Category: News from the Dark Side
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DANCING DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN
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What Is and What Should Never Be: Whole Lotta Love Plants UCLA at #1 in the West, and troy gets Paged Over the Hills and Far Away, but both teams are Jones-ing to Ramble On to the NCAA’s Stairway to Heaven How the West Was Won — The NCAA announced…
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BEARS’ BULL-EXCHANGES FUND BRUINS, WHO MERRILY LYNCH CAL, 88-66
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Bruins Crash Cal’s NCAA hopes, as all the Insider Info about Payback fail to yield a Return On Investment for Bears If you ignored Tim Floyd’s Stock answer and speculated on the Bears, you’re now a little “broker.” For once, Floyd was right. Before the UCLA-Cal rematch, when told that…
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WHEN IT DWAYNES, IT POURS: JARRETT’S DWI COMPLETES A CRIME TROY-FECTA
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1 Past, 1 Present, and 1 Future trOJan have all been Spirited away this week by Police, and that doesn’t even include Marijuanovich’s little brother Dwayne Jarrett was supposed to be an immediate NFL success, based on his numbers in “College.” Instead, during his Rookie season with Carolina, Jarrett got Skunked. …
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TOUCHY FILI
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Irritable TrOJan Syndrome: Fili Moala gets arrested for obstructing Justice, by refusing to do The Routine, and Heel for Police This time, it’s really him. It looks like some small-time crook is the Miss Cleo of Perps. Last year after getting arrested on a drunk and disorderly or some other crime, some…
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FINK AND PINK OUT OF SYNC
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Annoyed Floyd raises racket, but Hackett won’t back it The first rule in Bullsh!tting, is to always get your stories straight. Apparently, usc Head Coach Tim “Pink” Floyd didn’t pass that class. “We don’t need no ed-u-ca-tion. We don’t need no thought control. No dark sarcasm in the classroom. Teacher…
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HARDEN-ED CRIMINALS
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ASU’s James Harden locks down the trOJans, who go stir crazy and can’t escape the hole they dig, even with play so dirty they could have used the soap (but probably would have dropped it) Finally: An Officiating Crew that isn’t intimidated by Tim Floyd and his band of thugs.…
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ESPN PUTS A STAKE IN SALISBURY
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Ex-trojan who allegedly showed photos of his “little trojan” to unwilling female co-workers, finally gets the shaft, but claims that he pulled out Looks like The Flasher’s career could be petering out. Or coming to be more in-your-face. After suffering through a SCandal at ESPN last year involving the unwanted sharing…
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THE BUSH ULTIMATUM: Reggie tries to save his Trophy (and his Rep) by Blackballing the NCAA and YOU, but could get penal-ized for Illegal Motion Control
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No Country For Sold Men: No-Show Bush could have used a Seat-Filler in Court for his Atonement, as he knows as well as Ju-no, when he Rats out sc, There Will Be Blood Reggie Bush: The Man Who Knew Too Much? What we have here… is a failure… to communicate.…
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ILLEGAL EAGLE FLIES TOO HIGH
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Pattie Rolls a Fattie: Philadelphia Eagle ex-trojan Mike “Potterson” and his doobie Brother get busted, for resisting arrest but not resisting temptation of a bonghit in a disabled vehicle on the side of the road at 6am THE EAGLE HAS LANDED… on the trOJan Blotter. Philadelphia Eagle Defensive Tackle and former…
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SC GOES BLACK BUT NEVER COMES BACK, ‘CUZ WESTBROOK’S LIKE MOLD ON SPOILED MAYO
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Black Sabbath: SC coming Back in Black uni’s on Sunday can’t Blackout Mayo’s most Rancid game ever, as Bruins’ TENacious D throws out the old, moldy Mayo’s streak of TEN-point games, separates Mayo from the ball TEN times, leads to a TEN-point avenging victory that calms our Suicidal TENdencies, exTENds UCLA’s Mettalic(a) command of…
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CAN’T THEY JUST STOP FOR ONE DAMN DAY???
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Why won’t they let us work (or sleep)? O.J. Simpson’s woman goes to the hospital with severe head injuries consistent with a brutal beating (O.J. says “she fell down”), and O.J.’s longtime friend says O.J. confessed to the murders, and he can PROVE O.J.’s guilt. Give us a break, Juice!! We…
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WTF?
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Are you kidding? How can we take time off when the Reggie Bush Machine is threatening witnesses at gunpoint?? No time for an article today, but we had to just “check in” and say “hi.” So: Who still thinks Reggie Bush didn’t do anything wrong?