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Manny Being Womanny:  Suspended 50 games for taking female fertility drugs commonly used after steroids, Ramirez has everyone changing their minds about his Hall of Famer status

Manny Ramirez just went from being mentioned in the same breath with legendary athlete (and Bruin) Jackie Robinson, to being forever associated with  presumed steroid abuser (and ex-trojan) Mark McGwire.

This week, Ramirez was suspended for 50 games, for taking a female fertility drug that happens to be on the Major League’s Banned Substance list.  Ramirez says that it was just an accident, and that his Doctor gave it to him for a personal medical problem, thinking that it was not a banned item.

Apparently, the medical problem is sexual.  The drug he took is supposed to — when taken by Men — kickstart testosterone production.  Allegedly, the reason to take medication for that is to overcome erectile dysfunction.  Of course, if that is the only problem, Viagra or Cialis would be a much more likely answer.

But if the need to kickstart the testosterone is caused by coming off a Steroid cycle, then this is the drug of choice.  So while Manny trumpets the fact that he has passed several steroid drug tests over the past few years, the public is starting to realize that all his mighty exploits were not naturally attained… and that buying clean urine is not that tough for a Millionaire ballplayer.

When he hit over .500 in last year’s Playoffs, even while opponents were trying to pitch around him, didn’t you wonder if he was Superman?

Well, it seems like all the Heroes of Baseball are turning out to be miracles of modern science.  A quick recount recalls the names A-Rod, Bonds, Clemens, Corky Sosa, Gagne, Palmeiro, Canseco, McGwire, and now Ramirez.  That’s one hell of a line-up… for the All-Drug Olympics.

Since Manny carried the Dodgers last year, you have to consider their whole ’08 Playoff run as “tainted,” just like sc’s BCS Title, and Bush’s Heisman.

However, the Dodgers are still poised to make a deep Playoff run in ’09, too.  With Manny gone for only a couple of months, the Dodgers’ 5.5-game lead may hold up until he gets back on July 3rd.  The weak N.L. West shouldn’t be a problem for the Manny-less Dodgers, and with a fresh, well-rested Manny returning to form by the Fall, there’s no reason why the Dodgers won’t be playing into October.  Actually, the only reason would be if the CLEAN ManRam can’t still hit with the tenacity that defies his 36 years of age.  And that’s assuming that he stays clean under the microscope, as opposed to doing whatever he did to pass all those previous tests.

And speaking of passing the test, former UCLA Point Guard Jordan Farmar has been taking a lot of heat lately, for not performing as well as he did last season, and for “losing his job” to Shannon Brown.  But last night, Farmar was tested by having to fill in for suspended Starter Derek Fisher, and Farmar aced the exam.

Farmar outhustled everyone else on the court, overcoming his weak outside shooting (0-3 from behind the arc) with all-around energy, effort and excellence.  Farmar ran the Laker Offense, as L.A. went into Houston, took an early lead, and led through most of the game.  They were up by 2 at the Half, and by 12 after 3, keeping the lead around 8-12 for most of the 4th Quarter.

So basically, the Lakers handled the Rockets better IN HOUSTON with Farmar at the helm than they did in L.A., with Fisher running the show.  Not to malign the great Derek Fisher, who is an honorable member of the permanent Laker monument of greatness, but his overzealous retaliation to a Rocket’s misbehavior made him (deservedly) sit out Game 3 of the series.  The suspension left Phil Jackson in a quandary, not confident that Brown and/or Farmar could fill in for “Littlerock.”  He even said to the Live, National Televison crowd, that one of his young Guards will have to step up and show something… as if they hadn’t shown anything so far to encourage him.

But Jackson gave Farmar his first Start of the Season, and Phil did NOT regret it.  Farmar went on to log more than twice as many minutes as Brown, because he earned it.  Jordan was in during crunchtime, and scored 12 Points in the game, but his 7 Assists — versus only 1 Turnover –were more important.  The Lakers’ 108-94 victory can be traced directly to the fact that they committed only 6 Turnovers for the whole game — compared to 17 for the Rockets — with Farmar in charge.    Jordan also added 5 Rebounds, a Block, and 2 Steals, as he totally stifled Rockets’ Point Guard Aaron Brooks (7 Points, 1 Assist, 3 Turnovers).

The Lakers were flat out BETTER WHEN FARMAR WAS ON THE FLOOR.  And if you think this is Homerism at its worst, check the box score.  When Farmar was in, the Lakers outscored Houston by 18 Points.  No one on the floor did better — Not even Kobe, who scored 33, and was sensational.  Kobe was +17, and Bruin Trevor Ariza was next at +16.  How cool is it to have TWO-FIFTHS of the Lakers’ Starting Five be Bruins?  And Farmar wasn’t the only one who contributed on Friday night — Ariza hit three of his four three’s, scoring 13, grabbing 5 Rebounds, and Stealing the ball away from Houston FOUR times.

And again, if you think all this pro-Bruin chatter is just Homerism, check the ESPN tape.  TWO different Announcers agreed that Farmar, not Fisher, should start Game 4.  Not that Farmar is better than Fish, but that Farmar played so much better as a Starter, with so much more confidence, that you could have Fisher spruce up the second unit, leave Farmar starting, and that way, get more out of both of them as a tandem.

I actually disagree with them.  Fisher DESERVES to be the Starter, and shouldn’t lose his spot because of the suspension, or because Farmar had a good game Starting.  As Kobe said in the postgame interview, Farmar has plenty of confidence, and doesn’t NEED to start to play well.  He will be just fine coming off the bench, as long as he gets a chance.  The only point on which these guys are correct is that Farmar DOES match up better against Brooks than against Brooks’ (stronger, bulkier) back-up, so it does help Farmar to be in when Brooks is in, and Brooks DOES start.

One thing that was missing from their discussion:  Shannon Brown.  Hopefully, at least until another team has tougher match-ups, Farmar has put Brown’s challenge behind him.  Of course, knowing Phil’s penchant for taller Guards, Farmar will put the challenge behind him, just like Manny will put steroids behind him.  And by the end of their seasons, both Farmar and Manny could be World Champions… but only one of them will be a real hero.

And here are some photos of the OTHER one (with hidden, mouse-over captions):

Don’t feel bad for Torre — The suspension will HELP, by giving valuable experience to the players who actually NEED it.

It’s not REALLY aboout keeping his tip up.

Everything was going great last year (although he almost broke Ethier’s wrist with this high five)…

…until an unfortunately-placed tag at second may have started the Erectile Dysfunction ball rolling.

Ever since he started taking the female drugs, Manny’s been much more concerned with his manicure.

…in fact, he’s been pretty gentle, sensitive, and touchy-feely lately.

…but the result is that Manny will be on the outside looking in… but just for 2 months.

"HE’S HALF THE MANNY USED TO BE" was published on May 9th, 2009 and is listed in Blue & Gold News, Non-Rivalry News, Non-Rivalry Photos, UCLA/usc/Sports Photos.

Comments on "HE’S HALF THE MANNY USED TO BE": 3 Comments

  1. SCopper wrote,

    Say it ain’t so!

  2. SVCA to SCMO wrote,

    The best captions to pictures you’ve ever done!

    I feel zero sorrow for the Dodgers. They knew Ramirez was a head case when they got him. They’re lucky something hasn’t happened before now. The Red Sox are (justifyably) getting a good laugh at the Dodgers’ expense.

  3. UCLADal wrote,

    Manny must have been hanging out with the ding-a-ling Ting bros.

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