Author: ucladavid
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BREAKING NON-NEWS: NO DECISIONS YET
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Ben Howland said today in his Press Conference that the Los Angeles Times’ reports were ERRONEOUS, and that Kevin Love and Darren Collison did NOT already tell him that they were leaving. That doesn’t mean they are staying, just that no announcement is being made today. Apparently, the families will…
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DEPRESS CONFERENCE: If Love, DC, and Westy go Pro, Bruin fans may go Prozac
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UCLA’s roster may Shrink today, as Howland’s Press Conference could reveal if any imPatient Bruins are escaping to pursue their (Zo)lofty NBA goals Brace yourselves. And try not to go Mental. According to the L.A. Times, it is possible that Kevin Love, Darren Collison, and Russell Westbrook could all declare for the NBA Draft this year, with…
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THE CHALM BEFORE THE STORM: Comeback-culminating Chalmers chuck chases Calipari’s chaotic chokers to O.T., where Kansas tornadoes the Tigers and Chalmer heads prevail
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IllogiCalipari: Memphis Coach, out-Coached by Self, blames self for 75-68 National Championship collapse You know the DVD that chronicles the 2008 Memphis Tigers’ Magical Season, complete with Kevin Love getting posterized in the Final Four? Cancel it. Bruin fans can relax now — The worst moment of Kevin Love’s UCLA career,…
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APRIL CHOW-ERS
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Several Bruins may flower after being nourished by a steady Reign of Chow Philosophy With Memphis’ Perfect Storm raining out the thunderstruck UCLA Basketball Team’s Season on Saturday, there’s not much left to do, except speculate ignorantly about ALL FIVE STARTERS, and whether they are leaving UCLA prematurely to go Pro this…
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FRIED (BY) CALIPARI
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Bruins are just appetizers for Hungry Tigers, whose tentacle-armed Guards make UCLA’s ink-redible season squid to a halt, 78-63 Once again, the Bruins made it to the Oyster Bar, but couldn’t find the Pearl Necklace. Because at the Piano Bar, Memphis Head Coach John Calipari inserted a CD-R, and laid a Rose…
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BOXING OUTSIDE THE THINK
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UCLA is getting into the Ring and taking off the Gloves, as the Neu Regime releases its Opening Salvo in the Fight for L.A. Football Spring Practice is underway in Westwood, as it is every year at this time, but THIS year, there’s something different in the air: An air of confidence, excitement,…
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THE CHARDONNAY AND BRI SET
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Cork the cheesey wine-ing: Here’s a liberal pour of vintage Brianna saying cheese (long before her CURRENT Reign as Sports Illustrated’s Cheerleader of the Week) “Welcome to the Party, Pal!” The Bruce Willis catchphrase from “Die Hard” is today’s message, to Sports Illustrated. Thanks to several readers who wrote in, we…
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TEX MESSAGE
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With Final Four on TAP, CLICKING Bruins get spurred on to San Antonio by spirited campus Send-Off The UCLA Bruins are in San Antoinio right now, preparing to play in their third consecutive Final Four. But before they boarded the bus, they received an incoming message from thousands of well-wishers: …
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JILT BY ASSOCIATION: AP SAYS O.J. DIDN’T MAKE THE CUT
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The Associated Press shows Mayo no Love, slicing O.J. from their All-American 3rd Team in favor of Darren Collison, and makes Kevin Love part of an Associated Precedent: The 1st-ever Seniorless 1st Team. For the second time in two days, Kevin Love’s name has been carved into Basketball History. On Sunday, he…
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IT’S A 1-DERFUL LIFE! ALL 4 #1’S SURVIVE TO MAKE FINAL FOUR AN ALL-TIME CLASSIC
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Kansas “Bailey” Escapes Davidson’s Capra-esque Finish and “Meats” John Doe, while Memphis turns Texas into Pottersville, full of Longhorn fans who bought pricey Final Four Tickets and are now getting drunk and wishing that they’d never been born Sometimes, “one” is NOT the loneliest number. For the first time in History, all four #1 Seeds have reached…
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LIKE TAKING CANDY FROM A BABY: BRUINS WHIP NOUGAT OUT OF MUSKETEERS TO CHOC. UP “THREE-TURN” TO FINAL FOUR
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LUC-ING FOR MR. GOODBAR, FONDA THE LOVE-LY PAYDAY: Don’t Snicker — M&Mbah (don’t call him “Butterfinger”) a Moute and Love are Good n’ Plenty in 76-57 binge over Xavier, that fattens UCLA’s resume for being the best in the Milky Way, Bar None, with 3rd straight Final Four appearance Sometimes…
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TEXAS ELECTRIFIES, FENCES LOPEZES OUT, 82-62
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No Amnesty for the Cardinal: Texas Chainsaws the Trees with 20-3 Second-Half Stand-Off, as their Twisters topple the Twin Towers, 82-62 Just when it looked like Stanford had figured out the Longhorns, all Hell broke loose. After trailing by about 6-10 points the whole game, Stanford made a 2nd Half run, by aggressively…