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Someone’s “blitzed,” but it isn’t Drew Olson

Pattie Rolls a Fattie:  Philadelphia Eagle ex-trojan Mike “Potterson”  and his doobie Brother get busted, for resisting arrest but not resisting temptation of a bonghit in a disabled vehicle on the side of the road at 6am

THE EAGLE HAS LANDED… on the trOJan Blotter.

Philadelphia Eagle Defensive Tackle and former trojan Mike Patterson and his Brother got in trouble in Philly this week, when Police found Marijuana on them at six in the morning out on the street.  Unlike fellow trojan O.J. Mayo, Patterson was either too slow-thinking or too honest (!) to save his ass by blaming it on his non-famous accomplice.  Patterson admitted to Police that the Weed was his, so they booked him.  Meanwhile, they found out that there were warrants out on Patterson’s Brother, so they tried to arrest him.

But maybe the Brother is a trojan-by-injection, or by relation, or by osmosis, because he apparently felt ABOVE THE LAW, and decided to refuse to let the Cops take him in.  It is not certain what Mike did at this point, but the Cops did indeed take the Brother into custody, adding Resisting Arrest to his Charges, but not to Mike’s.  Perhaps Mike just stood there and laughed, as his Brother made a futile attempt to thwart his capture.

Before anyone starts whining that smoking Dope is no big deal, and that ex-Bruins do it too, etc, etc, the issue here is not the Chronic.  It’s about getting caught.  After all, if you were in some vehicle after an accident, at 6am, and you had to sit there and wait for someone coming to help, and you weren’t going to be driving again for a while, wouldn’t you want to mentally “get away” too?  What a perfect time to kick back, relax, and take the edge off.  It may not be Pink Floyd at The Laserium, but we “get” the attraction.  It might have been six in the morning, but it was NOT a classic example of “Wake & Bake.”

However, when you are a multi-millionaire public figure Sports Star Role Model to the Kids, you gotta use slightly better judgment — Blow the smoke out the window, use Visine, suck on an Altoid,  and AIR OUT the car.  Or maybe just wait until you get to your mansion, which now could be the next victim of those Sports Home Invasions that have been going around, now that everyone knows it’s probably full of expensive Pot.  And THAT’S the kind of Robbery that doesn’t even get reported.   But he can still complain to fellow trojan hero Snoop Dogg, who was probably on the sidelines making offers that Patterson couldn’t resist way back when.

“Hey you smokin’ Mother Nature, this is a bust.”

“My name is Patterson;  I roll ‘em fatter, Son;  I never splatter none.”

"ILLEGAL EAGLE FLIES TOO HIGH" was published on February 23rd, 2008 and is listed in News from the Dark Side, UCLA/usc/Sports Photos.

Comments on "ILLEGAL EAGLE FLIES TOO HIGH": 1 Comment

  1. Beefsteak Johnny wrote,

    Clear eyes is much better than visine!

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