Month: March 2008
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IT’S A 1-DERFUL LIFE! ALL 4 #1’S SURVIVE TO MAKE FINAL FOUR AN ALL-TIME CLASSIC
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Kansas “Bailey” Escapes Davidson’s Capra-esque Finish and “Meats” John Doe, while Memphis turns Texas into Pottersville, full of Longhorn fans who bought pricey Final Four Tickets and are now getting drunk and wishing that they’d never been born Sometimes, “one” is NOT the loneliest number. For the first time in History, all four #1 Seeds have reached…
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LIKE TAKING CANDY FROM A BABY: BRUINS WHIP NOUGAT OUT OF MUSKETEERS TO CHOC. UP “THREE-TURN” TO FINAL FOUR
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LUC-ING FOR MR. GOODBAR, FONDA THE LOVE-LY PAYDAY: Don’t Snicker — M&Mbah (don’t call him “Butterfinger”) a Moute and Love are Good n’ Plenty in 76-57 binge over Xavier, that fattens UCLA’s resume for being the best in the Milky Way, Bar None, with 3rd straight Final Four appearance Sometimes…
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TEXAS ELECTRIFIES, FENCES LOPEZES OUT, 82-62
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No Amnesty for the Cardinal: Texas Chainsaws the Trees with 20-3 Second-Half Stand-Off, as their Twisters topple the Twin Towers, 82-62 Just when it looked like Stanford had figured out the Longhorns, all Hell broke loose. After trailing by about 6-10 points the whole game, Stanford made a 2nd Half run, by aggressively…
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KEEFER MADNESS
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James Keefe Sparks UCLA’s Sweet 16 Party, but Love is the Drug who Weeds out 12-Seed Western Kentucky and Stems the Burning up of a 21-point lead, which nearly goes up in a Puff of Bluegrass Smoke It was as frighteningly traumatic as a Viet Nam Vet’s Acid flashback, but UCLA fans can finally…
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McDONALD’S OPEN FOR JRUE-ISH HOLIDAY
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Jrue Deserves a Break Today: Bruin Commit Holiday scores 14 in McD All-Star Game, but “frustrated” trojan-to-be Derozan might have to grab a bucket and mop The immense talent gap between UCLA and usc is about to be Super-Sized. For the second straight year, Ben Howland has landed the Gatorade…
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A&M WRECKERS
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Label it an Instant Classic: Bruins record Blue & Gold Record 33rd win, as Texas A&M can’t stop the groovin’ Love – Collison Duo from spinning and scoring in 53-49 comeback thriller Finally — Some good news for O.J. Mayo: His “good friend” Kevin Love is going to the Sweet…
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LOVE AND LET DIE
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Licensed-to-Kill Kevin Love triggers Record-setting 70-29 Bruin Win (while usc doesn’t live to Die Another Day), but U(CLA) Only Live Twice if you overlook Texas A&M Tomorrow Never Dies… unless you’re usc. Fans in Omaha had A View To A Kill yesterday, as a humiliating 13-Point Upset Loss to ELEVENTH-SEEDED…
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usc: Where EVERYONE Majors in Armed Robbery (whether they want to or not)
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Bad Karma for O.J.U.? — In the wake of Simpson’s Armed Rob. and Kidnapping charges NOT being thrown out, two Armed Robberies occur IN usc CLASSROOMS For YEARS, we’ve been saying that paying tuition to usc for an education is like Highway Robbery. Well, we were close… When you CHOOSE to…
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Another Obedience SChool Dropout
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Ex-trojan “AireDale” White scooped up for Disobeying Police and Destruction of Property Fans of usc claim that it is NOT just a glorified Obedience School, and, it turns out that they are right: It isn’t glorified at all. In fact, calling it that would constitute an insult to Lassie, Rin…
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DANCING DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN
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What Is and What Should Never Be: Whole Lotta Love Plants UCLA at #1 in the West, and troy gets Paged Over the Hills and Far Away, but both teams are Jones-ing to Ramble On to the NCAA’s Stairway to Heaven How the West Was Won — The NCAA announced…
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DC IS CAPTAIN MARVEL, AS BRUIN SUPERHEROES – IN FAR FROM MINT CONDITION – WRAP UP PAC-10 TOURNEY TITLE, 67-64
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Iron Man-Flash Darren Collison Storms past Brookman & Robin for 28 Points, as UCLA Kapows Stanford, without Lucquaman, but with help from Superman Kevin Love, who comes back from the dead, from Superboy James Keefe, who comes out of nowhere, and from a COMICal Card decision that comes as a…
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UN-LUC-KY…BUT NOT TOO UNLUCKY — BRUINS DISPOSE OF TROJANS, 57-54
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Kevin Love spurs Bruin spurt at start of Second Half with 11 Points in 4 minutes, and UCLA withstands a late Mayo-led comeback, to overcome Luc’s injury and beat sc again (thanks to Mayo’s last-second choke) Pro Scouts, pay attention: O.J. Mayo should be getting paid to play. Make that, getting…