Category: News from the Dark Side
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SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION
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Oooooh! Aaaaah! — There will be Fireworks on Opening Night, in the sky as well as on the sidelines, if not on the field, as Shell-shocked UCLA gets the bombshell that Sheller could be shelved. Are the Bruins being Punk’d? Just as they decide to light the punk — to set off…
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FRIG-O-RAMA ON FIGUEROA
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Mayo/Fig. Tech probe deepens, like hole Lakers are in after blowing 24-point lead in Game 4 to go down to Celtics 1-3 in Finals (Virgin Territory for an eventual NBA Champ) Figueroa Constrictor — And the noose tightens… Usc and the Lakers have both just screwed themselves, because of complacency. Southern Cal is embroiled in a multi-agency…
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POWE SMOKERS
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Paulie & the Powe-boys lay down 31 dimes to take Credence from the Lakers’ Record Revival, and take a 2-0 choke-hold on Finals Too LA-git to quit. Sure, the Lakers lost Game 2 in Boston 108-102 to fall behind 0-2 in the Series… but it is the Lakers who carry momentum back to Los…
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“All we need is one P.I.N., Rodney!”
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O.J. Mayo will NOT be charged, even if he cashed in on Rodney Guillory’s Sickle Cell Credit Card Another day, another skating trOJan. The California Attorney General announced this week that ex-trojan O.J. Mayo is not a target of their investigation into the fraudulent use of a bogus charity credit…
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UCLAkers vs. SCeltics
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Goin’ a Courtin’: 3 L.A. Bruins and 2 Boston trojans will hit the court to court Rings, while 3 other trojans are going to Court, and could get rung up “Don’t Look Back” might have been one of the rock band Boston’s biggest hits, but it’s hard to NOT look…
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NO SHEET, SHERLOCK
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USC Football Asst. Coach WATSON is 4th “Carrollista DUI” this year. So why would his record be expunged? Like a trojan’s education, it’s Elementary Do they give a Group Rate for DUI’s? Is it “With Four you get Egg Roll?” We’re talking Platters of Pu-Pu for Lofa Tatupu, Dwayne Jarrett,…
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SAVE THE WAILS
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Trojan fans are asinine and out-of-line to whine “Decline,” since their Girls still shine like our Fine Nine (just not quite as brightly) Another series of brutal assaults victimizing trojan co-eds related to the usc Athletic Department? Well, at least this time, the attacks are verbal… but still very hurtful, and of…
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EVEN GUYS WITH DUI’S CAN’T SURMISE HOW SC LIES BUT NEVER FRIES
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Chuggin’ Huggins dug the trouble-lugging thug, but stopped tugging because he knew that taking Mayo would be begging for a mugging So usc Head Basketball Coach Tim Floyd has WORSE JUDGEMENT than a guy who got caught drinking and driving? Bob Huggins is currently the Head Coach at West Virginia, after…
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DUFFY THE EMPIRE SLAYER
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Un-Dead and Loving It: Mayo’s former Agent, who might suck the life out of usc, Counts his Blood Money losses at a batty $250,000, after major pain-in-the-neck O.J. severs ties; Meanwhile, yet ANOTHER ex-trojan Basketballer gets arrested and denies all wrongdoing No good story ever started with the words “O.J.…
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LOFA GETS PINCHED
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Tatupu’s reputation is swirling around the bowl, after he becomes the 3rd allegedly wasted-behind-the-wheel ex-trojan in 3 months to get scooped up Another ex-trojan’s sparkling image just got flushed down the Troy-let, when Seattle cops arrested usc Legacy Lofa Tatupu for apparent Drunk Driving. The Police say that Lofa was…
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DON’T BUY SPOILED MAYO NAYS
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O.J. Mayo is jarred by ESPN’s irrefutable proof of illegal benefits (in Hi-Def), but just like Reggie Bush, he STILL just says Nay. O.J. Mayo knows: It takes more than solid physical evidence to convict a blatantly-guilty ex-trojan named O.J. in Los Angeles. And THAT is why Mayo is in…
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CARDINAL & GOLD-DIGGERS
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For the Love of Money: The OJ’s Love Train is derailed by Back Stabbers, as Simpson’s Weed-induced confession and Mayo’s Greed-induced procession are revealed It’s all about “the company you keep.” O.J. Simpson surrounded himself with “friends” who were really just shady, brown-nosed weasels who just wanted to cash in…