Category: Blue & Gold News
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TOTAL RECALL NOT DUE TO VIXEN-FIXIN’
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If the fix has been in, how come this 9-peat has NEVER happened before? In the quasi-classic Sci-Fi film “Total Recall,” Ahhnold’s character selects a woman who is “sleazy and demure.” UCLA Spirit Squad Director Mollie, and her Professional panel of non-partisan Judges, were selecting for something completely different. 32…
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ONLY “CUT” IS CUT TO THE CHACE
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Bruin Spirit Dream Team wins the chase to stay in place, but dispirited Bruin Chace will chase his dream in another place It’s Official: All your favorite (non-graduating) UCLA Spirit Squad members will return for an encore performance that lasts a whole year. All nine members of the World’s Greatest…
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BREAKING NEWS: UCLA DANCE TEAM STAYS INTACT
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The Final List for UCLA’s Spirit Squad is out, and it appears that the Nine Dance Teamers were all invited back Unless there is a duplicate first name and we’re making a terrible mistake, it appears that all nine members of the Dance Team passed the audition to return for…
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CLOSER — by NINE INCH (thumb)NAILS
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We bring you Closer to God: Why buck a Trent? Here’s another batch of hi-Rez(nor), heavenly, from-the-inside “Closer-Ups” (“Help me — I’ve got no soul to sell.”) Why do birds, suddenly appear, every time, you are near? Just like me, they long to be, Close to You(CLA). From “Nine Inch Nails” to…
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NEU KIDS ON THE BLOCK PARTY
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The UCLA Spring Scrimmage shows that Neuheisel and Chow are starting the Neu Edition from Menudo, getting In Sync, and turning Boys 2 Men, while searching the Backstreets for more Beasties Rick Neuheisel could make a Root Canal fun. And it’s a good thing for 15,000 Bruin fans that he can. …
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SPRINGTIME FOR ‘HEISEL AND GERMANE-KNEES
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Don’t be stupid, be a smarty, come and joint the “NotS-C” Party: Concentration at Camp-ending Scrimmage will be trained on Dwindler’s List of Bruin Survivors This week at UCLA is all about Survival. The Spirit Squad Final selections will come out on Wednesday night, and we hope that none of…
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NOT READY FOR “NOT READY FOR PRIMETIME PLAYERS”
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LIVE, FROM NEU-CHOW, IT’S SATURDAY NIGHT! (Lite) — ForLORN(E) and injured QB Blues Brothers (It’s Pat and Killer B) know it’ll be CURTINs for the NEWMAN being CHASEd by DeWayne’s World Land Sharks Do you like Defensive struggles? If not, it’s going to be a struggle to be at the Rose…
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THE LAMBORGHINI’S OF LIMBER GENIES
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Get your motor running: The nimble and sporty models who have the power to grant your wildest wishes, stretch it to the Redline Wouldn’t you just love to bottle them up and keep them forever? Well, you can’t get the genies back in their bottles, but maybe Mollie and the Judges can. …
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Mollie’s Follies
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If you got your jollies from Pauley’s Dollies, hold your lollies: The Final Roster won’t be announced until April 30th (at 5pm!) Good Golly, Miss Mollie — The suspense is going to kill us. And if WE, as outside observers, are on pins and needles, imagine what the Girls are…
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AWE-DISHIN’
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UCLA Spirit Squad Try-outs: An awesome display of talent, beauty, and grace that asks the Judges to do the impossible. 1777 photos. No, that’s not a typo. That’s One thousand, seven hundred and seventy-seven photos. That’s what it took — in 5 hours — to TRY to capture some of the elegance and…
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ET TU, MOUTE?
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Brutal week: The Decline of the Bruin Empire continues, as even Mbah a Moute — who’d be more comfortable a-roamin’ in Togo than in a Roman toga — says he’ll take a stab at the NBA, but doesn’t hire an agent either, so these may not be his famous last…
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LOVE TAPS
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Love Lies Bleeding: Kevin Love pulls the plug on his UCLA career; Russell Westbrook also declares for the NBA Draft, but neither player hires an Agent The only viable scenario left that has Kevin Love returning to UCLA for his Sophomore season is one where Kevin sustains an injury. Where’s…