ROSE — COLORED CLASSLESS

SMELROSE PLACE:  The trojans’ dirty play and taunting will forever mar Morose Bowl win;  Stadium orders 20,000 gallons of disinfectant to eradicate residual layer of SCum

From the moment they took the legendary field to the moment they left, the usc trojans were a disgrace to everything Football-Holy that the great Rose Bowl symbolizes.

Despite being pitted against a vastly outmanned squad, the trojans started the thuggery early, trash-talking from the opening gun.  Then they continued jawing at the Illini, well after each play was over.  The Refs finally got a clue, and started talking to the trojans.  That didn’t work, so the penalty flags started flying.  While the Illini picked up plenty of flags too, theirs were borne out of frustration, while troy’s were borne out of being trojans.

Early in the game, the tone was set, when the trojans picked up two 15-yard Unsportsmanlike Conduct penalties on two consecutive plays.  The first one was a typical trojan late hit out of bounds (they’ve been getting away with it all decade), and the second one was for somersaulting Bush-League style needlessly into the end zone at the end of a trick play.

At that point, the whole USA knew that the heavily-favored trojans had no class, or respect for their opponent.  It was 14-0, and the trojans were doing obnoxious group dances on the sidelines.  And they were just getting started.

Next was Running Back Joe McKnight, getting lectured by a Ref while walking off the field.  But that didn’t curb the trojans’ appetite for cheating — Before the first half ended, they picked up yet another 15-yard penalty for another late hit out of bounds.

While the Nation was wondering how sc lives with themselves, new UCLA Coach Rick Neuheisel was interviewed live at the game.  He was smooth as usual, complimented sc, and promised to challenge them in the near future.  Then, he told the Illini, who hadn’t got any Offensive production yet, to throw on 1st Down.  Hopefully, he will heed his own advice in Westwood.

When they returned to the game, it was more of the same.  Fred Davis was the next trojan to show that they have no class.  After scoring a TD, Davis turned around and pointed his finger right in the defender’s face.  He got flagged for Taunting, and sc had to Kick Off from their own 15.

You think that’s a lot of dirty play for one game?  Well, they weren’t done yet.  Taylor Mays, who had already been named in one altercation, picked up another 15-yard Unsportsmanlike Conduct penalty in the 4th Quarter.  And before you could blink a lamb’s tail, he got flagged again, for the THIRD TIME, for the same DIRTY tactic.

With the trojans piling up cheap shot penalty yardage by the mile, and basically looking like a criminal street gang for 3 hours, you would think that Pete Carroll would be a little subdued as the game finished up, but no, he was jumping up and down like an overcaffienated 8-year old, when his team scored to make the lead 38 points.  Obviously, a Lack of Class starts at the top and trickles down.  The trickle was evident, when the sideline camera went on, and a whole slew of trojans started grunting and mugging for it.  NOT ONE WORD was enunciated well enough to be comprehendable.  It was like something out of “Altered States ” (as were the incoherent ramblings of Rey Maualuga during HIS postgame interview). 

Carroll ended the night by refusing to take a knee.  Instead of doing THE ONLY CLASSY THING, he ran another play, topping off a complete game of disgusting trOJan behavior.  What a coincidence that the opposong QB was named Juice, on a day when usc acted like O.J. all game long.

And speaking of ex-trojan nightmares…

NORTON HEARS A BOO

It is being reported that Rick Neuheisel is trying to bring Ken Norton jr. back to UCLA.

F*CK NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

C’mon, Rick, don’t make your first move the worst one ever made by a UCLA Coach!!!!!  Ken Norton is a disgusting traitor just like Henry Bibby.  He is a trojan now and forever, and true Bruins would never allow him back into their hearts.  He is now a well-known UCLA-basher, who sold UCLA out in the worst possible way.

If Neuheisel brings Norton back, Norton better give the most amazing apology speech in History, or he is liable to tear apart the very fabric of Bruin fanship, that Neuheisel is just starting to resurrect.  Besides, who do you think is teaching the troy Linebackers how to get away with all these intimidating but illegal late hits?

JUST SAY NO TO NORTON!!  ONCE YOU GO DARK(SIDE), YOU NEVER COME BACK.