Month: May 2008

  • UCLAkers vs. SCeltics

    Goin’ a Courtin’:  3 L.A. Bruins and 2 Boston trojans will hit the court to court Rings, while 3 other trojans are going to Court, and could get rung up “Don’t Look Back” might have been one of the rock band Boston’s biggest hits, but it’s hard to NOT look…

  • BLAZING SAD-DLES

    On the day that “Hedley Lamarr” rides off into the Sunset, “Heady” Lamar, Wilder Sheriff Kobe, and the Lakers Polish off the Spurs The World has seen the last live performances of two Legends:  Comedian Harvey Korman, and the San Antonio Spurs Dynasty.  Korman passed away yesterday at the age of 81,…

  • NO SHEET, SHERLOCK

    USC Football Asst. Coach WATSON is 4th “Carrollista DUI” this year.  So why would his record be expunged?  Like a trojan’s education, it’s Elementary Do they give a Group Rate for DUI’s?  Is it “With Four you get Egg Roll?”  We’re talking Platters of Pu-Pu for Lofa Tatupu, Dwayne Jarrett,…

  • HEAD AND SHOULDERS ABOVE THE WEST

    “Bryant’s Team” shows some Nerve and breaks the Spurs’ Serve, while “My-Dance Team” shows some Verve and screws up the Curve The Lakers are not celebrating, and neither should their fans, but Phil Jackson’s squad just went into San Antonio and earned a Game 4 victory to take a commanding 3-1 lead…

  • Noah’s nArk

    Cop on a lArk makes “Toke-kim” his mArk, for failing to hArk laws pathetically Ark(-aic), against “Heineken-dArk-ing” and “Wacky Weed-spArking” (that could pArk “Smokim” in a stArk, grey cell for a 6-month spell — which is a lot longer than 40 days and 40 nights) Joakim should have just said “No-ah.” Former…

  • SAVE THE WAILS

    Trojan fans are asinine and out-of-line to whine “Decline,” since their Girls still shine like our Fine Nine (just not quite as brightly) Another series of brutal assaults victimizing trojan co-eds related to the usc Athletic Department?  Well, at least this time, the attacks are verbal… but still very hurtful, and of…

  • EVEN GUYS WITH DUI’S CAN’T SURMISE HOW SC LIES BUT NEVER FRIES

    Chuggin’ Huggins dug the trouble-lugging thug, but stopped tugging because he knew that taking Mayo would be begging for a mugging So usc Head Basketball Coach Tim Floyd has WORSE JUDGEMENT than a guy who got caught drinking and driving? Bob Huggins is currently the Head Coach at West Virginia, after…

  • MANY HAPPY RETURNS

    The Returns are (Bru-) In:  Farmar’s confidence, Trevor Ariza, and the Showtime dominance have Returned for the Lakers, while Josh Shipp’s Return and J’Mison Morgan have UCLA fans counting on a 4th straight Return to the Final Four As the Memorial Day Weekend rolls along, highlighted by the Return after 18…

  • DUFFY THE EMPIRE SLAYER

    Un-Dead and Loving It:  Mayo’s former Agent, who might suck the life out of usc, Counts his Blood Money losses at a batty $250,000, after major pain-in-the-neck O.J. severs ties;  Meanwhile, yet ANOTHER ex-trojan Basketballer gets arrested and denies all wrongdoing No good story ever started with the words “O.J.…

  • LAKERS OF THE LOST ARC

    Blockbuster Hollywood Comeback is af-Forded to L.A. by the long-awaited return of whip-cracking Second Unit Director Indiana Farmar, who isn’t too Shia to keep Jonesing for doing his own stunts “Truck?  What truck?”  Who needs Terry Leonard when you’ve got Jordan Farmar?  Today is Opening Day for the highly-anticipated 4th Installment of the Indiana…

  • THE CLEANING POWER OF RIZA

    A Riza to Celebrate (like a Mob):  Zalameda-led Bruins sweep up Cal for landmark NCAA Title in Women’s Tennis, and #102 overall Riza has arrived.  UCLA Senior Riza Zalameda just etched her name into the collosal Pantheon of Great Bruin Champions, by leading UCLA to the NCAA Championship in Women’s Tennis…

  • EVEN COACH WOODEN NO LIKE-A THE JUICE

    Wooden once told UCLA’s Wooden Center to either remove Warhol’s “OJ d’arte,” or remove Wooden’s name… and HE had the juice to get rid of The Juice From the very day that this web site was conceived, it was a sadly-accepted given:  Our all-time Hero John Wooden would probably not approve.  Coach Wooden is WAY…