It takes the cake that Lake the Flake will make or break “Mr. Quake, Shake, & Bake,” with a wake at stake, for Pete’s sake
If it sounds too good to be true, that’s probably because it is. So don’t get your hopes up yet, but…REGGIE BUSH HAS FINALLY BEEN SUED, for taking over a quarter of a million dollars, starting in 2004 while a Sophomore at sc. On top of suing Bush, Lloyd Lake is also GOING TO THE NCAA on Friday, to turn over HARD EVIDENCE that proves his claims.
If Lloyd is proved to be telling the truth, the NCAA will declare Bush ineligible for the second half of the 2004 season, and for the entire 2005 season, and usc will be forced to forfeit all of the wins in which Bush participated during that time.
Lloyd says that he personally delivered payments to Reggie, which had to be in cash to “avoid NCAA scrutiny.” Better yet, Lake says that he has documents in Reggie’s handwriting (or with Reggie’s signature) that admit that Reggie was going to take care of Lake for giving him all this loot. Lake also says that he can prove that Bush took money from other people as well, which was forbidden by his illegal deal with Lake, and that is another reason why Lake is suing.
It sure looks like Reggie is Toast. The Heisman Committee will be forced – by rule – to rescind Bush’s Award, and demand the trophy back. Hopefully, it will go to Vince Young, who can keep it where current teammate and ex-trojan LenDale White can see it. White probably already couldn’t stand Bush, and now that all his College Team’s exploits are about to be completely tainted and erased from the Record Books because of Bush, he probably really hates him.
Remember years ago when we joked about Reggie’s fancy, pimped-out vehicle? It turns out that he allegedly had a Chevy Impala SS – illegally supplied to him – and then he demanded another 4 Grand to trick it out. Can you believe that all our crazed rantings back then WEREN’T just sour grapes, but actually, the TRUTH, that the NCAA is finally about to grasp, and act on? What a coincidence that they are just getting the info they need, right after sc dropped out of the top 10 for the first time since Bush was there, and is no longer the NCAA Cash Cow that they have been for 5 years. That Oregon loss might end up giving them another 20 losses.
And as the Fall of Troy continues, 600th-year Senior Hershel Dennis is now showing his trojan Class, by whining to the Media about his lack of Playing Time. How deluded can you get? We’ve seen what he can do — not the Rape accusation, we mean on the field — And that guy couldn’t carry Joe McKnight’s jock, or the jocks of any of the other younger guys, for that matter. But when your team is severely underachieving, Chemistry is the first thing to go. And why be surprised that a guy who’s been a trojan for longer than anyone else on the team would be one of the bigget self-absorbed whiners on the team?
And speaking of whiners at sc, Basketball Coach Tim Floyd, who, just like Pete Carroll, can’t utter the letters “UCLA” in an interview, admitted to the Media that because of UCLA’s dominance, and sc’s obsession with it’s Gridiron Gangbangers, usc’s Basketball Program is nothing more than an “afterthought.” That’s the most accurate thing said by an sc Coach in years, maybe since Asst. Football Coach Todd McNair told his old Dog Fighting buddies that it’s a Dog Eat Dog World.
So, as Reggie is about to hit the fan, his predecessor as usc’s Favorite Son, O.J. Simpson, has also got his balls to the wall. The final accomplice in the Armed Robbery has now pled guilty and agreed to testify against the Juice. How long until O.J. is back on the phone to A.C., and back on the 405 in his Bronco, headed to Mexico, or Canada, or some other place where they are bound to just send him back anyway? He’s like a registered sex offender — Nobody wants him in their neighborhood. Maybe Conan put it best tonight, when talking about the latest accomplice to roll, saying that O.J. said: “I’m going to search for the Real Killer, who’s about to kill THAT guy.”
Nice to know that every night, the whole Country is laughing derisively at usc’s #1 Hero. And Reggie Bush is about to be the butt of the next ten years of late-night monologues. The night after Bush undergoes his “Heismanectomy,” WE will be the ones in stitches, and calling for a Doctor to see if he can remove the smiles from our faces.
Now we’d like to BADLY paraphrase Steely Dan, in honor of Lake’s appointment with the NCAA scheduled for this FRIDAY: “When Black Friday comes, Reggie’s gonna collect everything he’s owed, and before his friends find out, he’ll be on the road. He’s gonna strike all the big red words from his little black book, then he’s gonna dig himself a hole, and lay down in it, but WE’RE the ones who’ll have satisfied souls. When Black Friday comes, he’s gonna stake his claim, and maybe change his name.” Sorry, but we’ve loved that song for many, many years.
And one final thought: People thought that Lake’s threat of a lawsuit was to persuade/coerce Bush to settle with him out of court, which would have also given Bush the ability to slap Lake with a Confidentiality Agreement, preventing him from talking to the NCAA. Apparently, Bush could give a flying f*ck about what happens to usc, and he figures that the NCAA can’t bother HIM personally, so why throw any money at Lake, just to keep sc out of the Shame Spotlight? So? We’ll see YOU in Court.