Slots Available — Just up the Lane from U$C, a host of pro-trojan Porn Stars and Exotic Dancers position themselves to fill openings on Figueroa
WARNING: This article’s ACCOMPANYING PICTORIAL is NOT consistent with the WHOLESOME image usually cultivated here. With sincere apologies to my favorite Spirit Squad and to all my innocent female readers, PLEASE don’t look at the photos at the end of this post!!
Of the myriad violations allegedly racked up by Lane Kiffin and his current sc assistants while they were at Tennessee, one of the most meaty was his prohibited use of “Recruiting Hostesses.” These co-eds were supposedly entrusted with the duty of showing potential incoming recruits a “good time,” while showing them around town. Of course, in South Central, it’s not easy to show someone a good time, without leaving South Central, or without checking into a hotel. So Kiffin might have struck it rich this weekend, when the Adult Entertainment Industry held a Sex-Expo at the L.A. Convention Center.
The promoters advertised that the event would showcase “69” Adult Film Actresses — “More Porn Stars than you can handle.” Of course, the convention hall was chock full of trojan fans and gang members, all proudly sporting thier “colors.” Luckily, there was no alcohol allowed, private security was ample, and the $40 cover charge kept out the worst of the riff-raff, so I saw only one fight. The generally good behavior allowed everyone to enjoy the best that Porn has to offer.
Surprisingly, among the featured performers, the Black and Latina Stars were few and far between, while there seemed to be a strong Asian contingent. The best thing about that, besides the fact that they were well-toned and very cute, is that they were raising money for Tsunami victims (I’m NOT joking). It’s the old “Stripper with a heart of gold” cliche, come to life. Hopefully, they will stick to that good cause, and have no time to help recruit thugs to sc.
That would be too bad for the sc Basketball team, who really needs some help recruiting right now, since Nikola Vucevic just announced that he is bailing on troy a year early to go play in the Pro’s. He will attempt a career in the NBA, but since a lock-out is likely, Nik will probably end up back in Europe. Just as well, since he is a better fit there. In the NBA, he probably wouldn’t have played many minutes for any decent team. Just because he led sc in Scoring and Rebounding doesn’t mean he would succeed at the next level. But his bailing does guarantee one thing — SC is in big trouble for next year.
And speaking of big trouble, Arizona got knocked out of the NCAA Tourney yesterday, when they inexplicably fired up 3 after 3 at the end of their game against UConn, even though they didn’t need to. Arizona was leading late in the game until a Husky spurt gave UConn a tiny lead. Arizona was in it until the final seconds (again, like UCLA and Washington, proving that the Pac-10 is NOT inferior to the other Power Conferences), but down by 2 on the final possession, they bricked two consecutive — and unnecessary — Three-pointers. They had been missing from behind the arc all game, making the decision even more assinine. They could have easlily won in Overtime, and with the way Derrick Williams was playing, he certainly would have scored AND/OR gotten fouled if he had just driven to the basket in those final seconds.
By the way, CBS Announcer Verne Lundquist, whom I’ve never really complained about before, really pulled a boner in the final seconds. When the Wildcats launched their first Three of that last possession, Lundquist screamed “For the WIN!” Wrong. It was NOT for the win, it was for the LEAD. UConn still had a time out, and there would have been plenty of time for them to come back. Lundquist (or was it his partner Raftery?) also made a stupid comment in the First Half, but it’s a gaffe that’s becoming commonplace. The term “dagger” used to exclusively mean a shot that put a game out of reach, in essence, completely “killing” the other team’s chances. So how in the hell can a shot in the First Half of a game be a “dagger?” Even if the game is a blowout at that point, the term still would not apply. But this game was close, so the comment was totally ridiculous. Announcers need to stop referring to any long shot as a dagger.
Speaking of daggers, Florida lost to Butler, in almost identical fashion to Arizona, when, in Overtime, the Gators bricked a wild Three on the final possession. Of course, Florida was DOWN BY THREE at the time, so they had no choice but to shoot from Downtown, and I think they hurried it, just to avoid being fouled on purpose to prevent a game-tying shot. [I think the NCAA should change the rule so that teams don’t commit fouls to preclude a game-tying Three. In that situation, they should call an Intentional Foul (which it actually really is), and give the Offensive Team two shots AND possession.]
No matter how or why it happened, I’m just happy that the cocky Arizona fans don’t get to lord a Final Four appearance over UCLA next year, and I’m also glad that the Gators, who knocked out UCLA last week, aren’t going to get a Collector’s DVD made about a Final Four run that would have included a detailed recount of their win over the Bruins. Besides, Florida has two Titles since ’06, and I don’t like any school besides UCLA to have too much concentrated success. That’s why I want Kentucky to lose to North Carolina… and then for the Tar Heels to lose in the Semi’s. Same goes for Kansas. So now, it’s Go VCU, Go Butler, or Go UConn. If VCU wins, it might make sc’s play-in loss to them look less humiliating, but it would also “posterize” sc in video form, on VCU’s DVD.
Speaking of posters, here are 20 photos from the Adult Expo, that are SURE TO DISGUST anyone that thinks a Cheerleader “kick shot” is offensive. FINAL WARNING: If you have virginal sensibilities, for God’s sake, DO NOT SCROLL DOWN.
[NOTE: I HAVE THREE HUNDRED MORE GOOD SHOTS FROM THIS EVENT, INCLUDING MANY MORE OF EVERY GIRL FEATURED HERE. PLEASE COMMENT IF YOU WANT TO SEE MORE, OR E-MAIL ME IF YOU WANT TO MAKE YOUR REQUEST IN PRIVATE, OR IF YOU WANT PHOTOS E-MAILED TO YOU]