The NFL crushes Brian Cushing’s Appeal, Lane Kiffin puts Dillon Baxter on the No-Fly List for Hawaii, and Pete Carroll stuns Lawrence Jackson by shipping him off… to Detroit
De-NIED… x 3.
This week, three different football trojans got bad news, like three slaps in the face: Two because of allegedly using drugs to try to fit in, and the third, because he didn’t fit in.
According to the NFL and its extensive panel of medical experts, Brian Cushing is full of crap. And Steroids. The NFL has officially upheld Cushing’s 4-game suspension from the Houston Texans, throwing out his Appeal. Cushing had claimed that the abnormally raised hCG levels in his body were caused by a rare and never-before-diagnosed medical condition. But the NFL, after consulting with the Nation’s leading authorities on the subject, obviously believe that Cushing’s levels were like that of Manny Ramirez for the exact same reason — They both ingested the female fertility drug to come down from a Steroid cycle. Apparently, Cushing’s Weird Science has been debunked, and it didn’t take Penn & Teller, or Mythbusters to do it. Just a Real Genius.
So now that the experts have exposed Cushing’s lies, will he finally step up and tearfully admit — ala Mark McGwire –that he’s been juicing since high school? Or will he follow the example of Reggie Bush and Pete Carroll, and DENY the evidence, all the way to his grave?
And speaking of juice, it looks like Dillon Baxter won’t be having any fresh-squeezed Pineapple juice next month, when the rest of the trojans are enjoying a luau in Hawaii. Baxter, who has been suspended for the game, was still eligible to at least go on the trip to the Islands, but Lane Kiffin (or the invisible hand of Pat Haden) has just decided to make a more meaningful statement to the Freshman, by leaving him in South Central. Baxter is accused — by a source cited by the L.A. Times — of getting caught breaking curfew, in a place that reeked of Marijuana.
Baxter admits that he has made a series of mistakes, but keeps it vague. Can’t expect him to admit to Reefer — Even if he WANTED to “man up” in this situation and confess to exactly what happened, usc wouldn’t let him. That is not the kind of story they want the NCAA to be reading about right now.
Missing out on a trip to Hawaii when you are college-age is a BRUTAL punishment. That was one costly joint. If he would have waited a year or two, it might have been legal. Instead, he has to stay home while all his buddies enjoy the time of their lives. I wonder how Dillon will drown his sorrows?
And speaking of sorrow– the only thing worse than being banned from Hawaii, is being forced to Detroit. And it’s even worse when it is done to you by one of your own. Just like Kiffin/Haden stuck the sword in Baxter, it was Pete Carroll who stuck it to ex-trojan D-Lineman Lawrence Jackson. Jackson was a 1st-round pick of the Seattle Seahawks last year, but he apparently failed to compete, not being able to dent the Seattle Depth Chart. Then Carroll came in and CHANGED the Defensive scheme, making Jackson obsolete. Jackson was caught, size-wise, between Down Lineman and Outside Linebacker, as far as Carroll’s plan went.
But there might be a little more to it than just “not fitting in.” Carroll intimated that he was surprised that Jackson went in the 1st Round in the first place, and that Jackson should NOT be expected to dominate in the NFL. He went on to say something like Jackson just wanted to to rush the QB with outside moves, and wasn’t interested in getting down and dirty against nitty-gritty running attacks. In other words, Jackson wanted the glory of highlight-reel Sacks and Sack Dances, beating up on helpless, vulnerable QB’s, but was scared of messing with head-on tackles of powerful, onrushing Running Backs.
SO… just like he dumped ex-trojan LenDale White from the Seahawks, Carroll got rid of Jackson. But not only did he get rid of him — He sent him to Detroit, and fed him to the Lions. When you really want to screw someone, you trade him to the Lions. Detroit is the League’s Purgatory, and the Lions are the Clippers of the NFL. Despite tons of high Draft choices over the last few years, the Lions have yet to climb out of the NFL’s Bottom 10. But Carroll’s apparently-vindictive stroke of genius may just backfire: The Lions’ Matthew Stafford, Calvin Johnson, and Jahvid Best make up a Trifecta of Skill Players who could really light it up. Detroit could easily be better than Seattle this year. Unfortunately for Jackson, the two teams do NOT play each other this season.
Jackson is NOT voicing any bitterness towards Carroll FOR TRADING HIM — Instead he says he was GLAD TO GET OUT OF THERE, practically thanking Pom Pom for helping to save Jackson’s career — Jackson understands that there was no good Position for him in Carroll’s scheme. But more importantly, even Jackson can crack a depth chart in Detroit.
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A note on comments: For the last few months, I have been using a new, high-tech Spam Filter. The system has amazing artificial intelligence, and it permanently blocks ip addresses, etc. It quickly learned how trojans write, and doesn’t allow their obscenity-laced tirades to see the light of day. With some browsers, if your comment doesn’t immediately appear on the site with a “comment awaiting moderation” notice, that means the Spam auto-detection software has blocked the comment from ever being seen, by me or anyone else. And once you’ve been blocked, you’re blocked for good. This new Filter has made running this site much more enjoyable, as I continue to keep it a safe haven, 100% free of trojan fans. I consider it the only real Sanctuary in existence, and I hope you appreciate the effort. Bruin fans cans write in and say anything they want about the SCumbags, without having to worry about ANY retalliation or rebuttal whatsoever. Too bad there isn’t a Message Board like that.
Comments
3 responses to “POUNDED, GROUNDED, AND ASTOUNDED”
t-h,
Gee I just can’t imagine why the NFL didn’t buy Cushings BS story. But come on now, you have to give him credit for trying the untried. I didn’t know steroids made your brain that creative. Or do you suppose he had help thinking that one up???? What a riot!
Keep up the good work!
http://i275.photobucket.com/albums/jj313/StratDal/chet_Weird_Science.jpg
keep the content flowing…keep the trojans in jail….thanks!