Category: Blue & Gold News
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Once you go SCum, you can’t be our chum
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TraitorNation — If Benedict Norton is poached and scrambles back sunny side up, he’ll have more eggsplaining to do than Lucy Ricardo getting caught by Ricky in a menage a Mertz WE are THIS CLOSE to calling for an all-out boycott. We are also very close to PULLING THE PLUG ON THIS WEBSITE……
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THINGS ARE STARTING TO LOOK UP
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The “heis” the limit for UCLA Football with Neuheisel’s landing, even if Pete Carroll doesn’t fly off with the Falcons, who apparently, without Vick, are way below their sleaze quota Before we start with the so-called comedy, we first send out our best wishes to Bruin Point Guard Darren Collison, who is dealing…
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A: A hot, stokin’ SLAM, a pot-smokin’ SHAM, and a not-token “BAM!”
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Q: Name the Play of the Day for UCLA, the state of decay of Mayo, O.J., and what Madden did say, aimed M J-D’s way You know it’s a good day when the National Highlights are dominated by Bruins. The #1 highlight-reel play yesterday was supplied by UCLA Guard –…
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RICK’S DA BOMB
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Start spreadin’ the Neu’s: Many Bruin Football fans are feeling better about the Program’s future than ever before; If that’s you too, then it’s time to wear it with pride Neu T-Shirts — Get ’em while they’re hot. Well, not “hot” like “stolen,” but hot like “in demand,” because incoming…
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FRIGID AND SHAMED CARDINAL SHIPPED OUT FROM DOWNTOWN TO PERISH IN PALO ALTO
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Cardinal’s come-from-behind attack peters out, up against Love and friend Shipp, as UCLA uproots and de-flocks the Trees, 76-67 Click. Click. Double-click. Cick, click, click. That clicking sound you just heard was all the humorless Jesus Freaks who actually get offended when some disguting pedophiles are made the butt of a…
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SINGIN’ IN DeWAYNE
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Rick’s Reign begins with Walker-retention; Neu Honeymooners should make sure that Norton stays “Kramden” the Sewer And a-WAAAAY we go: Ricky-baby, you’re the greatest! Did you see KDOC’s “The Honeymooners” Marathon the other night? The Great One, Jackie Gleason, played Bus Driver Ralph Kramden, with Art Carney as Ed Norton,…
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FOR YOUR ‘HEIS ONLY (Because “Happy NEU Year” is too obvious)
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New Bruin Head Coach Rick Neuheisel makes it clear at the Press Conference: He only has ‘Heis for U (CLA), and it brings tears to our ‘Heis A Sports discussion, that wasn’t about anyone freshly dead, and it still brought tears to people’s eyes. The overwhelmingly sincere emotion in the…
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LEGALLY BLONDE
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Neuheisel takes the oath to follow the rules, and will try to keep Walker and add Chow; If he does, he’ll go from Legally Blonde to Regally Blonde. New Bruin Football Coach Rick Neuheisel is scheduled to be introduced today at a Press Conference on campus. The New Ruler will start…
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BRUINS HIRE ‘HEIS FOR HIGHER HIGHS
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Historic Day… for UCLA: In a bad omen for sc, Rick Neuheisel becomes Bruin Head Coach on same day that New England completes a perfect season WANTED: Experienced Compliance Officer. The UCLA Football Bruins filled their Head Coaching vacancy yesterday, selecting Bruin grad and Rose Bowl MVP Rick Neuheisel. Athletic Director Dan Guerrero wisely…
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BE PATIENT
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Bruins fans have less “patients” than Mel Gibson Dream Gynecologist’s clinic in Tel Aviv Where’s the fire? Why is everyone so up in arms about the duration of the search for the new UCLA Football Coach? UCLA Athletic Director Dan Guerrero is taking a lot of heat for his handling…
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IMMACULATE DEFLECTION
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BYU’s prayers are answered in Sin City when Forbath’s would-be Game-Winning Field Goal is partially blocked, preserving a 17-16 Las Vegas Bowl win and preventing a UCLA Miracle-Comeback-Doubleheader-Sweep Saturday VH-1 aired a 7-part Rockumentary this week, and the Heavy Metal section was titled “Never Say Die,” after the Black Sabbath…
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NAUGHTY BELLOTTI DUCKS THE BRUINS, HARD
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Duck Coach decoys Oregon; Isn’t interested in UCLA job (He doesn’t know what he’s missing) Bellotti? We think not-ty. We’re not calling out Mike Bellotti for screwing over UCLA and creating a new Pac-10 Rivalry, but it looks like Bellotti’s interest in coming to UCLA was greatly exaggerated. Bellotti took…