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Archive for March, 2011

  • DIDDLER ON THE ROOF

    Tradition?  Tradition!  — SC student gets busted for saying “L’Chaim to Life” by having sex on the top of a campus building between Sunrise and Sunset If I Were A Rich Man… I wouldn’t blow my parent’s tuition by screwing on campus in plain sight, and getting thrown out of school. I think there is […]

  • HONEY CUTTS AND RUNS

    Cutters — Tyler Honeycutt is Breaking Away from UCLA;  Malcolm Lee will jump into the quarry too, but unlike Tyler, he could come riding back The Honey-moon is over.  Bruin SOPHOMORE Tyler Honeycutt is about to hire an Agent, meaning that he will never play another game for UCLA.  Unlike his former teammate Malcolm Lee, who is just […]

  • KIFFIN RECRUITING RECRUITING-HOSTESSES?

    Slots Available — Just up the Lane from U$C, a host of pro-trojan Porn Stars and Exotic Dancers position themselves to fill openings on Figueroa WARNING:  This article’s ACCOMPANYING PICTORIAL is NOT consistent with the WHOLESOME image usually cultivated here.  With sincere apologies to my favorite Spirit Squad and to all my innocent female readers, PLEASE don’t look […]

  • KAREEM RISES TO THE TOP

    Kareem of the Crop — UCLA hits the All-Time Exacta, placing 1st (’67) AND 2nd (’73) in the poll for Best College Basketball Teams in History If you are reading Sporting News’ new Top Ten Best College Basketball Teams of All-Time from the bottom up, and you just want to know who’s #1, you can Skip To My […]

  • FLORIDUH, WINNING

    Crazy-tough loss takes sheen off bounce-back season, as tiger-blooded Bruins get bitten by Gators in Tourney for third time in last six years UCLA showed up, played hard, and pushed the 2nd-seeded Florida Gators all the way to the end, before finally succumbing 73-65.  The game went back and forth for the first 25 minutes, with UCLA leading 45-43 early […]

  • COLLAPSE BUT NO TAPS

    Collapse Dance — UCLA nearly blows 23-point lead in final 8 minutes before nipping MSU 78-76 (bringing Florida to the table) Yesterday morning, if you knew that UCLA would never trail Michigan State, and would win the game by 2, you would have taken it, gladly.  Now, maybe not so much.  Last night, the Bruins […]

  • NO POISE BY TROY’S BOYS

    U$C finds the lush life of the NCAA Tourney too sobering to take, going dry for 7 minutes down the stretch to get wasted by VCU, 59-46 Happy Hour! Now trojan Coach Kevin O’Neill (or is it “O’doul?) can hit the bar, and try to drown his sorrows, as sc gets trashed by VCU, 59-46.  The game […]

  • DEPARTIN’ SMARTIN’ STARTIN’ WITH SPARTANS

    Battered Bruins Limp off to Tampa to Rumba with Michigan State in the Big Dance Believe it or not, UCLA’s humiliating loss to Oregon may have been a blessing in disguise.  Not only did it allow the ailing Bruins a few extra days of rest and recuperation, but it ended up NOT hurting their Seeding in […]

  • MISS-ING YOU

    I have missed Katie Wee for about two years;  Now she’s “can’t miss” to get “MISS-ed” (not “missed”) by pageant judges, who would be MISS-taken to NOT crown her as the next “Miss CaliforniaUSA” For several years, I’ve been saying that the girls of the UCLA Spirit Squad were supermodels, who could easily compete in prestigious beauty pageants.  And now, […]

  • UCLA NEEDS A GURNEY IN THE TOURNEY

    Dead On Arrival — 4 Bruins play sick/injured, and the others play AS IF they were sick/injured, in sickly, 76-59 terminal loss to Oregon No need for an autopsy — The Bruins’ Cause Of Death was obvious:  They played like they were diseased.  Oregon outhustled, out-muscled, out-ran, out-shot, and out-defended UCLA from start to finish, […]

  • HIGHER LOVE

    Record of the Year — Kevin Love brings the Win and and the Wood, lifting his T-Wolves to victory with his Record-High 52nd-straight Double-Double Unconditional Love.  Tough Love.  Kevin Love. Former Bruin Star Kevin Love just broke the NBA Post-Merger Record for consecutive Double-Doubles, by notching his 52nd in a row on Wednesday night, in the […]

  • MALCOLM X’S OUT GREY COUGARS

    Blue Power — Washington State’s “Grey Out” fails to oppress UCLA, who fights back from 15 down, forces Overtime on two Malcolm Lee Free Throws, then wins it on four more Lee Free Throws, 58-54 Chalk this one up to Marijuana.  With Washington State’s star player Klay(Pipe) Thompson suspended after getting busted for Pot, UCLA barely […]

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