to do with the extra several million dollars that he would make, even when he becomes a three-time loser in the League.  But it would still be amusing timing, to see him jump ship just as the Bruins have righted theirs.  There is one other thought here:  Carroll might jump off a SINKING SHIP, if he’s worried about the impending Bushgate sanctions.  The Death Penalty would obviously be all the motivation the Carroll needs to make a jailbreak.

It’s been a long time, been a long, a lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely time.

We’ve got a million of them (and counting).





  1. uscsux Avatar

    I believe the “death penalty” is given only when a school already on probation gets placed on probation again. I may be wrong. But it’s been a long time since SMU got the death penalty & I’m trying to remember back almost 20 years.

  2. t-h Avatar

    Maybe they’ll make an exception for the Program with the most rampant cheating in the History of the NCAA.

  3. habakuku Avatar

    Sounds perfect to me. I have read this post with a great pleasure. You should write much more often.