Category: Non-Rivalry News
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FLOYD BAILS ON GARRETT, ORLANDO SAILS ON MERIT, FERRELL FAILS TO SCARE IT, AND CARROLL… MOLESTS YOUNG BOYS?
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SC’s Basketball Coach “resigns” (but leaves scandal behind); The Magic and Superman earn Game 3 win (but are still behind 2-1); Troy Superfan’s $100 Million dino flick tanks, earning less than $20 Mil (finishing miles behind “The Hangover”); And Pom Pom tries to screw Neuheisel’s kids (leaving no child behind),…
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MAGIC-LEE DELICIOUS
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Lakers are lucky, charmed, and 2-0, as Orlando’s Stars show Heart, but Courtney Lee’s marshmallows go soggy, allowing L.A. to milk out a 101-96 win in Overtime This is the way it was supposed to be. The Lakers aren’t really 25 points better than the Magic. These are actually two…
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MAGIC POWER OUTAGE
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Kobe’s Allied Forces Fight the Good Fight All the Way, and Lay it on the Line to turn Orlando’s powerful Superman into an Ordinary Man in 100-75 Triumph But HOLD ON — Even though L.A. Tore the Roof Off tonight, and the Writing is on the Wall, it’s Just a…
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TORRE, TORII, TORI, (HIS-)TORY
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The “Tories” are the Toast of the Town, but King James is just Toast: Joe knows, Hunter crows, Tori glows, but LeBron blows “Amazing Tories” A long time ago, the California Angels had a great Color Commentator named Joe Torre. Joe was a former ballplayer who knew the game inside…
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SKIPPER & LITTLE BUDDY SHISHKA-BOB DENVER
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All Hale Kobe Bryant, Trevor Ariza, and the Lakers’ fearless crew, as they cast away the Nuggets 119-92, and look to avoid a re-run of last season’s un-comedic NBA Finals Series Finale The next one’s for the Whole Ma-gilla(gan). Whatchu talkin’ ’bout, Gilles? The Lakers’ tiny ship was tossed, but not only does…
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ALL HAIL HALO’S AND HELIO
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Just Another Halo (& Helio) Victory: Castroneves dodges Dan & Danica, then burns rubber on a seriously wide-open Freeway to win his 3rd Indy 500, while Angels burn Dodgers, winning 3rd & rubber game of Freeway Series He-men of the World can breathe easy: Despite getting a scare from Danica…
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KOBE SUCKS… THE LIFE OUT OF DENVER
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As Nugget fans chant “Kobe sucks,” Kobe sucks all the air out of the arena, by dominating the final minutes in the Lakers’ 103- 97 Game 3 win; Trevor Ariza hits 2 big 4th quarter 3’s and snatches a game-changing, last-minute steal (again!) to help Bryant give the homecourt advantage back to L.A.…
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FILET-O-FISH
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Not-So-Happy Meal: Instead of frying Nuggets, Derek Fisher’s hotly-contested, last-second airball guts the Lakers’ home court advantage Don’t blame Derek Fisher. It wasn’t Derek’s fault that he got nothing but air on his desperation 3-pointer at the end of Game 2. Nene, a very tall Nugget defender, was flying in his…
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CARMELO’S NUGGETS DRAINED BY ARIZA’S SNATCH
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Bruin/Laker Trevor Ariza’s huge steal with 30 seconds left helps L.A. sack the Nuggets 105-103, despite trailing for most of the game Another Laker Playoff Victory, another double-Bruin 4th quarter contribution, and this time, the contribution included the game-saving Play of the Night. The Denver Nuggets came into town fired up,…
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BRUINS BOLDLY GO WHERE NO TROJAN WILL GO THIS YEAR
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As the prosperous new Star Trek warps past $100 Million, Ariza, Farmar, and the Lakers topple the Rockets to land in the Conference Finals, while Scalabrine, Pruitt, and the Celtics are beamed away Prime Directive #1: Eliminate all trojans. That’s exactly what Orlando did last night — They knocked out…
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NICE
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Pauley renovation, Laker renovation, and another UCLA NCAA Title — All that and two National Championships taken away from the trojans BY Bruins — a lot of nice things have been going down lately Three times more bathrooms. That alone is worth $180 Million. For anyone who has ever tried to go to the Rest…
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HE’S HALF THE MANNY USED TO BE
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Manny Being Womanny: Suspended 50 games for taking female fertility drugs commonly used after steroids, Ramirez has everyone changing their minds about his Hall of Famer status Manny Ramirez just went from being mentioned in the same breath with legendary athlete (and Bruin) Jackie Robinson, to being forever associated with presumed steroid abuser…