Author: ucladavid
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THE BLOCK MAMBA
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Honey From The Block — Tyler Honeycutt rattles off eight of the Bruins’ SIXTEEN Rejections, as dam-fine UCLA Beaver-blocks Oregon State, 69-61 How does a guy have SEVEN Turnovers and only 9 points, but still dominate the highlight reel? Just ask Tyler Honeycutt. The Bruin Forward led UCLA to a sloppy but convincing…
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MALCOLM MAULS MALLARDS
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Lee lays large load on lame Ducks, egging on Bruins to shoot down 8-point deficit and win going away, 64-54 All that Nike money, and Oregon still can’t get all their Ducks in a row. Actually, the Oregon Basketball team has improved dramatically this Season. They were expected to really…
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PACKERS NOT BOTTLED BY CHOKA-POLA
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TRoyal Clown Pola — No Gatorade for ex-trojan “Troy Goat” Polamalu, who gets burned on both of Green Bay’s final two Touchdowns, in The Pack’s 31-25 Super Bowl win over the Steelers Is it too late to take away Troy Polamalu’s Defensive Player of the Year Award? The ex-trojan who mysteriously…
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REEVES’ HEAVE BEATS STEVE
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Reeves Nelson hits a dramatic Three-Pointer to ruin Steve Lavin’s return to Pauley Pavilion, as Nelson’s 17 Rebounds and Joshua Smith’s 19 Points foul up foul-happy St. Johns in 66-59 triumph Quick and talented but extremely undisciplined and inconsistent team plays unstructured ball, relying on one player’s 1-on-1 skills, blows…
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IF THE LOVE FITS, YOU MUST ADMIT
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Ming Clause — To replace the injured Yao Ming, the NBA injects Love into the All-Star game, where he will re-unite with fellow Bruin Westbrook Feel Like Making Love… an All-Star? Well, the NBA did, and he’s not in Bad Company. Bruin greats Kevin Love and Russell Westbrook will be…
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ZEEK PEAKS, GEEKS REEK
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Get Your Zeek On — Howland’s Halftime tweaks deke weak-minded trojan freaks, turning bleak squeaker into something unique: A cheeky 64-50 streak-breaking veectory over u$c, who creaks in meekly with only 15 points in the 2nd Half, with Lazeric “Zeek” Jones’ sneaky blocked shot blowing up Troy like a heat-seeker It’s…
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ANOTHER HUGE (MU)STAIN ON U$C’S RECORD
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It’s a FELONY arrest for ex-trojan QB Mitch Mustain, for SELLING prescription Narcotics — That makes THREE ex-trojans busted just THIS WEEK MUStain couldn’t ABstain? Mitch Mustain, the back-up Quarterback for usc last year — who started only one game in his sc career… and LOST it to a weak Notre…
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SAY IT AIN’T SETO!!!
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The Daily trOJan is reporting that the totally unqualified ex-trojan Rocky Seto will be UCLA’s next Defensive Coordinator — Hopefully, it’s just a SCam to hurt the Bruins’ recruiting, on the eve of National Signing Day Would such a respected bastion of Journalism like the Daily Trojan stoop to such…
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“PERV” GRIFFEN GRABS ANOTHER SACK
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Ex-trojan Everson Griffen gets busted (again) for allegedly driving without a license, running away from Police, and attending (to) the Policeman’s Balls Did Pete Carroll just have the talent to RECOGNIZE this kind of “character” in a recruit, or did he DEVELOP it? Once again, a Carroll-groomed ex-trojan has run afoul…
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LAZERIC JONES & THE TEMPE OF DOOM
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Bruins of the Lost (& Found) Arc — The snake-bit Sun Devils go on a crusade in the desert and dig out of a 15-point hole to force OT, but Jones and the Bruins suddenly become arc-heologists, whipping up a holy trilogy of three’s to excavate lost treasure And just when…
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JUNK MAYO
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Stamp of disapproval — Yet ANOTHER cheating ex-trojan gets labelled as a Steroid Abuser, as the NBA delivers a $400,000, 10-game suspension to Memphis’ O. J. Mayo, while in a nearby Zip Code, the Titans mark ex-trojan Jeff Fisher “Return to Sender” O.J. Mayo is a Juicer? Well, that explains why he…
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LITTLE GOLD MAN FOR BLUE & GOLD MAN?
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UCLA grad James Franco gets nominated for the Best Actor Oscar, for his disarming performance in “127 Hours” Maybe no Bruin will win the Heisman Trophy any time soon, but a Bruin may win the Academy Award for Best Actor, in about 777 hours. James Franco — yes, the frenemy from “Spiderman”…