It was the Lakers who had no pop.

Do you have the key to her heart?  (Hint:  It’s in your wallet.)

L.A. Phil-anthropists:  Lakers generously donate Game 6 to un-taxed Celtics with 19 Turnovers (and it was written off at Halftime)

De-cay on the Parquet.  Just like Rocco Mediate, the Lakers missed the fairway on the most important shot.  L.A. suddenly forgot how to take care of the ball, and how to play hustling Team Defense, and when it was all over, the Celtics had a 131-92 clincher to take home their 17th Banner, and the Lakers had lost all their good feelings from winning the Western Conference.

Kobe came out on fire, again, hitting 3 of 4 early 3’s (with the missed one being in-and-out), and the Lakers looked like they were not fazed by the moment, or by the Boston Garden Mystique.  But when Kobe lost his touch, missing his next 7 shots, Boston started to roll.  They took a 24-20 lead into the 2nd Quarter, but that’s when and where the Lakers said goodbye to their season.  Boston outscored L.A. by 19 in the 2nd Quarter, thanks to the Lakers’ 23% shooting, and invisible Defense.  It looked like they tightened the rims a little too much, as the Lakers had about a half-dozen good shots vibrate out of their hoop, but the Celtics had no problem, because they were getting lay-ups, and swishing open jumpers (no rim).

The Boston Defense was good, obviously, setting a finals Record for Steals, BUT (and this is going to sound biased), the Lakers were throwing careless, horrible passes in traffic all night.  If this were Tennis, almost all of the 19 Turnovers would be classifed as “Unforced Errors.”  Also, the Lakers GOT open looks, but they just — for the 3rd time in a row in Boston — couldn’t shoot worth a damn.  But the bad Passing was worse.

Remember Game 5, where Jordan Farmar ran the Point for 22 minutes with zero Turnovers?  Even sure-handed Farmar had Michael Fey Moments last night, with FOUR Turnovers of his own.  Of course, it’s the LOSS, and not his Turnovers, that keep him from enjoying his Career Playoff High of 12 Points.  It was the most of anyone off the Laker bench, and 3rd most on the whole team, behind Kobe’s 22 (on 7-22 shooting), and Lamar Odom’s 14.  The problem is that most of them were scored while the Lakers were down by about 27 points.

Another problem for JF:  26 minutes, but only 1 Assist?  It’s not his fault that his teammates can’t sink an open shot, but still, 1 in 26 is pathetic.  And don’t point out Kobe’s 1 in 43, because Kobe isn’t SUPPOSED to be in there to dish, like Farmar should be.

Trevor Ariza got back into “the rotation” last night, but by the time he did, the game was already a blowout.  Ariza played 9 minutes, and got a dunk, but not much else.

But you know who contributed ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to the Celtics’ Finals triumph?  Only 2 players on their entire 15-man Roster DID NOT PLAY AT ALL in the series, and those two SPECTATORS just happen to BOTH be trojans:  Brian Scalabrine, and Gabe Pruitt.   They are probably still partying at this minute, knowing that they have Rings coming in the mail, but keep this in mind:  Every single time they show off their Ring to someone, they will have to also confess that they never even saw the floor.

The 39-point margin is NOT the biggest in Finals History — Phil Jackson’s Bulls won one by 42 — but it is the widest for a CLINCHING game, beating the old Record of 33.  At Halftime, Jackson told his team not to GIVE IT AWAY.  He wanted Boston to earn it.  The Lakers did not listen.  With all the Turnovers (which led to 32 Boston Points), and with Kobe missing all over the place, the Lakers couldn’t get any momentum going for a comeback.  So, they stopped hustling for loose balls, as the celebratory Celtics were still flying high on adrenaline, grabbing every long rebound while the Lakers watched.

The Celtics had about an hour for the inevitable victory to sink in, but they still acted without any class in the final minutes.  Paul Pierce — the Series MVP who actually had a horrible Game 6, shooting only 4-for-13 (making the final margin even more shocking) — dumped a mini-tub of Gatorade on Doc Rivers’ head WHILE THERE WERE STILL A FEW MINUTES LEFT IN THE GAME.  Sure, the game was COMPLETELY decided, without a doubt, but it was still a trojan maneuver to make them stop the game and break out the mop to clean up his celebratory mess.  Pretty disrespectful of Paul toward the opponent, especially since the Lakers were his heroes when he was growing up in Inglewood.

Now don’t write in complaining of sour grapes.  The best team won the series.  However, if it weren’t for Andrew Bynum’s inability to recuperate in time, Home Court Advantage, and a legendary 24-point collapse, the Lakers might be the ones parading next week.  And next YEAR will be a different story, with a better ending for the Purple and Gold.

Now if you want some REAL sour grapes:  When Pierce doused Rivers with Gatorade, it was suggested that the same thing be done to Danny Ainge… but with battery acid.

Kobe could afford a bottle of Dom that big… with change from his couch cushions.

Maybe the Lakers need one more widebody up front to muscle up with bigger teams.

The L.A. Ballers got thoroughly licked.


3 responses to “BOSTON SUCKS (CHAMPAGNE)”

  1. Waldorf Avatar

    What’s with the porno skanks? If you’re trying to equate their classless looks with the classless Boston players and their fans, you hit the nail on the head.

    I don’t understand why Mildred Pierce was named MVP of the Finals. He had one terrific game, in which the Celts lost, and was pretty mortal the rest of the series. I guess it was his classic wheelchair maneuver that convinced the jocksniffers he was the Man. What a crock. Ray Allen was more deserving, IMO.

    Chick Hearn is rolling over in his grave.

    The only saving grace was that we didn’t have to put up with watching Red light a cigar, or hearing Johnny Most’s blather, or having to endure Tommy Heinie and the rest of the Celtics Broadcasting System. THAT would have been unendurable.

    Jerry West….WHERE ARE YOU?????

  2. RR Avatar

    Boston isn’t 39 points better than any team in the league. The Lakers gave it away plain and simple. It was sad seeing that the only Laker who seemed to have gotten tired of being pushed around at the end of the game was LAMAR ODOM.

    Kobe Bryant? 3-5 in the paint, 4-17 outside of the paint. Real rocket science right there, Kobe.

    Also I agree with Waldorf, why is Pierce the MVP? Was it because of his Oscar-award like performance in game one? Also why did Doc’ leave his starters almost throughout the entire fourth when this game was already decided, Ray Allen especially? Rivers must have had a nice long talk with Bill Belichick before the game.

    Oh well, its the summertime in another championship-less season in LA. The Lakers exceeded all expectations but it’s time for another summer of all the pipe-dream talk. It’s nice getting Bynum back but what’s really needed is some perimeter defense… GET ARTEST!