From a Vi-e-knees Waltz to a Major (Von) Trapp, in oven-like conditions

Don’t be stupid, be a smarty, come and joint the “NotS-C” Party:  Concentration at Camp-ending Scrimmage will be trained on Dwindler’s List of Bruin Survivors

This week at UCLA is all about Survival.  The Spirit Squad Final selections will come out on Wednesday night, and we hope that none of (y)our favorites get voted off of the (Fantasy) Island, but frankly, we are more worried about the current state of the Football Team’s Offense.  And tonight, at the session-completing Spring Scrimmage at the Rose Bowl, that Offense will get exposed to a large audience for the first time.

It will also be most fans’ first impression of Rick Neuheisel and Norm Chow, and considering the problems that those two are dealing with right now, this is one time where first impressions should NOT be lasting ones.

It was already known that the Bruins’ Offensive Line was going to be a liability this season, but then a projected starter left the team with an injury, and things got worse.  Players struggled with False Starts, as they tried to master new assignments.  Their relative ineptitude was most likely a factor in scrappy Pat Cowan beating out the less-adaptable Ben Olson for the starting QB job.  But just as things were starting to jell for the O-Line, BOTH Cowan and Olson go down with freak, NON-CONTACT injuries.

Cowan hurt his knee ligaments, again, and might need Season-ending surgery.  Olson wasn’t quite as unlucky.  He broke a bone in his foot — while planting — and will be out of action for two months.  Obviously, neither will play in tonight’s Scrimmage.  On Thursday, Kevin Craft and Chris Forcier took all the rest of the QB snaps, but based on Coach Rick Neuheisel’s post-practice comments, it sounds like Osaar Rasshan will also get a crack at the job, and that crack will probably start tonight.  Just remember, if he dazzles you with his feet, it doesn’t mean that he is the correct choice to start over the other two guys.  It just means that his elusive ability HAS to be incorporated into the Offensive attack, even if he isn’t the Starting QB.

It’s hard to imagine that the Bruins will supply the fans with any Offensive fireworks tonight — not even on Special Teams.  Perhaps Neuheisel has some tricks up his sleeve to give the Offense an advantage, because if they get shut out for the whole Scrimmage, the fans are going to be upset, and Neuheisel doesn’t seem like the type of guy who wants the fans to go away mad.  Maybe Norm Chow has a trick play or two that can keep the crowd interested, and give them hope for what’s looking to be like a Season of severely Lowered Expectations.

Now, raise your expectations, for 9 more Cheerleader Shots that are meant to get you in the mood to get your butts out to the game tonight.  This was going to be the “lead” shot, but the other one had more “knees” in it.  

The Kristin/Kara Klub — NOw there’s a “KKK” that I’d let march through my ‘hood.

Kristin, Kara, and (Cheer Squad) Katie — Another “KKK” (sans the Grand Wizards), who could burn a cross in my heart with just their eyes.

Instead of “germane knees,” it was going to be Springtime for ‘Heisel and “German-Bri,” but WHO KNOWS if she really is?

Could this really be the last time on the Rose Bowl sideline for a member of the Spirit Squad?

“Excuse me sir, but would you mind moving back a little, before I kick you in the teeth?”

So ya think that KL has “Elise with an option to buy?”  As long as our headline on Thursday is NOT:  “Elise doesn’t live here any more.”

Maybe not her best Head Shot ever, but this one is solely for the guy who can’t stop raving about her curves.

And that’s The End.  Now, Get Smart, forget The History of the World, When Things Were Rotten, get out of your 12 Chairs, and go show The Producers of this stuff some Silent support, by Blazing over to our merchandise store at Ludicrous Speed and Saddling up Wilder than Brooks and Dunn.



  1. SV to SC Avatar
    SV to SC

    A Brooks and Dunn reference from you? A cold front must have passed through hell.

  2. michael Avatar

    I’m really proud to be a Bruin, especially when we have such a beautiful group of girls on the dance team. They are no comparison to the usc squad! And those pics of Kara are incredible. I saw her at the scrimmage on Saturday and I felt like I was watching a movie star!