Who woulda thunk it?  Unless the reports are bunk, ex-trojan hunk Dwayne Jarrett is in a funk, and his career could be sunk, after his SECOND D.W.I., and his release by Carolina

Has Dwayne Jarrett ever NOT been impaired?

As a trojan, Jarrett stupidly and selfishly violated rules by accepting the illegal benefit of  “free rent,” when he bunked with high-profile Matt Leinart, in luxury accomodations, at a non-luxury rate.  And ever since the Carolina Panthers drafted him 4 years ago, he, and they, have blown chunks.  In fact, this year they’ve gotten completely skunked.  But things are about to turn around for the Panthers… karmically, at least.

Today Carolina kicked Jarrett off the team, after he was arrested for his SECOND “Driving While Impaired” offense in less than three years.  An easier personnel decision has never been made, since not only is Jarrett allegedly a repeat-offending criminal who has twice put innocent people in jeopardy, but also because he has been completely worthless on the gridiron.  In fact, he’s just as dangerous to Carolina fans on the field as on the highway.  The Panthers cut another trojan headcase in Keyshawn Johnson, when they selected Jarrett 4 years ago, expecting Jarrett to step right into a Starting — and starring — role.  But in 4 seasons, Jarrett has caught exactly ONE Touchdown pass.  That’s half as many TD’s as DWI’s.

In those 4 years, Jarrett has collected a total of only 35 catches — which is what many others can do in about 4 weeks.  This year, the Panthers let Muhsin Muhammed “retire,” thinking — inexplicably — that they could rely on Jarrett  (Are you starting to see why Carolina has sucked for a while?).  But instead of stepping up, Jarrett actually got BEAT OUT by TWO different ROOKIES.

And this week, Carolina’s ACTUAL Star Receiver, Steve Smith (not the one from sc who is floundering for the Giants this year), is injured, so Jarrett might have gotten a golden opportunity to re-energize his reputation.  But now, Jarrett is a free agent.  Of course, the term “free” applies only because Jarrett posted bail to get out of jail.  And will any team be willing to take the monumental RISK of signing him?  Who would want an underachieving lush draining their bank account?  He could easily get his next DWI before his next TD.  Is the Arena League defunct?

Jarrett was arrested around 2:00am — i.e. closing time — for speeding while apparently intoxicated, and then he declined to take a breathalyzer test.  He instead opted for a blood test, for which the results won’t be available for a couple of weeks.  He must be thinking that the trojan network of “fixers” will be able to get the Carolina Police to “lose” the results before then, by bribing a lab technician, or by some other nefarious method.  And why shouldn’t he think that?  He has witnessed first-hand so many of his former trojan teammates and predecessors escape justice that you can hardly blame him for expecting to skate himself.  Maybe afterwards, he can go on a hunt for the REAL Drunk Drivers.

So… Jarrett’s final play for Carolina will forever be his NOT catching a crucial 4th Down pass that could have vaulted the winless Panthers over the Super Bowl Champion Saints, in the Superdome.  Could that play have caused Jarrett to lose his self-respect, get stinking drunk, get behind the wheel, and floor the accelerator, without any concern for public safety?  Or maybe it was his overall body of work that made him so depressed?  Or maybe he doesn’t even need a reason — Maybe it’s just some more of that World-famous trojan CHARACTER that Pete Carroll was famous for building, bubbling to the surface. 



  1. Jake Avatar

    You never lack for a good title lol

  2. Rick Avatar

    To wit:
    As a student: Flunk
    An athlete: Stunk
    His future,,,: [Plunk] !

  3. UCLADal Avatar

    pee wee will sign him up in Seattle. Fight On Dwayne!