Author: ucladavid
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IRON MAN HAS FREEZING PROBLEM
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BRY ICE: After leading by 5 at Halftime, Kobe and Lakers freeze up like Iron Man and go Down(ey) in Series, 0-1 The Los Angeles Lakers went into BRYogenic Deep Freeze on Thursday night, losing a Road game that was up for grabs as the NBA Finals got under way…
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LET’S GET IT ON
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Boston Lethal: It’s Showtime again, but if the Lakers are dead to you, you’re Crossing Jordan Coronation or Coroner — Which will be called for after Jordan Farmar and the Los Angeles Lakers renew their long-lost-but-not-deceased Rivalry with the Boston Celtics? Die-hard Bruin fans should be hoping that the Finals Exams done by…
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“All we need is one P.I.N., Rodney!”
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O.J. Mayo will NOT be charged, even if he cashed in on Rodney Guillory’s Sickle Cell Credit Card Another day, another skating trOJan. The California Attorney General announced this week that ex-trojan O.J. Mayo is not a target of their investigation into the fraudulent use of a bogus charity credit…
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UCLAkers vs. SCeltics
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Goin’ a Courtin’: 3 L.A. Bruins and 2 Boston trojans will hit the court to court Rings, while 3 other trojans are going to Court, and could get rung up “Don’t Look Back” might have been one of the rock band Boston’s biggest hits, but it’s hard to NOT look…
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BLAZING SAD-DLES
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On the day that “Hedley Lamarr” rides off into the Sunset, “Heady” Lamar, Wilder Sheriff Kobe, and the Lakers Polish off the Spurs The World has seen the last live performances of two Legends: Comedian Harvey Korman, and the San Antonio Spurs Dynasty. Korman passed away yesterday at the age of 81,…
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NO SHEET, SHERLOCK
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USC Football Asst. Coach WATSON is 4th “Carrollista DUI” this year. So why would his record be expunged? Like a trojan’s education, it’s Elementary Do they give a Group Rate for DUI’s? Is it “With Four you get Egg Roll?” We’re talking Platters of Pu-Pu for Lofa Tatupu, Dwayne Jarrett,…
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HEAD AND SHOULDERS ABOVE THE WEST
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“Bryant’s Team” shows some Nerve and breaks the Spurs’ Serve, while “My-Dance Team” shows some Verve and screws up the Curve The Lakers are not celebrating, and neither should their fans, but Phil Jackson’s squad just went into San Antonio and earned a Game 4 victory to take a commanding 3-1 lead…
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Noah’s nArk
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Cop on a lArk makes “Toke-kim” his mArk, for failing to hArk laws pathetically Ark(-aic), against “Heineken-dArk-ing” and “Wacky Weed-spArking” (that could pArk “Smokim” in a stArk, grey cell for a 6-month spell — which is a lot longer than 40 days and 40 nights) Joakim should have just said “No-ah.” Former…
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SAVE THE WAILS
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Trojan fans are asinine and out-of-line to whine “Decline,” since their Girls still shine like our Fine Nine (just not quite as brightly) Another series of brutal assaults victimizing trojan co-eds related to the usc Athletic Department? Well, at least this time, the attacks are verbal… but still very hurtful, and of…
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EVEN GUYS WITH DUI’S CAN’T SURMISE HOW SC LIES BUT NEVER FRIES
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Chuggin’ Huggins dug the trouble-lugging thug, but stopped tugging because he knew that taking Mayo would be begging for a mugging So usc Head Basketball Coach Tim Floyd has WORSE JUDGEMENT than a guy who got caught drinking and driving? Bob Huggins is currently the Head Coach at West Virginia, after…
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MANY HAPPY RETURNS
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The Returns are (Bru-) In: Farmar’s confidence, Trevor Ariza, and the Showtime dominance have Returned for the Lakers, while Josh Shipp’s Return and J’Mison Morgan have UCLA fans counting on a 4th straight Return to the Final Four As the Memorial Day Weekend rolls along, highlighted by the Return after 18…
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DUFFY THE EMPIRE SLAYER
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Un-Dead and Loving It: Mayo’s former Agent, who might suck the life out of usc, Counts his Blood Money losses at a batty $250,000, after major pain-in-the-neck O.J. severs ties; Meanwhile, yet ANOTHER ex-trojan Basketballer gets arrested and denies all wrongdoing No good story ever started with the words “O.J.…