IT’S A 1-DERFUL LIFE! ALL 4 #1’S SURVIVE TO MAKE FINAL FOUR AN ALL-TIME CLASSIC

Hair Force One

Kansas “Bailey” Escapes Davidson’s Capra-esque Finish and “Meats” John Doe, while Memphis turns Texas into Pottersville, full of Longhorn fans who bought pricey Final Four Tickets and are now getting drunk and wishing that they’d never been born

Sometimes, “one” is NOT the loneliest number.

For the first time in History, all four #1 Seeds have reached the Final Four.  So without playing a single minute more, the UCLA Bruins have already added an indelible piece of NCAA Basketball History to their unparalleled collection of Honors.  No one can ever take away the distinction of being in the First Ever All-#1 Seed Final Four.  It’s going to be something that will be mentioned repeatedly, for years and years to come, and regardless of what transpires next week, UCLA will always be associated with the Historic Final Four.  ESPN is already dubbing it “The Fabulous Four.”  Could that be because “The Fantastic Four” was taken?  ESPN tried to rent the rights to the name, but Jessica Alba said no.

The Bruins and Tarheels were joined by the Tigers and Jayhawks yesterday, when Memphis dismantled the Longhorns — whose Austin  locale is only 80 miles from the Final Four-host Alamodome — by 18, 85-67.  The victory was just as decisive as the Bruins’ win over Xavier, but Texas was within 5 in the Second Half, so it isn’t like Memphis is in another stratosphere.  Their Freshman sensation Derrick Rose is the real deal, but the Tigers don’t look like they are just going to be able to thwart the Bruin Double-Teams the same way Florida did.  Memphis looks susceptible to good team Defense, and since the Bruins beat them 50-45 in the ’06 Tournament, it’s not like Memphis has the Bruins’ number or anything.  And they may have added Rose, but the Bruins didn’t have Kevin Love in ’06 either.

Also, don’t forget that Memphis played sc this year, and couldn’t put any distance between themselves and the thugs.  That puts the Tigers squarely in the category of “beatable.”  The betting public seems to agree, as the point Spread is hovering around “Even.”  In the other side of the Bracket, North Carolina is favored by a few points over Kansas, who should feel fortunate just to be going to San Antonio.  The Jayhawks played a very tough and see-sawish game against little Davidson, who was trying to become the first #10 Seed ever in the Final Four (there have been #12 Seeds, but never a #10).

Davidson’s Stephen Curry, who was averaging over 30 points a game in the Tourney, missed his first four shots, and went 9-for-25 on the night.  He still scored 25, and had the ball at the end of the game with a chance to win it.  But the Jayhawks Double-teamed him hard, and forced him to give it up.  His teammate heaved up a last-second shot that didn’t draw iron, and Kansas held on, 59-57.

Kansas’ MVP was Reserve Big Man Sasha Kaun, who scored 13 and grabbed 6 Rebounds.  He played a great game, but a team with Kevin Love probably isn’t losing any sleep over getting swindled by this Kaun Man.  Especially since North Carolina looked more than a few points better than Kansas this weekend.  But, Davidson has a tendency to make teams look bad.  Also, if not for the singular efforts of Tyler Hansbrough in the Second Half of North Carolina’s Elite Eight game against Louisville, it would be Rick Pitino’s Cardinal squad getting ready for the Jayhawks.  The point is that if “Psycho T” has an off night (not likely) or gets in foul trouble (slightly less unlikely), North Carolina becomes very vulnerable. 

Speaking of vulnerable, the Lakers found themselves vulnerable to an ex-trojan last night.  The Lakers were hosting the Washington Wizards, for whom Nick Young rides the pine.  But with star Gilbert Arenas unavailable, Young must have begged for a chance to play at Staples, in front of all his homies, and so close to his old “school.”   The Coach obliged, and Young WENT OFF for a Career Night of 27 Points.  HOWEVER…

…after leading his Underdog team to an Overtime-forcing Road comeback, he proceded to CHOKE the game away.  In the final minute of OT, he made the two deadly mistakes:  While UP by ONE point, he threw the ball away,  and then, DOWN by ONE, they called a play for him, apparently not realizing that even with a hot hand he’s still a burst-under-pressure trOJan.  And with 19 seconds left, he threw up a prayer 17-footer that didn’t draw tin.  The Lakers then won out at the Free Throw line, while Young was probably waving gleefully to his known associates in the crowd.

So if some trojan at work wants to brag at you about how much Young scored against the Lakers, make sure he knows what happened after he went to bed:  Another trojan choke that cost his team a big game.  But at least all his friends who came to see him play got to see him shoot a lot.  With trojans and ex-trojans, it is never about the team or the school – it’s always about SELF.

And speaking of “schools,” here are 5 photos from the last time Kansas got schooled in the Postseason —Those Jayhawks sure stretched for a long time.

THE FINAL FRONT TIER — Kansas, Memphis, NC, & and UCLA, boldly going where no team has gone before

Kansas will be “just happy to be there.”

Even though we’ve got “Traffic on the Ones,” don’t expect Rush Hour to materialize.  This guy has NOT exactly been the Jackie Chan of March Madness (more like the Chris Tucker)

Hey, Homer (not O.J.) Simpson fans:  Look — It’s Superintendent (and) Chalmers

Comments

2 responses to “IT’S A 1-DERFUL LIFE! ALL 4 #1’S SURVIVE TO MAKE FINAL FOUR AN ALL-TIME CLASSIC”

  1. Josephine Bruin Avatar
    Josephine Bruin

    BEAT THE TIGERS!!!!!!

    GO BRUINS!!!!

  2. Robert Avatar
    Robert

    A quick question, what happened to your list of “infamous trojans?” will you put it up again in the future, or are you simply adding names to the list?

    [T-H’s Note: It was always there. The link was called “The Blotter,” but since you didn’t get it, I just changed it back to “Infamous trOJans.”]