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Archive for May, 2008

  • FROM LAKE FLACCID TO STIFF COMPETITION

    Seems Lake Old Times — Jazz makes it hard in the end after coming out soft, but Salt-Lakers are impotent to Halt Lakers from limping into the Western Finals for the first time in 4 years Never hire a Kidd to do a Man’s job… especially when you already have Derek Fisher, who IS “The Man.” All of […]

  • LOFA GETS PINCHED

    Tatupu’s reputation is swirling around the bowl, after he becomes the 3rd allegedly wasted-behind-the-wheel ex-trojan in 3 months to get scooped up Another ex-trojan’s sparkling image just got flushed down the Troy-let, when Seattle cops arrested usc Legacy Lofa Tatupu for apparent Drunk Driving.  The Police say that Lofa was speeding and changing lanes or […]

  • DON’T BUY SPOILED MAYO NAYS

    O.J. Mayo is jarred by ESPN’s irrefutable proof of illegal benefits (in Hi-Def), but just like Reggie Bush, he STILL just says Nay. O.J. Mayo knows:  It takes more than solid physical evidence to convict a blatantly-guilty ex-trojan named O.J. in Los Angeles.  And THAT is why Mayo is in full denial mode in the […]

  • CARDINAL & GOLD-DIGGERS

    For the Love of Money:  The OJ’s Love Train is derailed by Back Stabbers, as Simpson’s Weed-induced confession and Mayo’s Greed-induced procession are revealed It’s all about “the company you keep.” O.J. Simpson surrounded himself with “friends” who were really just shady, brown-nosed weasels who just wanted to cash in on his fame.  With friends like […]

  • GRAND THEFT GROTTO IV

    Is there anybunny left in the hot tubs of Airbrush Land now that UCLA has a monopoly on the best “Girls Next Door?” Just call it “Hugh-C-L-A.” Back in the day, every kid knew that the best-looking Girls in the World resided under their Dads’ beds, and I don’t mean aldulterous Mistresses hiding from Moms).  In […]

  • NeuTube

    NOW PLAYING (at the Neu-art Theater, Rated NC-17 for language):  Wannabe trojans getting cursed out by Pete Carroll’s viral son;   COMING SOON (to UCLA, Rated RD-R-R for getting the last laugh):  A Blockbuster Cast of Star Recruits from the A List who don’t want to be treated like Extras Is it really “negative recruiting” if you […]

  • GOD’S LITTLE GREEN (L)ACRE

    It’s “lEagle” — Kobe finally snatches much-desired trophy with come-from-behind assault From a Three-peat, to an Eagle, Colorado Witness Stand, to a Jewelry store specializing in trophy-wife-placating boulders, to demanding a one-way ticket out of town, to staying and taking the Lakers to the #1 seed in the Western Conference, to being named the Most Valuable […]

  • THREATS TO PUT CARROLL IN PERIL ARE STERILE

    Over a Barrel?  Pete “under oath” would be more fun than a Barrel of Clemens, SO, usc will make sure that there’ll never be a trial (and McNair’ll be a lucky dog) A trial date has been set for the Bushgate Lawsuit, with Pete Carroll and Todd McNair both expected to be called as witnesses, […]

  • ONE WEEK LEFT ‘TIL MOTHERS DAY

    If you like our Cheerleader Photos, and you want to see more, buy your Mom a t-shirt — Because Camera Batteries cost money We interrupt this veritable parade of Spirit Photos to bring you this BeatSC.com Pledge Break.  When you take 1777 photos at an event, you burn up some AA Batteries.  Someone’s got to […]

  • “DON’T LET THE SUN (DEVILS) GO DOWN ON ME”

    Like a Candle in the Wind, it’s Goodbye Yellow Brick Road for ASU’s Tiny Dancers, whose entire Squad gets cancelled for a year, over tame lingerie photos (I Guess That’s Why They Call it the Blues) Sorry seems to be the hardest word to say… but if these ASU Cheerleaders — whose non-nude lingerie photos appeared on the […]

  • TOTAL RECALL NOT DUE TO VIXEN-FIXIN’

    If the fix has been in, how come this 9-peat has NEVER happened before? In the quasi-classic Sci-Fi film “Total Recall,” Ahhnold’s character selects a woman who is “sleazy and demure.”  UCLA Spirit Squad Director Mollie, and her Professional panel of non-partisan Judges, were selecting for something completely different. 32 girls tried out for the […]

  • ONLY “CUT” IS CUT TO THE CHACE

    Bruin Spirit Dream Team wins the chase to stay in place, but dispirited Bruin Chace will chase his dream in another place It’s Official:  All your favorite (non-graduating) UCLA Spirit Squad members will return for an encore performance that lasts a whole year.  All nine members of the World’s Greatest Dance Team have been held […]

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