Category: News from the Dark Side
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FLOYD’S NOT MELLOW, MAYO’S NOT ‘MELO
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TIMMY GETS TOSSED, AND O.J. GETS LOST: Ejected Coach/Joker and Dejected Roach-Smoker are humiliated in 74-50 laugher, especially by a blown Mayo lay-up that was a selfish attempt to get on Sportscenter No pass, no play? Then O.J. Mayo shouldn’t play. The usc trOJans went into Pullman to face a…
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PRETTY PERFECT
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THE PERFECT CRIME: Ex-trOJan Junior Seau’s latest Senior Moment proves him Guilty — Of AIDING & ABETTING the Giants (in New York’s 17-14 Super Bowl Mugging of the Patriots); Of ROBBING New England (of Perfection); and of STRANGLING Boston’s hopes for a (Sox/Pats/Celts) Perfect Storm. How can you achieve Perfection when you…
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CORVALLIS DOESN’T LIVE HERE ANY MORE
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Rejuvenated Beavers keep it tight for 20 minutes, but DC Power and Big Love turn on and stretch the lead in 2nd half in 85-62 pelting; And this just in: O.J. Mayo’s Dad busted for Dealing Weed (Do you still think the Pot in O.J.’s car belonged to his friend?) On a night where Freshman…
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O.J. PAYO
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Another guilty trojan O.J. gets off: Mayo bends over, but avoids spanking, despite blatantly defying NCAA Rules, and will only have to donate $460 to his favorite charity (The Floyd Foundation for Lying SCumbags?) Does “O.J.” stand for “Obliterate Justice?” First, trOJan Hero O.J. Simpson commits the most serious of all violations and…
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SIGNING FOR BUSH IN VEGAS
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HBO proclaims Bush-Accuser “CREDIBLE,” citing audio tapes, Reggie’s sig on Venetian Receipt, and lack of alternate explanations for all the luxuries enjoyed by Bush and his Stepdad Griffin; Meanwhile, O.J. Mayo’s possible violation is also exposed on TV And the Oscar goes to… …Lloyd Lake. Because if he is lying…
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WRITE IT OFF TO A MAYOJUANA CONTACT HIGH
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Bruins play as if THEY were the ones with a Weed-stained past, watching their late lead go up in smoke on the way to getting stoned, 72-63 (wasting the euphoric, natural high created by the Spirit Squad’s pre-game meet ‘n greet, and the noticeable absence of the sc Band and Song Girls) We SHOULD start by…
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LOCK UP YOUR DAUGHTERS (AND YOUR MEMORABILIA) — JUDGE JACKIE RELEASES JUICE PREMATURELY
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Instead of DENYING bail, O.J.’s Judge just doubles it, while complaining about his “arrogance and ignorance” (“Everyone please rise for Judge Obvious”) Did you know that the the World-reknowned Captian Obvious was married, and that his wife was a District Court Judge in Nevada? Judge Jackie Glass just announced to…
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trOJans fingered For Unlawful Carroll Knowledge
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TRAITOR HO’S: Lake says that sc knew all about Bush, and Norton tells Bruins to kiss his SCum Tush Take my Norton… Please. They say that when a Bruin defects to usc, he’s a trojan FOR LIFE. WE say it’s more like “TWENTY TO LIFE.” Ken Norton jr. has shunned Rick Neuheisel’s…
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SWEEP: LOVE IS LIKE OX AGAIN
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You get too much, and you get high; Not enough and you’re gonna die, Love gets you high! The Cougars are not happy (Mellen)campers today, after finding out that sometimes, it’s NOT better to have LOVED than to have never Loved at all. Especially if it’s “Man Love.” While the #5 UCLA Bruins…
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O.J. GETS SCREWED BY TAMPER-PROOF CHAP
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One-man Velveeta Mafia O.J. Simpson allegedly expands his crime repertoire to include Witness Tampering, but he gets ratted out, so his bail is revoked and he’s bottled up in a Las Vegas cell, possibly until his Kidnapping and Armed Robbery trial in April Just when you start to wonder why…
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EMPTY-RESERVOIR DOGS
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Drowning Dogs — 3-0 Bruins drain Dawgs’ Reservoir, while Reservoir-Tipped Doggs paddle to 0-3 after getting house-broken by WSU Call it The Dog Days of Winter. The Washington Huskies, aka “Dawgs,” are just not what they used to be. After beating UCLA 3 of 4, UW came into Pauley as…
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Once you go SCum, you can’t be our chum
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TraitorNation — If Benedict Norton is poached and scrambles back sunny side up, he’ll have more eggsplaining to do than Lucy Ricardo getting caught by Ricky in a menage a Mertz WE are THIS CLOSE to calling for an all-out boycott. We are also very close to PULLING THE PLUG ON THIS WEBSITE……