Category: News from the Dark Side
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GIANTS VETO ZITO
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San Francisco burns used trojan: Bedeviled ex-trojan Barry Zito is banished from Playoff Roster, thanks to hellish 6.66 ERA of late The 2010 Major League Baseball Playoffs got underway yesterday, as Bruin Chase Utley knocked in the first run of the Postseason, and the Giants knocked out the first trojan. The Phillies…
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PANTHERS JUNK DRUNK TROJAN PUNK
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Who woulda thunk it? Unless the reports are bunk, ex-trojan hunk Dwayne Jarrett is in a funk, and his career could be sunk, after his SECOND D.W.I., and his release by Carolina Has Dwayne Jarrett ever NOT been impaired? As a trojan, Jarrett stupidly and selfishly violated rules by accepting the…
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BRUINS GET STOKED WHILE BEHIND, TROJANS GET FOLKED FROM BEHIND (AGAIN)
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With Honorary Captain and trojan-killer J.J. Stokes on hand, UCLA snaps out of a lull to come back and beat WSU, and afterwards watch usc lose to UW on a last-second, Erik Folk Field Goal (for the second year in a row) Not…
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I GET NO KICK FROM SHAM’S PAIN (EVEN WHEN THE FIBBER BREAKS A FIBULA)
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Karma & Reg: Reggie Bush’s muff leads to a broken leg and six weeks of rehab, in what many are calling an act of Karma — but six weeks of muffs would have been better I don’t like to see Reggie Bush get hurt. I don’t like to see anyone…
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TROJAN-ON-TROJAN HATE
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Steve Sarkissian says Reggie Bush looks like an idiot again, for not fessing up Maybe Pat Haden thinks Reggie Bush’s return of the Heisman Trophy was “noble,” but ex-trojan Coach Steve Sarkissian thinks that it was a completely empty gesture. According to Sark, Bush’s forfeit-without-admitting-guilt was a completely idiotic waste…
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WORTH THE PRICE OF ADMISSION
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Bush says returning the Heisman was NOT an admission of guilt — Of course not: A real trOJan never confesses Reggie Bush and O.J. Simpson: The trojan “If I Did It” Twins. Two usc Heisman-trophy winning* u$c Tailbacks, who are the only two people in the World who think that either…
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RETURNING TRICKS
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Ho, ho, ho: 6-year Pro RB/Returner Reggie Bush voluntarily returns his Heisman, but muffs it, by waiting until the trophy was moments away from being repo-ed, and by not taking responsibility for his (illegal) actions First he was forced to give up his trophy wife, and now he has been forced to…
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THE GRIPS OF WRATH
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Not Fonda this not-so-Great Depression: The Bruins can’t GET A GRIP, on several catchable passes, or on the Kansas State Running Backs, whose dust they eat in a 31-22 Road loss When usc gave up 588 yards on Thursday night, they had a good excuse for their bad tackling: Due to Sanctions and limited bodies,…
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A CASE OF PEDALFILIA
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Ex-trojan Fili Moala gets busted for endangering kids of all ages, by allegedly putting the pedal to the metal while intoxicated Fili-busted? Say it ain’t Mo! Yet another ex-trojan got caught allegedly breaking the law yesterday, when Police nabbed Indianapolis Colt Defensive Tackle Fili Moala for Driving While Intoxicated. Apparently,…
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Did you think only GILLIGAN’S Island had Headhunters?
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Ma-halo Victory: Favored by 21 in Hawaii, usc spears the Warriors by only 13, giving up 36 points and 588 yards despite knocking out Hawaii’s QB with a savage blow to the head The trOJans are still getting away with Murder. Like an old re-run, some things never change. In Honolulu on…
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ARIZONA TRIES TO DEPORT LEINART LIKE HE’S SANCHEZ
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The Cardinals want to say “Adios” to the alienated ex-trojan QB, but all they’re hearing from other teams so far is “No way, Jose” At least no one is asking him to give back his Heisman. It’s been a tough month for former trojan hero and Ballroom Dance Student Matt Leinart. …