Author: ucladavid

  • TROJAN GIANTS SLAYED BY ALLEGATIONS OF BEATING WOMEN — THAT’S JACKED UP

    Brain-Ded — It’s a Dedmon’s Party that leaves James Blasczyk in a Pickle and Dewayne Dedmon Walking… away from the team, as u$c suspends the two 7-footers following bar brawls in Spokane that leave several injured, including two women, one with a badly-bloodied lip It looks like the trojan basketball…

  • DREW FROM THE TOP

    UCLA wins the Pac-12 Regular Season Title outright, after Oregon gets upset at Utah and the Bruins upset the Huskies in Washington, behind the scoring of Muhammad and Adams, and the big crunchtime plays by Larry Drew II, who also sets the All-Time UCLA Record for Assists in a Season…

  • EVERYTHING BUT THE KITTENS SINK

    Fraud De-clawed — #11 Wildcats roar back from 14 down in second half, repeatedly getting to the hoop, but can’t sink the lay-ups, and can’t string together enough stops, suffering a road sweep by sc and UCLA, and a season sweep by the Bruins, who close out New Pauley’s inaugural…

  • TRAVIS-TY AVERTED

    Even without injured starting Center Travis Wear, the Bruins still dominate u$c, building a 25-point lead and sending the DIRTY trojans down to a demoralizing defeat, 75-59 — the way it SHOULD be The trojans were up to their usual dirty tricks, breaking every rule, climbing on the backs of Bruins, trying…

  • POMEE DOESN’T PWN THE PO-PO

    Trojan Tight End Junior Pomee gets busted on 5 FELONY counts including Burglary, Grand Theft and Receiving Stolen Goods As the trojans continue to tumble down the Recruiting Rankings, one of their skill players just tumbled down the ladder of life, as Junior Pomee got arrested last week on five…

  • TROJANS FLUSH THE LUSH (AND CRUSH THE RUSH)

    Last Call for Alcohol(ic) and No Call for Rush Call — U$c fires Basketball Coach Kevin “Drunken Altercation” O’Neill right after their best win of the season, and shadily pulls the scholarship offer of a 4-Star Football Recruit 3 days before he’s due for early enrollment Another trojan Coach bites the…

  • CHEATING HEART

    Pete the Cheat Carroll cheats Seahawks out of a berth in the NFC Championship, with dubious Coaching decisions that put them in a 27-7 hole, then deprive them of a historic, full-of-heart comeback victory Pete Carroll and his Seattle Seahawks are on vacation right now, after falling dramatically to the Atlanta Falcons,…

  • BRUINS NO FOLDERS IN BOULDER

    Mountain Dues — UCLA wins 9th straight game, after Travis Wear scores 9 straight points down stretch (and a career-high 23) to keep the Bruins from blowing a Second Half, 13-point lead against Colorado, 78-75 When the Bruins are forcing the pace, flying down the court in transition, and attacking…

  • US AGAINST THE WORLD (The first reader-submitted article)

    It’s us against the world UCLA coach Ben Howland told ESPN that the Bruins have to get ready for some serious abuse when they’re on their road trip this January. Howland explained that “They’re going to yell nasty things at you. Get used to that.” Before elaborating, “In reality, it’s…

  • ‘BAZZEL TOV — LIKE PASTRAMI AT CANTER’S DELI, UCLA BASKETBALL IS ON A ROLL

    No ham in Muhammad — Hard-working phophet Shabazz Muhammad leads Bruins to profit with sweep over Cal and Stanford, for seven straight wins;  Meanwhile, sc loses to Cal at home, and an ex-trojan costs his team a victory in the NFL Playoffs Remember a few weeks ago, when the Bruins…

  • MOURNING WOODS

    Not a hard decision — u$c is not excited, as star Receiver Robert Woods chooses to end his trojan career prematurely, while at UCLA star Linebacker Anthony Barr announces that he will come back to Westwood for another session Fans of u$c are freaking out all over the Internet, as their beloved Football team’s historic and…

  • SUN STROKE

    Dim-Wittek — Trojans stroke out in Sun Bowl, eclipsed by lowly Georgia Tech 21-7, as sc’s QB of the future Max Wittek burns troy with a pathetic three-Interception performance, including two in the end zone If Max Wittek is to be u$c’s Quarterback for the next three years, Lane Kiffin has some serious work…